Sombra...its almost finished

[UltimaHybrid]

ok so i worked on my poem ... and i got a few ideas and i used them now i wanna know what you all think... be nice



Sombra


I take my Fear and Humiliation
I crush them into my Fist
I open up my hand and I have Diamonds
My Diamonds are my Rage
I have diamonds in my eyes

With the diamonds of Rage in my eyes
You see only the One thing I want in turn,
Love
You saw what I used to be…Inside
I am what you wanted me to be.

A machine of Complete Hatred
A machine of Complete Rage
A machine of Complete Ferocity

I feel something Dark is creeping
Something inside changing me
You freaking out on my antics
Not giving me a choice
I lash out at all I Despise

[chasestalling]

finish it so i can correlate the title to the poem..i mean please, pretty please...

[motherhubbard]

I liked this first thought- Squeezing rage into diamonds, but I think it made me want that rage to become something precious or beautiful like diamonds. I would love to see the speaker become more powerful than his rage instead of an instrument of rage. There is something beautiful and precious in self-control.

[UltimaHybrid]

*dances around* YAY people like my poem...cool i'll finish it buy tonight i promise

[UltimaHybrid]

Sombra


I take my Fear and Humiliation
I crush them into my Fist
I open up my hand and I have Diamonds
My Diamonds are my Rage
I have diamonds in my eyes

With the diamonds of Rage in my eyes
You see only the One thing I want in turn,
Love
You saw what I used to be…Inside
I am what you wanted me to be.

A machine of Complete Hatred
A machine of Complete Rage
A machine of Complete Ferocity

I feel something Dark is creeping
Something inside changing me
You freaking out on my antics
Not giving me a choice
I lash out at all I Despise

This Shadowy cloud coming Over me
I defy your doubts and I endure your Grievances
One look, one thought is what you give me
You don’t see the inside of Me
The real me
The human side

This Shadow of a cloud
Is at my control but I only want two things in life
Love
Acceptance

[UltimaHybrid]

Its finished well now it is heres the last part...



One man Once said “Love Those As You Would Want To Be Loved”
I have asked but I have not received
I have bled but I have not Been Renowned
I Cry but I am not Loved

[UltimaHybrid]

aww no replies or any comments....hmm ok