Feeling Tired

[TheFifthElement]

Feeling Tired

There’s an ache hiding
somewhere in my left elbow.
I seek it out,
lean into it,
devious ache
it keeps me awake,
it keeps me awake,

and though my eyes may close
now and then, and the words
may blur, a little, on the screen,
and everything is warm,
soft and warm,
I cannot sleep,
not yet,
later,

sleep

must wait,

but my heart is heavy
in my chest, and
it beats
slower…
and slower…

and slower still,

and time is slow,

and the light is slow,

and my mind is slow,

and so,

I seek out that ache,
it keeps me awake,

it keeps me

awake.

[dibyendra]

Wow, I loved this poem ! I liked the way you expressed Fifth. I liked most when I came to the mid section of your poem.



I cannot sleep,
not yet,
later,

sleep

must wait,

but my heart is heavy
in my chest, and
it beats
slower…
and slower…

and slower still,

and time is slow,

and the light is slow,

and my mind is slow,

and so,

I seek out that ache,
it keeps me awake,

it keeps me

awake.


:thumbs_up

[Granny5]

Fifth, this is really good.

[CdnReader]

I love the repetition at the end. Almost like a lullaby. :)

[Pendragon]

Nice. Like someone who is about to die, or fears they are, concentrating on the pain so they can hang on until help comes. Brilliant! And centered would form your famous plyon, I'm willing to bet!

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/Dale.gif

[firefangled]

I can add no more than what has been said. I really enjoyed this one.

[TheFifthElement]

Thank you all :)

[symphony]

Heh makes me remember my "Nervousness". :p
Says exactly how u feel & shares the raw feeling inside u, which makes it a vivid poem. Very nice, Fifth.

[TheFifthElement]

Heh makes me remember my "Nervousness". :p
Says exactly how u feel & shares the raw feeling inside u, which makes it a vivid poem. Very nice, Fifth.


Yes, I too remember your nervousness :)

Thanks for your comments symphony. I really was very tired yesterday (and today!)