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View Full Version : Unexpected Resources (Blp said it needed its own thread!)



Pendragon
11-24-2007, 10:51 AM
Unexpected Resources

Doldrums descend.
Just leave me alone.
I gotta find someplace,
Where no one will bother me.

Lonely old graveyard,
Just off an old dirt road—
Folk don’t come up here much,
Usually…

Weathered old flat stone,
Even the name long gone—
I’m guessing they won’t mind,
If I rest here.

“Hey buddy, you OK?”
Why not just tell him the truth?
Didn’t hear him drive up,
But he looks kind and concerned in the moonlight.

“No. Feel like I’ve been through hell.
“About to lose my mind.
“Nobody cares any more, ya know?
“Heaven knows why I’m tellin’ you.

“Middle of nowhere out here.
“You ever feel like your world was comin’ to an end?”
He nodded kind of slowly.
“That’s my grave you’re sittin’ on…”

Pendragon
© 11/23/07

blp
11-24-2007, 10:59 AM
What a load of rubbish!

Just kidding. :brow:

Yes, I like this one. Some small nits: I think 'no one dare' should be 'no one dares', though I'd go for something a bit less archaic anyway as the rest of the poem has such nice, simple demotic tone, and this is useful also to the twist at the end. 'No one will bother me' would do fine. In fact, I think it's truer to the sense.

looz is spelled 'lose', though practically no one seems to be aware of this.

ampoule
11-24-2007, 12:25 PM
Ooo ooo ooo, I like this Pen....a spooky place to spend your birthday fella.

Virgil
11-24-2007, 12:54 PM
A good one Pen. :thumbs_up

AuntShecky
11-24-2007, 02:27 PM
From what I hear the place to go when you want to be alone is Tropicana Field -- in the height of baseball season.
No, I kid, I kid. You are one of the few who attempt to write old-fashioned ballads (i.e. narrative poems that actually tell a story) and I salute you for it.

Sweets America
11-24-2007, 02:39 PM
I really enjoy this!! Great!! :banana: