For My Father

[TheFifthElement]

It’s nine birthdays you’ve missed now;
no card, no phone call.
I wait by the door but you never visit.

You haven’t met my son.
He inherited your ears,
my eyes, a questioning mind;

or my daughter whose laughter
can make the whole house smile.
They ask about you, sometimes.

Who will dig the garden with me now?
Who will drive my mother mad?
Who will hug me when I’m sad?

My friends complain, their parents
don’t understand. But I understand;
you should love them while you can.

It’s ten years since I last saw you,
withered and cold, in that bed.
I tried to speak but you wouldn’t listen.

You had no right to leave me here alone
when I still needed you;
didn’t you know?

[PrinceMyshkin]

Heartbreaking! In particular, the lines:


It’s ten years since I last saw you,
withered and cold, in that bed.
I tried to speak but you wouldn’t listen.


Although... do you really mean "wouldn't" rather than "couldn't"? Even if the former is the more truthful choice, it raises a question the poem doesn't attempt to address, that of some conflict between the persona and her father.

[Sweets America]

Sad poem. To me, the 'wouldn't' thing could be interpreted as representing this feeling of anger that we have towards someone who dies, because some part of us is angry that the person 'abandonned' us, even if it wasn't their fault or intention. Actually I assumed that the father had passed away, because of the line 'withered and cold, in that bed.' But in the meantime, the word 'cold' could be seen as being a mental state, which would go well with the 'wouldn't'. So, I think the 'wouldn't' plays with a certain ambiguity. I am not sure my statement is very clear, though. :D
Oh, in this line:
or my daughter who’s laughter
shouldn't it be 'whose' instead of who's? I am not sure.
I like the last line, it sounds somehow innocent.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Sad poem. To me, the 'wouldn't' thing could be interpreted as representing this feeling of anger that we have towards someone who dies, because some part of us is angry that the person 'abandonned' us, even if it wasn't their fault or intention. Actually I assumed that the father had passed away, because of the line 'withered and cold, in that bed.' But in the meantime, the word 'cold' could be seen as being a mental state, which would go well with the 'wouldn't'. So, I think the 'wouldn't' plays with a certain ambiguity. I am not sure my statement is very clear, though. :D
Oh, in this line:
or my daughter who’s laughter
shouldn't it be 'whose' instead of who's? I am not sure.
I like the last line, it sounds somehow innocent.

Of course! Your interpretation of "wouldn't" is a far more subtle reading than mine was, and is supported by the final three lines. The newly abandoned daughter, according to that reading, is in that anger stage of grieving. She cannot or will not accept that the once omnipotent father is now incapable of responding to her: it must be that he is coldly refusing to!

That must be what 5th intended.

[TheFifthElement]

Sad poem. To me, the 'wouldn't' thing could be interpreted as representing this feeling of anger that we have towards someone who dies, because some part of us is angry that the person 'abandonned' us, even if it wasn't their fault or intention. Actually I assumed that the father had passed away, because of the line 'withered and cold, in that bed.' But in the meantime, the word 'cold' could be seen as being a mental state, which would go well with the 'wouldn't'. So, I think the 'wouldn't' plays with a certain ambiguity. I am not sure my statement is very clear, though. :D
Oh, in this line:
or my daughter who’s laughter
shouldn't it be 'whose' instead of who's? I am not sure.
I like the last line, it sounds somehow innocent.

Yes you're right Sweets America - it was an expression of anger towards a person who perhaps now couldn't listen but wouldn't listen because if he had he would have known that he was supposed to live.

The ambiguity was also deliberate, partly to show the similarity of feelings that any person has when they feel that their parents have abandoned them - I know a few people who don't maintain contact with their parents and the feelings they have are in a sense very similar to someone who has been bereaved. Relationships, even difficult ones, are still important and once that person has gone you can't ever change it. I suppose the difference lies in the fact that where the other person is still alive there is an assumed finality, whereas in death there is actual finality.

