Following Paths

[SmilesAF]

Following Paths

Looking for a way to find,
A simple path of mine,
It’s the one I’ve followed every day,
And yet, never been led astray,
Feet following trodden tracks,
Coat neatly hung on the entry racks,
The clerk asks,
“Finished all the daily tasks?”
I’ve put them aside,
Can’t be bothered to abide,
Hail procrastination,
Rotting the systems exploitation,
The misinterpreted expectation,
For us to fit they’re calculation,
Us the outsiders,
Us the insiders,
Of our own congregation,
Considered an association,
Of the major convention,
Of nauseating affection,
Creating our own fleet,
A new path for our feet,
“Copy that, Roger”
Sincerely, the Artful Dodger.

[amuse]

lovely use of meter changes with the rhymes - it makes them quite bearable (not to be rude, i just don't like rote rhythm).

it's almost like a song. reminds me of the poetry in stevie wonder's "pastime paradise" from the '76 album "songs in the key of life."

enjoyed these parts:

I’ve put them aside,
Can’t be bothered to abide,
Hail procrastination,
&

Creating our own fleet,
A new path for our feet
(especially the last because feet can be fleet as well.)

[SmilesAF]

I'm glad you liked it. It's funny you brought up the song, because i was listening to a track of alternate rock songs at the time. most of them being a bit rebellious themselves, and therefore perhaps the whole attack on government type of style.

[Koa]

aaaw cool rhythm!!!

[WX6[ck]]

Two Words:
Anti Convention

:D

No no, I really like it and enjoyed reading it. I like the ryhme and usage of words.

[Miranda]

I think this is good too. It's like a 'rap' song..if there's such a thing as a rap 'song'. It reminds me of a song called 'Goldwatch Blues'..though 'Goldwatch Blues' is a bit corny and your poem is more classy.

Goldwatch Blues - Donovan Leitch.

I went down for my interview the fourth day of July
Personell man he questioned me until I nearly died.
Made me fill in forms until I shook with fear,
About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin's queer.

Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chains,
And your piece of paper saying that you're sane
And if you've a son that wants a good carreer,
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years.

He asked me how many jobs I'd have before,
He nearly had a heart attack when I answered four
Four jobs and twenty years old, this can never be,
We only take on men until until they die.

Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chains
And your piece of paper saying that you're sane,
And if you've a son that wants a good career,
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years.

He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line,
This is where we bury them in quickstone and in lime
And if you come to work for us in this you must agree -
That if you're gonna die, please do it during tea-break.

Here's your goldwatch and the shackles for your chains,
And your piece of paper saying that you're sane
And if you've a son that wants a good career,
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years.

This story that you heard, you might find rather queer,
But it is the truth you'll be surprised to hear
I did not want no job upon the board,
I just wanted to take a brush and sweep the ****** floor.

Here's your goldwatch and shackles for your chains
And your piece of paper saying that you're sane.
And if you've a son that wants a good career,
Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years.

[amuse]

heehee. well worth the read. ow. i remember when people used to spend 25, 30 years at one job...their whole life, even. when i was little it was the norm, really...

[Koa]

Is it not the norm now? Here it's slowly changing and it's highly doubtful that my generation will spend their whole life at the same workplace, but it's still absolutely normal for my parents' generation (my mum's been on that job since after I was born, my dad been on his job for like 25 years now, he spent more of his life in shifts than in normal rhythms) and maybe for some people younger than them...

[amuse]

i guess my parents' generation, yes - mine, no. so yeah, it still happens, i just don't see it very often anymore with people entering the work force...