Sudden Yellow Clouds

[TheFifthElement]

Recapture a day when
summer brushed our skin
golden, when the sky
bloomed a brief, intellectual blue.
We lay in the green grass watching,

as the sudden yellow clouds
rushed overhead, filling the gaps
in the scene.

You picked a buttercup,
placed it against my skin, my breasts,
does it like butter?
you said.

Later I pressed it between the pages
of a book that you gave me,

a life extinguished,

to be recaptured later;
soft, faded yellow blooms,

your hand on my breast
a brief, intellectual blue.

[jon1jt]

sweet, sensuous, naturally ineffable, i love it. My favorite line, which i interpret as a breath, a pause in the revelry and magic of that moment lived:


a life extinguished,

the only thing that's not working for me is 'intellectual blue,' a mere hiccup in my reading of what is otherwise delicious.

[TheFifthElement]

Thank you Jon :D

I could explain the 'intellectual blue' but the story is so long and vague that there's no point! Suffice to say that it came from an amalgamation of a number of thoughts and, somehow, it just belongs there.

[dibyendra]

Lovely Fifth ! A quite different from other poems of yours. I enjoyed reading this one.

[Caravaggio]

I love the sensuality of this poem. I'm not sure what it is, but it really struck a personal chord with me. I keep reading it trying to figure out what detail, what turn of phrase, what phonetic sound captures my attention.

Woops accidently hit the post button early lol I have more to say so I'll edit.

It's by far my favorite poem posted on here. Very good.

[symphony]

All i see is excellence.

[amanda_isabel]

wonderful.

[jon1jt]

Does it like butter? Um...Am I the only guy on this site willing to openly say that this is a darn sexy line of poetry if I've ever seen one?!?!! :p Fifth, they love it, they're just too shy to admit it!


You picked a buttercup,
placed it against my skin, my breasts,
does it like butter?
you said.

[ampoule]

Does it like butter? Um...Am I the only guy on this site willing to openly say that this is a darn sexy line of poetry if I've ever seen one?!?!! :p Fifth, they love it, they're just too shy to admit it!


You picked a buttercup,
placed it against my skin, my breasts,
does it like butter?
you said.

JON...I'm not a guy but I think it's a pretty sexy line too. :D Darn! Wish I had thought of it first. ;) The way WE always did this was holding a dandelion to our chinny chin chins. Now...if only I had a handsome fellow to lead me to a grassy field of green, if only there were buttercups, if only it weren't so cold for this test.....**SIGH**
Does it like butter?...wow, have I thought of some good comeback lines. ;)

Man oh man Fifth, you have blown my Colors thread to bits with just ONE POEM! Beautiful.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Man oh man Fifth, you have blown my Colors thread to bits with just ONE POEM! Beautiful.

The colour of butter
we know all too well,
but you have yet to write
of the colour of love!

And yes, Ms Fifth, I heartily concur with all that has been said in praise of this poem.

[firefangled]

Does it like butter? Um...Am I the only guy on this site willing to openly say that this is a darn sexy line of poetry if I've ever seen one?!?!! :p Fifth, they love it, they're just too shy to admit it!


You picked a buttercup,
placed it against my skin, my breasts,
does it like butter?
you said.

Jon, quite the contrary, I just read it and I love the entire poem, but especially this fine and sexy moment put to words.

Fifth, this both a sad and beautiful poem. The imagery is exquisite.

[blazeofglory]

Recapture a day when
summer brushed our skin
golden, when the sky
bloomed a brief, intellectual blue.
We lay in the green grass watching,

as the sudden yellow clouds
rushed overhead, filling the gaps
in the scene.

You picked a buttercup,
placed it against my skin, my breasts,
does it like butter?
you said.

Later I pressed it between the pages
of a book that you gave me,

a life extinguished,

to be recaptured later;
soft, faded yellow blooms,

your hand on my breast
a brief, intellectual blue.




Indeed they are beautiful lines, deeply moving, a human situation intermingled with a natural setup.

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks everyone!

:lol: :lol: 'does it like butter' - glad I didn't go with 'do you like butter' which was the original line, somehow it doesn't carry the same meaning. Yes ampoule, if only it were summer *sigh*.