And yes, 'who's' 'whose' you're right about that too! Thanks for spotting that :)

[symphony]

the personal attachment rings out in this poem. emotions nicely put. but what i particularly loved is the accusing tone, with the denials, the queries...

[Granny5]

It's lovely, Fifth.

[ampoule]

Nice Fifth. I liked the picture you posted on your blog also.

[Virgil]

It’s nine birthdays you’ve missed now;
no card, no phone call.
I wait by the door but you never visit.

You haven’t met my son.
He inherited your ears,
my eyes, a questioning mind;

or my daughter whose laughter
can make the whole house smile.
They ask about you, sometimes.

Who will dig the garden with me now?
Who will drive my mother mad?
Who will hug me when I’m sad?

My friends complain, their parents
don’t understand. But I understand;
you should love them while you can.

It’s ten years since I last saw you,
withered and cold, in that bed.
I tried to speak but you wouldn’t listen.

You had no right to leave me here alone
when I still needed you;
didn’t you know?

I saw this in your blog Fifth and didn't have time to respond then. I don't know why you said he didn't look like much, he seemed like a nice man who loved his daughter. This also hit a nerve for me because it's about two months now from my father's one year of his passing. As to the poem, it's a little schmaltzy, but that's the nature of this type of poem.

This hit a particular nerve because I had the same experience:

It’s ten years since I last saw you,
withered and cold, in that bed.
I tried to speak but you wouldn’t listen.

[blazeofglory]

It’s nine birthdays you’ve missed now;
no card, no phone call.
I wait by the door but you never visit.

You haven’t met my son.
He inherited your ears,
my eyes, a questioning mind;

or my daughter whose laughter
can make the whole house smile.
They ask about you, sometimes.

Who will dig the garden with me now?
Who will drive my mother mad?
Who will hug me when I’m sad?

My friends complain, their parents
don’t understand. But I understand;
you should love them while you can.

It’s ten years since I last saw you,
withered and cold, in that bed.
I tried to speak but you wouldn’t listen.

You had no right to leave me here alone
when I still needed you;
didn’t you know?


This is really appealing and touches the innermost of me indeed>

[Scube]

I found it to be both a little sad and sweet at the same time. Very moving.

[dibyendra]

Really moving poem Fifth ! The bond which had been created or which creates in family keeps on anchoring from time after time and I found this on your poem. We dwell on nostalgic memories from time to time Fifth....These kind of poem really moves me and It reminded me something similar to your thoughts Fifth....
Thank you for sharing this poem!

Keep up your good work Fifth !

Love,
Dibyendra

[firefangled]

Fifth, this is a beautiful poem. I don't know how I missed it the first time. Very touching. There are so many we leave unsaid usually.

I lost my father a little over a year ago, but years before that.

Thanks for sharing this.

[dibyendra]

Fifth, this is a beautiful poem. I don't know how I missed it the first time. Very touching. There are so many we leave unsaid usually.

I lost my father a little over a year ago, but years before that.

Thanks for sharing this.

Oh, Fire, I'm so sorry to hear that ! It's really painful when loved ones goes away leaving a nostalgic memories.

Love,
Dibyendra

[schadenfreude]

This is one of the most poignant poems I have ever read. Thank you.

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks everyone, it was good to get this out. Perhaps not the greatest poetry (it's a bit Hallmark-y) but that wasn't what I was aiming for anyway. The message is heartfelt.

Thanks for all your lovely comments, and my sympathies to those who have similarly lost parents, or loved ones for that matter.

[Pendragon]

Not Hallmarky. Heart Felt. And That's what makes it beautiful. Loss is never easy, but here I hear a voice that says so much that it tugs at you as though the person has just vanished, not passed on, and the daughter wonders why and where. Lovely.

[NikolaiI]

I agree with Pen - actually, it stands completely well on its own merits as a poem. Eloquent and very beautiful - if you ever come back, Fifth, thank you for this.