Ring

[TheFifthElement]

You are the ring of my sadness,
the cold curve of defeat.
You caused a melt in me,
took what you received,
moulded, shaped
and polished
until your image
reflected in my surface
with all trace of impurity
removed.
Oh how I bent,
how I bent
for you.

The design is flawed,
the band too plain,
my shine is never
bright enough for you.
I am too hard,
too soft,
too brittle,
too strong,
a little squashed
when nothing less than
a perfect circle will do.
I am too dented,
too bruised.

Will you put me
in a drawer,
collecting dust?
Throw me away?
Sell me to another
less exacting lover?
Will you melt me again?
Mould and reshape me,
make me new?
Or will you leave me doomed,
to live this circular existence,
encircling you?

[blazeofglory]

You are the ring of my sadness,
the cold curve of defeat.
You caused a melt in me,
took what you received,
moulded, shaped
and polished
until your image
reflected in my surface
with all trace of impurity
removed.
Oh how I bent,
how I bent
for you.

The design is flawed,
the band too plain,
my shine is never
bright enough for you.
I am too hard,
too soft,
too brittle,
too strong,
a little squashed
when nothing less than
a perfect circle will do.
I am too dented,
too bruised.

Will you put me
in a drawer,
collecting dust?
Throw me away?
Sell me to another
less exacting lover?
Will you melt me again?
Mould and reshape me,
make me new?
Or will you leave me doomed,
to live this circular existence,
encircling you?




We are a weaver of dreams
and of course we enjoy weaving them
For life is sweet in dreaming but bitter in living

We love thinking that we can live together
Togetherness is not a thing of naturalness
For we were bon alone and die alone

Dreams are dreams they cannot be realms of realities
Let us brace ourselves to live alone
For this aloneness is what beefs us up

We must live never setting our mind on an island of ivories
That is reality and we must live in the here and now
Not in there there

[PrinceMyshkin]

I'm blown away by how beautifully you sustained the governing image throughout this very graceful poem!

[dibyendra]

So nice Fifth ! Words are wonderfully weaved ! This is one of my favorite poem Fifth !

I really loved these lines from your poem


You caused a melt in me,
took what you received,
moulded, shaped
and polished
until your image
reflected in my surface
with all trace of impurity
removed.


The design is flawed,
the band too plain,
my shine is never
bright enough for you.




Will you put me
in a drawer,
collecting dust?
Throw me away?
Sell me to another
less exacting lover?
Will you melt me again?
Mould and reshape me,
make me new?
Or will you leave me doomed,
to live this circular existence,
encircling you?


Keep up your great work Fifth. :thumbs_up

[firefangled]

You are the ring of my sadness,
the cold curve of defeat.
You caused a melt in me,
took what you received,
moulded, shaped
and polished
until your image
reflected in my surface
with all trace of impurity
removed.
Oh how I bent,
how I bent
for you.





Another excellent one Fifth! S1 pulled me right in. I found myself reading this the first time from the wearer and the second time as the personified ring itself. Very well done.

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks guys, another 'train' poem! Perhaps if I ever retire to write full time I will have to live on the tracks :)

[symphony]

the ceding tone in this poem is beautiful, fifth.

[mazHur]

nice free flowing verse

[TheFifthElement]

thanks symphony & mazHur :)

[Sweets America]

Great poem! I love the different levels it contains, and I love the shape it takes on the page! Great work!

[Xillus_Xavier]

Very clever and very good poem.
I really liked how the piece is structured.

[TheFifthElement]

Thank you Xillus :)