Two new poems, really like some feedback please.

[drurie]

DREAMS

Fleeing like angels
tho they fly low

sweeping the expanse
of reality

aimless in their destinations
going only in realms of insanity

dodging surreal thoughts
of frontiers soon to come

knowing well that they
will cease to exist

when the dawn
comes once again

-----------------------------------
OLD MAN


Alone.....
the dreamer dreams alone,
forgotten?

Simply lost in his own thoughts
trying to escape perhaps
his own reality

for sanity is never too far
yet close enough to be called
insanity

and the vacant eyes,
watery and lost in memories
stare into nothingness

the lines in his face mean nothing
anymore
for everyone is gone now

so he sits there every day now
waiting.....
waiting alone.

[dibyendra]

DREAMS

Fleeing like angels
tho they fly low

sweeping the expanse
of reality

aimless in their destinations
going only in realms of insanity

dodging surreal thoughts
of frontiers soon to come

knowing well that they
will cease to exist

when the dawn
comes once again


I especially loved the following line Drurie :


aimless in their destinations
going only in realms of insanity

dodging surreal thoughts
of frontiers soon to come

knowing well that they
will cease to exist

when the dawn
comes once again





OLD MAN


Alone.....
the dreamer dreams alone,
forgotten?

Simply lost in his own thoughts
trying to escape perhaps
his own reality

for sanity is never too far
yet close enough to be called
insanity

and the vacant eyes,
watery and lost in memories
stare into nothingness

the lines in his face mean nothing
anymore
for everyone is gone now

so he sits there every day now
waiting.....
waiting alone.


I especially loved this poem Drurie. This reminded me of my Grandpa....

Thanks for sharing this poem. :thumbs_up

[Chortle]

i absoutely love it, almost wish there was more to it though, especially in dreams, i think that if that poem were expanded to be more visual, i would love it even more, but even as it is, it captures the unearthiness of dreams.

[drurie]

Thank you both.

Dibyendra, it is written wi my grandfather in mind and all the vacant eyes of the elderly we see everyday.

Chortle, it truely could have been much longer, I tend to ramble so I try and limit myself to five minutes although in this case, I do agree wi you, it should have been longer and if the mood strikes, it may change

[dibyendra]

Thank you both.

Dibyendra, it is written wi my grandfather in mind and all the vacant eyes of the elderly we see everyday.

Chortle, it truely could have been much longer, I tend to ramble so I try and limit myself to five minutes although in this case, I do agree wi you, it should have been longer and if the mood strikes, it may change

But I think the second poem is fair enough. I sometime love poem which leaves every other imagination upon readers. I liked both but 'Old Man' is better one among two poems you have posted.

Dibyendra