veggieboarder
10-07-2007, 01:36 PM
Transparent
I sit here peering out of two ports looking at a world I once knew. I stare but a slight glare obstructs my view. Trapped by this motionless body my soul screams to get out. Drunken by the pain my host remains still. I pound on the ports yelling for someone to hear me. “Notice me, please let me out.” A small voice whispers “why do you want to go out there? Just so you can get hurt again? So you can be trampled on?” Tick,Tock,Tick,Tock silenced. How long must I stare out these ports? I’m getting sea sick. There’s a fire in the cabin. Smoke inhalation will begin soon. My ship’s sinking throw me a life preserver. Cold. It’s room temperature but yet I’m shivering. Hypothermia is setting in, my body is shutting down. Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Find me! Find me! Find me! Find me! PLEASE FIND ME!!!! I’ve never been this trapped. Stuck!!! Locked away!!!! I’ve slipped into a coma but everyone sees me awake. I’m not conscious but the world plays on. They say a coma is the body’s way of numbing the pain making it easier to bear. I hate this coma I hate this pain. If you’ve never experienced true pain then you can never experience true joy. Ecstasy, is it worth it? YES!! That’s why I’m here. I wish there was a listener that could hear. I wish there was a reader that could see. But the only way you can hear or see is to be. What would you do if everything you’ve ever known to be was false? Would you give up? Would you feel worthless? You have no right to feel worthless!! This isn’t your fault. You are a good person. Unfortunately things in this world happen. Unfortunate things happen to good people as well as to bad people. Dealing with your poker hand and making the most out of what you have will ultimately win you the pot. So if life is a poker game? Why are you so Transparent? Why are you playing showing your cards to all the players? Because life isn’t a game!! For everyone who portrays it as one is shallow. They have a non complex mind. Their brain patterns are that of someone who can only focus on winning and losing. Life isn’t about winning or losing it’s about living. THE MOST VALUABLE THING YOU HAVE IS YOUR LIFE!!! BUT IT’S NOT YOURS. You’ve leased your life. You signed the papers, you promised that you would do regular maintenance, you promised you would pay for the repairs, you promised you would honor the terms of the lease. So why it is that something that is so tangible is intangible? I’m in the maintenance shop right now talking to all the techs. They are finding oil leaks and broken gaskets and torn CV Boots……. BUT GUESS WHAT THEY ARE LYING….. People don’t have oil leaks and broken gaskets or CV Boots… So why listen to someone who lies? Why entertain? Because……. Because of the opportunity…….. What opportunity? The opportunity that chooses to present its self and it’s up to you to choose, take or refuse….. HMMMMMM…. Well maybe I’ll ponder these thoughts for a while. I’ll just stare out the ports, yes the ports with the glare and ponder what I see. I’m safe here. But I know that one day I’ll step foot out of this ship hopefully I’ll be ready. But as for now I’m safe.
I sit here peering out of two ports looking at a world I once knew. I stare but a slight glare obstructs my view. Trapped by this motionless body my soul screams to get out. Drunken by the pain my host remains still. I pound on the ports yelling for someone to hear me. “Notice me, please let me out.” A small voice whispers “why do you want to go out there? Just so you can get hurt again? So you can be trampled on?” Tick,Tock,Tick,Tock silenced. How long must I stare out these ports? I’m getting sea sick. There’s a fire in the cabin. Smoke inhalation will begin soon. My ship’s sinking throw me a life preserver. Cold. It’s room temperature but yet I’m shivering. Hypothermia is setting in, my body is shutting down. Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Find me! Find me! Find me! Find me! PLEASE FIND ME!!!! I’ve never been this trapped. Stuck!!! Locked away!!!! I’ve slipped into a coma but everyone sees me awake. I’m not conscious but the world plays on. They say a coma is the body’s way of numbing the pain making it easier to bear. I hate this coma I hate this pain. If you’ve never experienced true pain then you can never experience true joy. Ecstasy, is it worth it? YES!! That’s why I’m here. I wish there was a listener that could hear. I wish there was a reader that could see. But the only way you can hear or see is to be. What would you do if everything you’ve ever known to be was false? Would you give up? Would you feel worthless? You have no right to feel worthless!! This isn’t your fault. You are a good person. Unfortunately things in this world happen. Unfortunate things happen to good people as well as to bad people. Dealing with your poker hand and making the most out of what you have will ultimately win you the pot. So if life is a poker game? Why are you so Transparent? Why are you playing showing your cards to all the players? Because life isn’t a game!! For everyone who portrays it as one is shallow. They have a non complex mind. Their brain patterns are that of someone who can only focus on winning and losing. Life isn’t about winning or losing it’s about living. THE MOST VALUABLE THING YOU HAVE IS YOUR LIFE!!! BUT IT’S NOT YOURS. You’ve leased your life. You signed the papers, you promised that you would do regular maintenance, you promised you would pay for the repairs, you promised you would honor the terms of the lease. So why it is that something that is so tangible is intangible? I’m in the maintenance shop right now talking to all the techs. They are finding oil leaks and broken gaskets and torn CV Boots……. BUT GUESS WHAT THEY ARE LYING….. People don’t have oil leaks and broken gaskets or CV Boots… So why listen to someone who lies? Why entertain? Because……. Because of the opportunity…….. What opportunity? The opportunity that chooses to present its self and it’s up to you to choose, take or refuse….. HMMMMMM…. Well maybe I’ll ponder these thoughts for a while. I’ll just stare out the ports, yes the ports with the glare and ponder what I see. I’m safe here. But I know that one day I’ll step foot out of this ship hopefully I’ll be ready. But as for now I’m safe.