lost valley

[motherhubbard]

I feel like dirt in August,
parched, watching for rain.
Words have run dry and still
I can’t be silent.
Will I ever learn to sit quiet?
It was mid June and the earth was full of life.
We hiked down Lost Valley alone together,
Our cares abandoned along side the highway.
We were high on fresh air, clean water and solitude.
If it had been warmer we could have skinny dipped,
but then things would have been different.
I loved you, it was my secret.
Sometimes I wake up to find that there is no storm,
we are not shivering in each others arms
watching the rain from the mouth of a cave.
Or running for the car hoping you left it unlocked.
I glance back over my left shoulder and see you smile
then I realize that you are not there-
I am no longer lost in the valley.
We moved forward, ahead and apart
I love you, it’s my secret.
On stormy nights I watch out the kitchen window
Do you hear me call in the thunder?

[Pendragon]

And if you get an answer, Ms. Adventurous? :blush:

[Granny5]

Now I have to wonder about this one all day! I like it very much. I'm trying to remember who you might have gone to Lost Valley with.......let me think...

[PrinceMyshkin]

I feel like dirt in August,
parched, watching for rain.
Words have run dry and still
I can’t be silent.
Will I ever learn to sit quiet?
It was mid June and the earth was full of life.
We hiked down Lost Valley alone together,
Our cares abandoned along side the highway.
We were high on fresh air, clean water and solitude.
If it had been warmer we could have skinny dipped,
but then things would have been different.
I loved you, it was my secret.
Sometimes I wake up to find that there is no storm,
we are not shivering in each others arms
watching the rain from the mouth of a cave.
Or running for the car hoping you left it unlocked.
I glance back over my left shoulder and see you smile
then I realize that you are not there-
I am no longer lost in the valley.
We moved forward, ahead and apart
I love you, it’s my secret.
On stormy nights I watch out the kitchen window
Do you hear me call in the thunder?

What I love about this is the quiet intimacy of the voice, the truthfulness of it. So often our poems are written in a public voice, a somewhat self-conscious voice, striving for effect or somehow larger or louder than life, but not here!

And the repetition of


I loved you, it was my secret.

and it's transformation to


I love you, it’s my secret.

is heartbreakingly beautiful!

[motherhubbard]

And if you get an answer, Ms. Adventurous? :blush:
no answer, Pen. and it wouldn't be a :brow: situation anyway


Now I have to wonder about this one all day! I like it very much. I'm trying to remember who you might have gone to Lost Valley with.......let me think...
I spent a lot of time at Lost Valley. lots!


What I love about this is the quiet intimacy of the voice, the truthfulness of it. So often our poems are written in a public voice, a somewhat self-conscious voice, striving for effect or somehow larger or louder than life, but not here!

You don’t think it rambled on too much or that I should cut off the last two lines or something! Or is it just beyond help, it’s OK if it’s beyond help. You know it’s just good to get those secret thoughts out sometimes.

[Pendragon]

no answer, Pen. and it wouldn't be a :brow: situation anyway
I have to get my chuckle. Besides, you are a world of surprises, my dear! ;) :p :D

[blazeofglory]

There is a blend of melancholia and love-lorn states and indeed there is something that is very deepening.

[PrinceMyshkin]

You don’t think it rambled on too much or that I should cut off the last two lines or something! Or is it just beyond help, it’s OK if it’s beyond help. You know it’s just good to get those secret thoughts out sometimes.

If I had thought any of those things would I have responded in the VERY enthusiastic way I did? NO, it's a bloody good poem! Isn't it funny or sad how we sometimes cannot believe or accept plain, unadulterated admiration?

[jon1jt]

This one could have done without the Seger line. I love Seger and that song, but it took me a bit to realize that it was a song quote, a bit disorienting going into your work. Or you could have shortened it some. Anyway, the poem is terrific and better than any Seger song I've heard. I love the matter-of-factness, the raw truths, with flashes of remembrance, now confessional.

[motherhubbard]

I have to get my chuckle. Besides, you are a world of surprises, my dear! ;) :p :D
:D I think I like the sound of that!


There is a blend of melancholia and love-lorn states and indeed there is something that is very deepening.
Thank you, Blaze.


If I had thought any of those things would I have responded in the VERY enthusiastic way I did? NO, it's a bloody good poem! Isn't it funny or sad how we sometimes cannot believe or accept plain, unadulterated admiration?You are right. I'm ready for the critic, but I'm not sure what to do when he pats my back. Thank you, Jerry.


This one could have done without the Seger line. I love Seger and that song, but it took me a bit to realize that it was a song quote, a bit disorienting going into your work. Or you could have shortened it some. Anyway, the poem is terrific and better than any Seger song I've heard. I love the matter-of-factness, the raw truths, with flashes of remembrance, now confessional.

Jon, sometimes I play that song just one more time and wish I had a drink. I wonder how it takes me back to something that is just a vapor? Thank you for your comments and the complement.

[amanda_isabel]

so subtle, yet deeply moving. you hit home too. i can totally relate :)