the anguishes mooring

[the mooring]

my sadness moors on my anguishes mooring
no one rests me except the sighs,
which release from abroken heart
and sends a resounding call
to all my old delighted days,00
to all my ancient laghters,
and all my buried happinss


there nothing in my harsh life,
except little old memories
may make me alive
cause i live just for them



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hi guys iam anew member in this forum.... :cool:

i hope that you enjoy this small poem

and please.........please.........please...

tell me if there any grammatical or spelling mistakes because english language is not my native language......and i eager to write english poems :D
plus....
iwill be appreciated if you critisic my poem....

regards.... ;)

[Miranda]

I really like this poem - its kind of wistful. There are some mistakes in it but nothing that spoils its meaning. I changed a few of the words to make it read more easily and to correct the grammar - as in the second line where I put the word 'comfort' instead of 'no one rests me except the sighs'. You could also have 'nothing gives me rest except the sighs' But I feel a bit uncomfortable changing words in your poem because a poetry is such a personal thing, so I hope that you don't mind my changing them.

I really like the idea of the sighs which send a call to past days of happiness and I like the words 'delighted days' and 'ancient laughters' which speak of past joy. I like the last verse too and the idea of turning away from the reality of the present 'harsh life' that has nothing - no happiness or expectation - to the memories of the past that have become the reason for living. I think its a great poem and I encourage you to write more.

When you write a poem in English, I do not know why, but it is traditional to begin new each line with a capital letter. I just realised you might wonder why I had changed them all to capitals.


My sadness moors on my anguish,
No one comforts me, only the sighs
That escape from my broken heart,
Sending a resounding call
To all my delighted days,
To all my ancient laughters,
And all my buried happiness

There's nothing in my harsh life
Except little old memories,
That keep me alive,
Because I live just for them.

[the mooring]

my dear miranda really i dont know how to thank you
iam appreciate your passing and your wonder comment
and this is what i need and seek for.
i want some one like you to show me my mistakes in order to improve both my language and my english poems.Dont be a shy to change what ever you want ,even the tittle you can change it,becuase i am here to learn

thanks alot .....
regards

[amuse]

so...welcome :), and i like these lines:

no one rests me except the sighs,
...
...sends a resounding call

except little old memories
may make me alive
cause i live just for them
those last 3 lines are beautiful, you know.

[SmilesAF]

Welcome, this is a good piece. Perhaps this doesn't seem very helpful, buit i like the way the slightly rugged language cives it a special touch. it makes you think harder, as to what exactly it is you mena, and it gives the english language a new angle of perspective. Keep writing!

[the mooring]

amuse and smilesAF thanks alot for your passing and your comments on my humble poem