Is Infatuation Good or Bad

[RoCKiTcZa]

While making random searches on one of our school's computers, I found out that some of the kids in my school wanted to get rid of infatuation. This made me wonder, is infatuation a good thing or a bad thing? Lately I have been infatuated with quite a number of people, and I don't believe it's wrong at all, for it gives me "inspiration" and hope in things I do.

What do you think?

[NikolaiI]

How can it be bad? Infatuation and being in love is paramount to a successful relationship (at least, a romantic one). So by it's nature it's good. I am in love with more than 15 people currently. I think it builds warm and nurturing relationships to be in love with someone.

It could be a problem, but I would say that's more of how you deal with it. For instance, if you grow too dependent on someone, that can be bad.

Being in love with someone who is not in love with you is tricky business. Still, the "thing" of "infatuation" or "being in love" is not a bad thing.

As I think Red said, being in love is not love. It's a feeling, love is an action.

It's all about attachment. If we're in love, we might say we're attached.- being in love, being if you think about someone, and if you love them, and if they bring you lightness and flutter of heart (haha, cliche? but that's what it is.)

So you're in love with someone and you want them to be attached to you. Well, that's probably going to make you unhappy most of the time. But you just have to deal with the unhappiness- and what I think about being in love, is that you enjoy your feelings, but let them pass. As one very famous Buddhist master said, do not create attachment. This doesn't mean you try to have no attachment, because there's always attachment. It only means you don't create it intentionally, and you let it pass when it's there. The same thing for being in love, and for the suffering you might experience, at not "owning" who you want to "own."

A very deep thing Nietzsche once said was something like this: the fallacy of believing that putting someone in your confidence puts them in yours. This is everything about attachment and infatuation.

[papayahed]

How can it be bad? Infatuation and being in love is paramount to a successful relationship (at least, a romantic one). So by it's nature it's good. I am in love with more than 15 people currently. I think it builds warm and nurturing relationships to be in love with someone.


I agree, it's not bad until you let it get out of control a la fatal Attraction, besides I don't think it's really possible to get rid of infatuation, that's like saying "Let's get rid of sleepiness" - it's all part of the human experience.

[Granny5]

What are the kids in your school going to do, set up the thought police?
Every human is infatuated with someone or something at some point. It either developes or it doesn't. No harm, no foul. Unless it turns into a fatal attraction like papayahed said. But that's not infatuation, that's mental illiness.

[Virgil]

I must be an old geezer. I'm amazed at the things kids ponder today. I don't recall any such discussion or some of the other discussions that the younger folks have here on lit net. For a change, I'm happy to be old. :)

[NikolaiI]

I would have come to pondering this at any age after Jane Austen.

[SleepyWitch]

I am in love with more than 15 people currently.
15? wow. I thought there was something wrong with me because I have a crush on two guys (not counting celebrity crushes).
infatuations are fun, unless you take them too seriously or make a fool of yourself

[TheFifthElement]

Like anything, it's not necessarily good or bad, it depends what you do with it.

[Bakiryu]

I would like to get rid of infatuation (and all my emotions as well) It has only made me suffer. Everywhere I go, people only care for looks, and I haven't really found anyone.

It's just a joke, based on appearance.

[Lote-Tree]

I would like to get rid of infatuation (and all my emotions as well) It has only made me suffer. Everywhere I go, people only care for looks, and I haven't really found anyone.

It's just a joke, based on appearance.

Be yourself Baki...the You who dreams the most beautiful of dreams...Who is a Guardian Angel :D

[NikolaiI]

People fight, they scream and yell at each other, I've seen it. I always thought it was so stupid. In my life- as a child- did I ever act like this? No. I never did. I embarrassed myself at school in different ways, and it was humiliating, but I was never as cruel and malicious as I've seen some people be. People that I love, and that love me.

God, nothing's as painful as that. I will quote Devendra now:

"Life is tough, and
Love is rough
For the man who just can't seem to ever get enough."

It's like that.

[amalia1985]

Many times, infatuation can become a motive to persist on achieving your goal. The problem surfaces when infatuation is turned into madness.

[NikolaiI]

Many times, infatuation can become a motive to persist on achieving your goal. The problem surfaces when infatuation is turned into madness.

Enjoy feelings of love; but let them pass. Suffer the feelings of pain when love is inachievable, these will pass also.

[amalia1985]

Certainly. The trick is for them to "pass" without damaging one's sanity. And I have seen this happening a lot.

