View Full Version : what tomorrow brings
motherhubbard
11-02-2007, 05:55 PM
I feel so lost, or maybe just empty,
sitting here a hollow woman in the fullness of life.
What blessing I lack I do not know
and there is nothing I can say is amiss.
Still I feel a longing for rest or togetherness or maybe just time.
I’d like to think that tomorrow will be different,
But I know what tomorrow brings- more.
More, slung over his hunched back
gaining distance on me with every steady step
Clomping heavy boots that sound like Doc Martins on hollow stairs
I wish I could reach out - lock the door and hook the chain
Pretend that I’m not home. Tomorrow might think I’ve taken a vacation.
Would he be angry if I ran off to some little bed and breakfast in the hills
and woke to the smell of someone else cooking?
I’d have two farm eggs over medium, bacon and coffee.
Tomorrow might just plop his old bag down on the porch,
and kick the door with his steel toed boots.
He might scream or try to see in the windows.
But I’d be hiding quietly in a hot bubble bath,
my smiling face under a hot washcloth
symphony
11-02-2007, 06:10 PM
:D nice.
But what if he's got wits enough to break in?
^_^
TheFifthElement
11-04-2007, 06:34 AM
I really like this motherhubbard, perhaps it would benefit from a little trimming, but you've got a really strong poem here. I know the feeling, of never seeming to have time, just wanting a day off, someone to look after you, waking to the smell of someone else's cooking - yes!
I loved these parts in particular:
sitting here a hollow woman in the fullness of life.
But I know what tomorrow brings- more.
More, slung over his hunched back
gaining distance on me with every steady step
Tomorrow might just plop his old bag down on the porch,
and kick the door with his steel toed boots.
He might scream or try to see in the windows.
But I’d be hiding quietly in a hot bubble bath,
my smiling face under a hot washcloth
Enjoy your bath motherhubbard - it sounds like you've earned it :)
ampoule
11-04-2007, 08:18 AM
So many lines here touch me deeply. This is a wonderful poem, so real.
Granny5
11-04-2007, 10:06 AM
I feel so lost, or maybe just empty,
sitting here a hollow woman in the fullness of life.
What blessing I lack I do not know
and there is nothing I can say is amiss.
Still I feel a longing for rest or togetherness or maybe just time.
I’d like to think that tomorrow will be different,
But I know what tomorrow brings- more.
More, slung over his hunched back
gaining distance on me with every steady step
Clomping heavy boots that sound like Doc Martins on hollow stairs
I wish I could reach out - lock the door and hook the chain
Pretend that I’m not home. Tomorrow might think I’ve taken a vacation.
Would he be angry if I ran off to some little bed and breakfast in the hills
and woke to the smell of someone else cooking?
I’d have two farm eggs over medium, bacon and coffee.
Tomorrow might just plop his old bag down on the porch,
and kick the door with his steel toed boots.
He might scream or try to see in the windows.
But I’d be hiding quietly in a hot bubble bath,
my smiling face under a hot washcloth
You finally posted a new poem and it was worth the wait. Good job, Kiddo.
firefangled
11-04-2007, 11:04 AM
MH, so good to see you back in these parts again. This was a beautiful, but longing poem.
While you are in that bath, remember, tomorrow is nothing but a concept; it doesn't exist. There is only now, warm water, bubbles, candles, music, washcloth and no one else but you. :yawnb:
Virgil
11-04-2007, 12:25 PM
Mom-H, I really like it too. I agree with FifthElement that it could use some smoothing over in spots, but the heart of it is an excellent poem. Interesting paradox how in the first stanza you are longing for time but the rest is a running away from tme. Time is such a weird concept if one really thinks about it. Fifth already highlighted my favorite parts, so I'll let that stand. :)
PrinceMyshkin
11-04-2007, 01:49 PM
Make this one vigorous vote against the two who proposed trimming or smoothing it out. It grabbed me by the throat from the beginning and NEVER let go. And that seemingly so humble detail of the wet washcloth was just so perfect a conclusion! In a condition such as you describe, one doesn't long so much for a holiday in Hawaii, it seems so out of reach, but a hot washcloth!
The ending is reminiscent of a heartbreaking story by the Yiddish writer I.L. Peretz, "Bontche Schweig," which you could look up... if only you had the time! And I can quite see why I haven't been hearing from you, much as I'd have liked to.
motherhubbard
11-04-2007, 05:22 PM
I have to say I was thinking everyone might have forgotten me. Thanks for all of your responses. My husband thought it was depressing and wondered why I was so depressed and he said that he just didn’t get it- he always says that. I giggled when I wrote it. I get so tickled at the thought of hiding quietly under a washcloth like I wasn’t there- Thanks for all of the comments everyone. What do the trimmers think should be trimmed?
Pretty^Athens
11-04-2007, 05:29 PM
wow i really love it... it touched me deep inside.. it's just the way i feel about tomorrow!
writ on
motherhubbard
11-04-2007, 05:36 PM
guess what- when I woke up this morning my husband was cooking bacon and fresh farm eggs and my daughter was fixing biscuits and the coffee was already ready- FANTASTIC!!
Granny5
11-04-2007, 05:38 PM
Maybe you should write more?
PrinceMyshkin
11-06-2007, 07:26 AM
guess what- when I woke up this morning my husband was cooking bacon and fresh farm eggs and my daughter was fixing biscuits and the coffee was already ready- FANTASTIC!!
Yes, to what Granny says - and maybe the next one will be about the end of the war in Iraq and a hopefully glorious November 3rd, 2008?
ampoule
11-06-2007, 07:58 AM
I still agree with my thoughts in #4 above (it's good to agree with oneself, is it not?), but after reading your blog...this question....:D
Sorry, I could not resist. I hope you enjoyed your breakfast and that this morning's will be just as nice.
p.s. I'm very curious. On your mom's blog, whatever happened with your dad's xray?
motherhubbard
11-06-2007, 11:24 PM
Well Prince, I was thinking about writing about the laundry or breathing life back in to the remodeling effort but I suppose world peace is more important.
Thanks Amp- nothing came of the X-ray. I would still like to see it. and I'm not sure what this question is?
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