PDA

View Full Version : The Divine Tragedy



mazHur
10-16-2007, 02:45 AM
The Divine Tragedy
by Mazhar Butt

Can I ask you a question my Lord,
A question which boggles my mind
And wrenches my heart
With every tick of the clock.
Well, since your grace has acceded
And given me leave to ask ,
Here I go:
Was the treatment you meted out
To our father Adam and his mate Eve
So grievously unbearable so as to
Attract your terrible wrath and impatience
In throwing them into this world
To suffer until doomsday?
With due apology I may say
You were not kind and merciful
In viewing just one simple mistake
On a single instance of disobedience
Nor it was fair of you to give them
A blanket to recurrently do the same sin-
And more- unashamedly on this earth.
It was not fair of you to treat them,
The perfection of whole nature
In such a cruel mode and manner;
You could have,if you wanted, forgiven them
If not you could have sent them to hell
Or if hell was not ready at that time
Or you hadn't got at the idea yet,
To waiting in the purgatory
Or, you could have exiled them to some other world
Where the sins they committed couldn't be repeated
My Lord, I think you erred in judgment
And took a reckless step, perhaps, I presume
At the instance of your sole advisers
None other than your army of angels.
May I say you did a great injustice to men
In ousting them from their birth place
And throwing them into this hell of earth
To suffer and die
You could have done better
To keep and love and save them
From imposed sufferings and circuitry of sins
Preventing them from turning into slaves of belly and below
In the far and near of this ghoulish earth of yours.
If Adam and Eve were apples of your eye
There was no need for you to clone them
To replicate them in billions
And thrust them into sinful lives
Replete with sufferings and some piety,though.
Wasn't it easy for you to plan differently
Easy for you easy for the humankind?
Was it your desire to have a fleet of human population
Engaged in all sorts of good and evil
simply to appease and make you happy?
Couldn't you rest content with one Adam
And One Eve in paradise?
Was it not possible for you to forgive them
For their first sin, sin simpliciter?
You could have decorated your paradise
And enriched it with human replicas
By simply pulversizing some of Adam's ribs
And converting them into Eves of all sorts
Without making them pass through
The pains and pangs and pleasures of biological burdens,
The curse of hunger, appetite, libido, satiation and orgasm
Oh, Lord, have you ever thought
Your haste has brought untold sufferings
To your beloved children
What you could do so simply and easily
With your touted mercy and magnificence
Remained undone for ununderstandable reasons
All you did may be fine in your own right
But then why these promises of deferred reward
In the hereafter?
Why this roar of punishment in the after-life
For things you ordained Satan to enforce
Upon your children?
Why, why all this tribulation
This undeserving treatment
To your dearest ones on earth-
Us, the Humans?

symphony
10-16-2007, 04:02 AM
A very beautiful idea/theme for a strong poem, MazHur. :thumbs_up
I especially liked these lines:

...
Preventing them from turning into slaves of belly and below
...
Without making them pass through
The pains and pangs and pleasures of biological burdens,
The curse of hunger, appetite, libido, satiation and orgasm
...

One note, though: I think "gracious" will be "Grace" in 5th line, and there's an extra 'was' in the 10th. And I'm not really sure if the uppercase is at all necessary in "Untold sufferings".
Another note: reading through some lines I had a feeling that the same things could be expressed more strongly... just my opinion though. I strongly recommend u not to take my word for it, and wait for the talents in here to comment. :)

Over all, i really enjoyed reading it. And again- a very strong theme u've got there.

mazHur
10-16-2007, 04:22 AM
A very beautiful idea/theme for a strong poem, MazHur. :thumbs_up
I especially liked these lines:


One note, though: I think "gracious" will be "Grace" in 5th line, and there's an extra 'was' in the 10th. And I'm not really sure if the uppercase is at all necessary in "Untold sufferings".
Another note: reading through some lines I had a feeling that the same things could be expressed more strongly... just my opinion though. I strongly recommend u not to take my word for it, and wait for the talents in here to comment. :)

Over all, i really enjoyed reading it. And again- a very strong theme u've got there.

Thanks, Symphony, for liking the poem. Yes, it ought to be 'grace' in the 5th line; 'was' in 10th line is superfluous; 'upper case' in untold suffering is a typo,
I agree the idea could have been expressed more strongly had English not been my second language. Why don't you become my 'teacher'? Lol

thanks again for your valued suggestions and pointing of errors. I will take care these don't creep in my upcoming book of verse.

love

symphony
10-16-2007, 06:56 AM
Thanks, Symphony, for liking the poem. Yes, it ought to be 'grace' in the 5th line; 'was' in 10th line is superfluous; 'upper case' in untold suffering is a typo,
I agree the idea could have been expressed more strongly had English not been my second language. Why don't you become my 'teacher'? Lol

*chokes on her coffee* :eek:
*cough* did I sound that authoritative?! I'm really sorry if I did! :brickwall 'Cuz I've got no command over poems (or english) at all! I just said what my little instinct told me when I read your poem in the above comment.

And since I'm a 17 year old south-asian kid with poor English, I guess you'd want a better 'teacher'. :lol:


I will take care these don't creep in my upcoming book of verse.
Wow, you've got a book coming? Thats great! :thumbs_up Let us know when it's out so we can all read it. :)

mazHur
10-16-2007, 07:25 AM
Hi symphony

If 'the child could be the father of the man'', why couldn't you be my teacher?

I thought age was just a number but,,,,,,,,you seem to think otherwise, don't you?

