Lote-Tree
10-12-2007, 10:44 AM
M-Ji
I suppose you had no illusions about love nor did you wish for a miracle from above. You did your duty for Tradition and Time; in your heart it may have been a crime. But you did the deed though it made you bleed; you did the act to fulfill the pact and he robbed you of your girlhood and he ended forever your childhood…
And you let him enter through the delta of your soul's myriad of openings so that he may explore your heights and you let him search the folds and crevices of your secretive inner places so that he may know you. But in his searching he never found you: The girl with the school bag on her shoulders; the girl who still yearns in dreams to be there to explore her limits; to find herself amongst the hopefuls; to realize her beginnings, her middle and her end; and to unchain herself from the Plato's "Myth of the cave", to come out from the shadows, from her heart's lonely hiding places, to wash herself clean of Eve's sins, to close shut her "Pandoras's Box" of uncertainty.
But he never found you:
The girl whose ambition was thwarted, whose hopes forever dashed, whose desire unsatisfied, whose love unrealized and who still remains at large, wandering in your adult psyche, in your adult mind; who still shows up in your frequent dreams and haunts your daily imaginings like the ghost of the past; like a shadow-self of your unrealized Potential.
But he never found you:
The girl whose words would have been valuable as gold and whose signature would have been worth millions. The girl who still comes in the moments of reflective thought to show you her innocent eyes in the reflection in the mirror, always questioning the nature of her life.
But he did not find that girl:
Because he was not looking for that girl even though the girl still stares through the adult eyes on to a face that can never understand her thoughts nor grasp the depth of her soul nor can he ever imagine the dreams of her longings or hear the screams of her yearnings because he does not look for that girl because he is not seeking that girl - the girl behind the mask, the girl who asks the unanswerable question: “Why am I here and why this path chosen”?
Because he does not look for that girl he does not see, and that’s why he is unable to answer he, he is unable to speak. Because our needs are different our deeds are uncertain and because we search not for the same things because we always want different things.
“For nature of being a Man” he tells you
“is, that he can only come into your life to rob you of your innocence; to steal your pride, to change you, to transform you into an adult, into a women of dignity, into a women of morality and finally put you on the pedestal of glorious motherhood.”
And you look at his smiling face; his teeth showing like piano keys and you smile back, a smile of sadness that he can’t recognize or grasp.
“But as a man” he tells you
“as man a he can only take. He can only cause pain. And as women you can only give, as women you can only receive, as women you can offer healing to the open wound so that we feel new again. This is the way things are. This is the nature of things. But in that giving there is also a taking and in the receiving there is also a giving. We are bound and entangled together like the roots of a banyan tree in a lifelong symbiosis“.
But you know already the prognosis: you still struggle to be free...
I suppose you had no illusions about love nor did you wish for a miracle from above. You did your duty for Tradition and Time; in your heart it may have been a crime. But you did the deed though it made you bleed; you did the act to fulfill the pact and he robbed you of your girlhood and he ended forever your childhood…
And you let him enter through the delta of your soul's myriad of openings so that he may explore your heights and you let him search the folds and crevices of your secretive inner places so that he may know you. But in his searching he never found you: The girl with the school bag on her shoulders; the girl who still yearns in dreams to be there to explore her limits; to find herself amongst the hopefuls; to realize her beginnings, her middle and her end; and to unchain herself from the Plato's "Myth of the cave", to come out from the shadows, from her heart's lonely hiding places, to wash herself clean of Eve's sins, to close shut her "Pandoras's Box" of uncertainty.
But he never found you:
The girl whose ambition was thwarted, whose hopes forever dashed, whose desire unsatisfied, whose love unrealized and who still remains at large, wandering in your adult psyche, in your adult mind; who still shows up in your frequent dreams and haunts your daily imaginings like the ghost of the past; like a shadow-self of your unrealized Potential.
But he never found you:
The girl whose words would have been valuable as gold and whose signature would have been worth millions. The girl who still comes in the moments of reflective thought to show you her innocent eyes in the reflection in the mirror, always questioning the nature of her life.
But he did not find that girl:
Because he was not looking for that girl even though the girl still stares through the adult eyes on to a face that can never understand her thoughts nor grasp the depth of her soul nor can he ever imagine the dreams of her longings or hear the screams of her yearnings because he does not look for that girl because he is not seeking that girl - the girl behind the mask, the girl who asks the unanswerable question: “Why am I here and why this path chosen”?
Because he does not look for that girl he does not see, and that’s why he is unable to answer he, he is unable to speak. Because our needs are different our deeds are uncertain and because we search not for the same things because we always want different things.
“For nature of being a Man” he tells you
“is, that he can only come into your life to rob you of your innocence; to steal your pride, to change you, to transform you into an adult, into a women of dignity, into a women of morality and finally put you on the pedestal of glorious motherhood.”
And you look at his smiling face; his teeth showing like piano keys and you smile back, a smile of sadness that he can’t recognize or grasp.
“But as a man” he tells you
“as man a he can only take. He can only cause pain. And as women you can only give, as women you can only receive, as women you can offer healing to the open wound so that we feel new again. This is the way things are. This is the nature of things. But in that giving there is also a taking and in the receiving there is also a giving. We are bound and entangled together like the roots of a banyan tree in a lifelong symbiosis“.
But you know already the prognosis: you still struggle to be free...