missed perceptions

[CdnReader]

.

missed perceptions

two days ago
i ran into an old lover
and i fell in love with him all over again
(like i always do)

i smiled
inside and out
when he unexpectedly appeared on my doorstep
and my skin tingled in anticipation
as i invited him in

he welcomed me into his embrace
(like he always does)
and it felt like i belonged there
(i don’t)
it felt like a promise of something more
(it isn’t)
it felt like he loved me
(he doesn’t)

.
cdn/01jun06
.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I wish you could find something ironic, more open or ambiguous instead of that last parenthetical remark. He doesn't lacks any sense of mystery or of the hope against hope that it implied by the earlier dialogue between the former lover's actions and your interior cautioning yourself not to believe him.

[Granny5]

I always like your work because it evokes memories and feelings I've had in the past, and sometimes still. I like the last line, I guess because I've been there.

[barbara0207]

I'd go with Granny here. I had to smile when I read the last line. What a dry remark! I think it's better than looking for irony because it just fits.

[dibyendra]

Such a nice remembrances Cdn ! I really loved this poem.

I liked these lines Cdn

and my skin tingled in anticipation
as i invited him in

and last paragraph especially in which I especially loved parenthetical remarks.


he welcomed me into his embrace
(like he always does)
and it felt like i belonged there
(i don’t)
it felt like a promise of something more
(it isn’t)
it felt like he loved me
(he doesn’t)

Great ! :thumbs_up

[CdnReader]

Thanks, all of you, for your comments.

Jer, I like it the way it is. I like the finality of it....the forcing of the truth onto the narrator....and her clear acceptance of that truth.

[Sweets America]

It is strange, at first I agreed with Jer, and now that I have reread your poem, I think I actually like the ending the way it is. It's sad, and the 'he doesn't' is a real closure, strong, clear, and definitive. It's scary, in a way, how strongly this truth strikes the speaker.

[SleepyWitch]

i like the finality and realism of the last lines, too. I've been there and, seriously, anything other than he doesn't would be self-deception :)