"And Hide..."

[Ocelot]

Oh boy. I can't believe I'm posting this. Okay, well, first off, I have a habit of writing emo poetry. And I'm sorry if you guys don't like that, but it's just what I write. So... go ahead, offer any comments you have, and if you have time please let me know how I can improve my writing. I haven't done this in ages. >.>

"Walking in the rain
Because no one sees you're crying.
Dancing in the sun
Because the brightness is your smile.
Lying in the snow
Because the cold is your numbness.

Staring at the fire
Because the flames burn in your eyes.
Looking at the drawings
Because they mimick what you're feeling.
Swearing at the light
Because you cannot hide with all that brightness.

Broken hearts and chewed up feelings,
Once everything made sense.
But slowly the truths slip away, and fade to lies,
Until all you can do is cling to the past--
And hide..."

[Zelly]

Yay. You're poetry is teh win. I likes it.

"Because you cannot hide with all that brightness." Just a personal thing, I like cannot be hidden better. And.. another personal preference, cursing > swearing. I like it both ways however. Or even, Cursing the light? I dunno. Just an idea.

[Ocelot]

Huh... I should make you edit my poetry. 'Cept that would be cheating. But yeah... hmm... looking at it, I thinks I agree with you. And weren't you saying earlier that none of us should write poetry? o.O

[Zelly]

I reconsidered. As long as Kira and Raito don't, I think we're good.

[Ocelot]

And you, dear. =P You aren't exactly the best, either. Of course, neither am I. But at least neither one of us are anywhere near as bad as Kira. I bet Rai's just as bad, though. o.O

[Zelly]

Copying other peoples poetry = fail.

Anyway. Yeah, I try not to write poetry. I do better with songs. And I don't think anyone has ever read those... >.<

So. Back to your poem. I like it. I only think that swearing isn't as poetic as cursing.