Death Moment

[Pretty^Athens]

The black night
coloured my curtains
Nothing to hear
Nothing to see
And nothing to touch
Everything's silent
Everything's dark
The moon is depressed
It's hidden behind the clouds
The leaves are shocked
They're fasting...
* * * *
Nothing...
Even the wind
Sank into the darkness...
My curtains tried to talk
To say something
But that "nothing" had
Its respect and control
It controlled everything
And even when my blood tried
To...run...
My heart just stopped it...
It was a death moment...

i'm waiting forward to reading your reviews...

[manny2]

i liked the first part a lot, kinda lost me with the second part, but the description is really good

[Pretty^Athens]

thankyou!

[Virgil]

I liked it all except for the last line. It was redundant. These to lines really grabbed me:

The leaves are shocked
They're fasting...
That seemed quite original.

[ampoule]

Yes, 'the leaves are shocked, they're fasting' stopped me in my tracks.

[Pretty^Athens]

Wow, i didn't know i could do that!