When it comesto age, I feel so sorry for Keats and Alexander the Great and so many other legends of the past which performed better than over-grown legends such as Byron, Blake or some Kings and Queens,,( you know atleast one such Queen)

Where in south asia are you situated? I'm sure you are a caucasian and not a Bengali.

Looking at your linguistic and poetic versatilility I can bet that will be Emily Dickinson or Elizabeth Barreet Browning of future!

And, yes, I deeply appreciated your comments and you don't have to feel sorry for anything. Infact, you did favor to this dreamer, this lotus eater!

love

symphony
10-16-2007, 07:59 AM
If 'the child could be the father of the man'', why couldn't you be my teacher? I thought age was just a number but,,,,,,,,you seem to think otherwise, don't you?
When it comesto age, I feel so sorry for Keats and Alexander the Great and so many other legends of the past which performed better than over-grown legends such as Byron, Blake or some Kings and Queens,,( you know atleast one such Queen)
But "wisdom comes with age" doesnt it? :) Not applicable for everyone, I know. I just didnt feel I'm yet among the not-applicable lot. Even then, if I get there someday (dreaming is good!) I'd like to think that I wont be among the ones for whom "wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone" is applicable. So, thanks for everything you said.

Oh speaking of the not-applicable lot, I know about many such people, poets, soldiers, king and queens.... But my all-time favorites among those will always be Sukanto Bhattacharya, a bengali poet, who died at 21, and died a poet. He's one of my favorite poets and I cant help mentioning him at every small relevance possible. *smile*



Where in south asia are you situated? I'm sure you are a caucasian and not a Bengali.

I'm a bengali. Born and brought up in Bangladesh. :)

mazHur
10-16-2007, 08:27 AM
Nice to know you are from 'the land of the golden fibre''. You are not Bengali but a terrific Bengali with intellect much ahead of her age !

I don't think wisdom comes with age; only senility does.
Every child is wise enough to teach wisdom to his parents; the poor parents only learn experience with age !

FYI I am a Kashmiri from Indian Kashmir,,,,a distant relative of Allama Iqbal.
BTW do you know where the first chief justice of United Bengal came from?

I have not read Sukanto Bhattachariya but I will. The only Bengali poet I've read is Qazi Nazrul-Islam. He was really a great revolutionary poet.

Do you listen to Roona Laila? I liked her songs when she began singing at around 14.

best

symphony
10-16-2007, 09:12 AM
Nice to know you are from 'the land of the golden fibre''. You are not Bengali but a terrific Bengali with intellect much ahead of her age !
Why thank you!!
:D



FYI I am a Kashmiri from Indian Kashmir,,,,a distant relative of Allama Iqbal.
BTW do you know where the first chief justice of United Bengal came from?
You mean, before '47? Erm... Sir Impey?...Rajendra Prasad?...I'm afraid I'm not sure...
And hey, are you talking about the poet Iqbal? He really was something. I havent read any of his works, but i know he's a legend.


The only Bengali poet I've read is Qazi Nazrul-Islam. He was really a great revolutionary poet.

Do you listen to Roona Laila? I liked her songs when she began singing at around 14.

I adore (might as well say worship) Nazrul, he's our national poet, I respect him as much as I respect Tagore, though some may say Tagore was of higher esteem.
And yes, I like Roona Layla's ghazals very much. :) (I even try to make my voice like hers when i'm singing ghazals! :lol: )

mazHur
10-16-2007, 09:43 AM
Hi symphony, Dhanebad !
may I call you sunderi? You are really brainy and intelligent.

First ever chief justice of colonial bengal was a non-bengali,,, a forefather of mine, a Kashmiri !

I suggest you have a look at Iqbal's works but again you will not enjoy it as it is in Urdu and Persian and focused mainly on Muslims. Anyhow, you can try his poems on nature , nationalism and socialism, etc
I first read Nazrul islam in school aroung 1968 or so and was greatly impressed
Other classic Urdu poets worth reading are: Faiz, Faraz, Ghalib, Meer, Daag, Jigar, Zauq, Chakbast, Akber, Nazeer, etc but naturally you wont be able to enjoy the translation, anyway

symphony
10-16-2007, 10:50 AM
Intelligent as i may seem, i dont know persian or urdu :p . So it'll be very helpful if u have a link where i can find the translated versions of the works u mentioned above.

BTW, i thought "sunderi" means 'beautiful' in both bengali and hindi! And if being intelligent mean one has got to be beautiful as well, i may disappoint u! ;)

mazHur
10-16-2007, 11:04 AM
Okay, I will send you some good poetry links regarding poets of the east but where?

'sunderi'' is anything that's beautiful, not just the ostensible looks.
I have many many Bengalese around here in Karachi and I can imagine how you look---in your thinking? But, frankly, ''the beauty of Bangala'' (Hoosn-e-bangala) has been hailed for centuries as one the best in the world !
If your are not 'sunderi' then what are you? A champa, a gulab, or a chambeli?
I don't mind whatever you are as long as you are you.

symphony
10-16-2007, 11:11 AM
*raising one eyebrow* hey how old are u?!! 'cuz that sounded very much like flirting!! :lol:
haha! okay u may call me whatever that comes to your mind. (for inspiration: one of my friends call me a "hanuman" :lol: )

and the links... u may post it here or u can PM me. whichever u choose.



and yay i wont post any more today! i dont want to spoil my wonderful no. of posts so soon! :D