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Rockin462
11-10-2007, 01:18 PM
Its subtle curvature outlines its beauty
Fully bloomed it exudes a shiny pink hue
Growing to fruition with life, its duty
It'll brighten the day and enlighten your mood

Its scalloped branches stretch out for the sky
Trapping the rain that decends night or day
Peeling its bark as it grabs for the light
Red, brown and beige, its bold colors array

Its ripened ovaries, a deceitful delight
Its sweet tasting bounty appeased Eves appetite
For centuries this grand malus has been cherished

Written about since freewill began
This immortal being of Eden
Can't be blamed as Adams soul perished

This was entered last week in the form contest.
Thought I would post it here to get some opinions on it.
Thanks

TheFifthElement
11-11-2007, 07:14 AM
I enjoyed this Rockin', the lightness of the rhymes gives it a delicate tone. Loved these lines in particular :


Its subtle curvature outlines its beauty


Its ripened ovaries, a deceitful delight