Madrigal

[ampoule]

Madrigal

Unaccompanied, I sit in the dim dark room, lit by candlelight,
the simple harmony of my two voices pulling me apart,
The costumes, the lilting voices, the wassail bowl, the boar's head,
the flaming plum pudding, feasting my senses.

I watch the others watching,
Couples smiling at each other, touching each other,
a very fat woman rubbing her lover's knee.

I want to be her.

That should be me.

Unaccompanied, I sit, feasting my senses on memories.

ampoule, December Nineteenth, TwoThousand

[PrinceMyshkin]

Madrigal

Unaccompanied, I sit in the dim dark room, lit by candlelight,
the simple harmony of my two voices pulling me apart,
The costumes, the lilting voices, the wassail bowl, the boar's head,
the flaming plum pudding, feasting my senses.

I watch the others watching,
Couples smiling at each other, touching each other,
a very fat woman rubbing her lover's knee.

I want to be her.

That should be me.

Unaccompanied, I sit, feasting my senses on memories.

ampoule, December Nineteenth, TwoThousand



Oh, Ampoule, if I were not otherwise committed, I'd make a bid for all two of you! This is SO beautiful, first in the cornucopia of Christmas imagery and then in the acutely painful narrowing down to the more personal!

[amanda_isabel]

i agree with PAM. beautiful.

[TheFifthElement]

Ampoule, it's been a while since you've made me cry with your sad, sad poems. :bawling:

Lovely, emotionally destructive poem.

[Scube]

I love it when a snippit of reality can be captured and displayed so wonderfully for again-and-again observation and pondering. This is the essence of poetry - for me!

[mazHur]

Originally Posted by ampoule View Post
Madrigal

Unaccompanied, I sit in the dim dark room, lit by candlelight,
the simple harmony of my two voices pulling me apart,
The costumes, the lilting voices, the wassail bowl, the boar's head,
the flaming plum pudding, feasting my senses.

I watch the others watching,
Couples smiling at each other, touching each other,
a very fat woman rubbing her lover's knee.

I want to be her.

That should be me.

Unaccompanied, I sit, feasting my senses on memories.

ampoule, December Nineteenth, TwoThousand



dim dark room,

or dim lit ??


feasting my senses.

stirring my senses?? hidden senses?



I want to be her.

but she is a fatsy ?


good poem,,,,,,,,,but smacks of sadness of being alone :) ;) :D

[AuntShecky]

It might be fun to look up the madrigal form and see
if any of those tunes have lyrics and if the lyrical form matches your piece. If not, you could re-work your lines
so they would fit into that form.

I liked the Washington Irving type imagery in the first
stanza.

The only other change I'd make is to reverse "feasting my senses" to "my senses are feasting." I just looked it up
and found that feast as a verb can be both intransitive AND
transitive -- as in "to feast one's eyes on a sight." So your
original phrasing is NOT in any way ungrammatical.

[dibyendra]

Such a sad poem Ampoule. This is what we usually feel time after time but you've expressed your loneliness in such a way which we can feel how did you feel while you were alone.

[ampoule]

Oh dear. :( Now I'm sad. ;) This poem is seven years old, written back when I loved wallowing in all that guck. I only posted it because it takes place during the Christmas season.

Also, I wasn't writing a madrigal. I was writing about attending a Madrigal dinner at a nearby university. I just didn't want dinner in the title. I was probably more jealous that I wasn't singing than anything. ;)
Sorry for the confusion. Now, perk up, Christmas is supposed to be merry! ;)