We Build Up Walls

[michael336]

We build up walls--though not in hate or rage,
To shelter us from those who hurt our heart,
Who turn their backs and put themselves apart.
The walls serve not to keep us in a cage.

We build up walls--but not to keep a friend
Within our life, with never chance to leave,
And friendship leads to just a chance to grieve
For freedom to seek other hearts to mend.

We build up walls--for reasons so arcane,
To bring unto the bound’ry those from whom
We long to hear one word to clear the doom
That hovers o’er our heart--to call our name.

We build up walls--a fragile heart surround--
To see who cares enough to tear them down.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Welcome to this forum - where you certainly belong, on the evidence of this poem.

That couplet departure from the previous abba quatrains had just the authoritative effect you must have intended!

[Xcape]

We build up walls--a fragile heart surround--
To see who cares enough to tear them down.

How true. :)

[AuntShecky]

I agree. The form of the poem works well. Good rhyme scheme and "rhythm section."

[michael336]

Thanks, guys! Can't go wrong with the Shakespearean sonnet....

[amanda_isabel]

forgive me michael, but isnt the shakespearean sonnet abab, cdcd, efef, gg? the abba.. thing-isn;t the Petrarchan?

don't get me wrong, though. the sonnet works. :)

[jon1jt]

We build up walls--though not in hate or rage,
To shelter us from those who hurt our heart,
Who turn their backs and put themselves apart.
The walls serve not to keep us in a cage.

We build up walls--but not to keep a friend
Within our life, with never chance to leave,
And friendship leads to just a chance to grieve
For freedom to seek other hearts to mend.

We build up walls--for reasons so arcane,
To bring unto the bound’ry those from whom
We long to hear one word to clear the doom
That hovers o’er our heart--to call our name.

We build up walls--a fragile heart surround--
To see who cares enough to tear them down.

I haven't read any of the feedback so far, but I'm banking on many 'oohs" and 'aahs.'

I see touchy-feely dogma, oversimplification, and over-sentimentalization. The subtle preachiness turned me off midway.


Within our life, with never chance to leave,


We build up walls--for reasons so arcane,


We build up walls--but not to keep a friend
Within our life,

[kiz_paws]

Hey, Michael, welcome to LitNet. :)

I enjoyed the poem for the message contained (I am not one at analyzing the HOWs involved in poetry, I read it for the WHATs)... but anyhow -- your message was beautifully put and the final two lines completely grabbed me. Well done and I hope that you post more of your work here. :)

[mazHur]

Welcome, Michael.
Michael is the emergence of yet a budding poet on litnet!

Nice rhythmic (form) poetry,,,congrats!