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APEist
12-06-2007, 01:39 PM
my first jab at poetry:sick:

Fate

That which exists
In the minds of the weak,
That which persists,
In the eyes of the meek,
Should hold true
For the likes of Hitler,
As well as yourself,
Thus the wicked fuhrer
Is innocent of guilt?
The path has been laid,
Eve’s tale in vain,
Yet the game is still played?

PrinceMyshkin
12-08-2007, 12:24 AM
my first jab at poetry:sick:

Fate

That which exists
In the minds of the weak,
That which persists,
In the eyes of the meek,
Should hold true
For the likes of Hitler,
As well as yourself,
Thus the wicked fuhrer
Is innocent of guilt?
The path has been laid,
Eve’s tale in vain,
Yet the game is still played?

To me this was more than a jab - more like a knock-out punch! I love the economy of it, the sort of poem that one turns back to read over (and over) after a first reading.

Tell you something for free: it may be your first poem, but it won't be your last!