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sycho_warrior
08-21-2004, 04:45 AM
The barefoot boy on the beach
So lonely
He has nobody to talk to
He is the barefoot boy on the beach

So sad
There is nobody who wants to listen to him
He is the lonely barefoot boy on the beach

So miserable
He is so sad and lonely
He is the barefoot boy on the beach

Wait; listen
There is Someone who’ll listen
He loves that barefoot boy on the beach

Barefoot boy
Don’t feel sad; don’t feel lonely
You could be the happy barefoot boy on the beach

Barefoot boy
God loves you, he listens when you talk
He will make you the joyful barefoot boy on the beach

So happy
He now knows that someone loves him and cares
He is the barefoot boy on the beach

Koa
08-21-2004, 12:01 PM
I like it, the shortness of the stanzas makes it interesting, and the repetitiveness too. But personally I feel like something is missing before the end... He's told he'll be happy, and then he's suddenly happy, personally I feel there should be something in between...Some sort of process that makes him happy... Unless the point is that he becomes happy cos now he has trust, or even religious faith as you mention God... If that's the purpose, than I guess that the developement is more or less perfect, even if I don't find it too working for me. :)

sycho_warrior
08-21-2004, 12:24 PM
Hmm I never thought about it that way, I'll take a look at it some day
:)