[Bakiryu]

People fight, they scream and yell at each other, I've seen it. I always thought it was so stupid. .

Yeah, usually my friends get into these catfights, just because of some bloke or other.

I wonder how women can screech so high, my ears hurt. (and why doesn't it work me too? :sick: )

[Koa]

15? wow. I thought there was something wrong with me because I have a crush on two guys (not counting celebrity crushes).
infatuations are fun, unless you take them too seriously or make a fool of yourself

I'm "in love" with two at the moment.

They're both gay. :sick:

This sucks because it erases the word 'hope' completely :sick:

Other than that, infatuations are ok. I only wished they turned out right once every 25 years...

[SleepyWitch]

I'm "in love" with two at the moment.

They're both gay. :sick:

This sucks because it erases the word 'hope' completely :sick:

Other than that, infatuations are ok. I only wished they turned out right once every 25 years...

hahahaha :lol: "once every 25 years" :p poor Koa.
my number one crush is definitely not gay. the funny thing is I fall in love with him all over every single time I meet him. it's extremely annoying, especially since I've known him for 6 years.. it would be so much easier just to stay in love and not go *gasp, stammer, cough, blush* 20 times a week. what's more, my friend fancies him, too, and whenever he's around she totally loses all power of speech and just goes. "...."

[Lily Adams]

Infatuation is called goodhurt. (It's Newspeak, ha ha.) So I say it's both.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwww, goodhurt.

[Reccura]

Hmm.. I really don't know. I hate it when I'm infatuated with someone, then finds out he has a girlfriend or something like that-- like Koa said, it erases the hope completely. :bawling: .... soo... I still don't know if this is good or bad. Half of me thinks it is bad. Although when you're tired, this can be good too. ;)

[Sweets America]

Well, it depends, I understand that infatuation can make one feel good and have sweet butterflies in the stomach, but, in the meantime...I have a great friend who is greatly infatuated with me, and he thought it would hurt him too much if we continued being friends, so he just left me. That is terrible. :bawling:

[Wyoecho]

Infatuation is a form of shallowness. Another word for it is lust. I think that people are lustful by nature. Therefore, if you are infatuated with someone then you simply desire them without actually knowing much about their real personality and behavior.

[RoCKiTcZa]

Indeed. I just found out something, though--

Some people do not really appreciate it when someone is infatuated with them. That's what really disappoints me right now.

[Sweets America]

It's nice when someone is infatuated with you, but not when it makes the person miserable because you cannot be with them. It hurts you when you love the person, but not this way, and you see this person hurt.

[Chava]

Infatuation is a form of shallowness. Another word for it is lust. I think that people are lustful by nature. Therefore, if you are infatuated with someone then you simply desire them without actually knowing much about their real personality and behavior.

Okay i'm going to disagree with this... Other than that, I think we are always slightly in love with our best friends. And that doesn't have anything in particular to do with lust. I can be consequently dumbfounded when i meet a friend in particular, and though i have interest in him relationship wise, i absolutely adore him :)

[SleepyWitch]

Infatuation is a form of shallowness. Another word for it is lust. I think that people are lustful by nature. Therefore, if you are infatuated with someone then you simply desire them without actually knowing much about their real personality and behavior.

I totally disagree with that. why would anyone who's shallow waste lots of feelings on someone they know they probably can't be with?

is lust good or evil :D? ;) :p

[RoCKiTcZa]

Lust? Definitely evil. Holy books say so, and so do I.

Infatuation is natural; it can't be prevented. But I think it can be eliminated by being reasonable.

[Bakiryu]

is lust good or evil :D? ;) :p

Both, of course.

It hurts some people but it enables other to get free things, like dinner and sometimes jewelry! :p

JK! lust is certainly bad, it distracts us from life.

[RoCKiTcZa]

It hurts some people but it enables other to get free things, like dinner and sometimes jewelry! :p

:eek: Is that what you do?!

[Chava]

Lust? Definitely evil. Holy books say so, and so do I.

Infatuation is natural; it can't be prevented. But I think it can be eliminated by being reasonable.

How is lust less natural than infatuation? I think both are fine, and i wouldn't describe either as evil...

[RoCKiTcZa]

Lust is not evil? Why yes, perhaps, if not displayed or given much attention to. :)

Up to now I still have no idea as to what I should answer my own poll! :blush: Infatuation has never gotten me anywhere lately!

[Bakiryu]

:eek: Is that what you do?!

:lol: Am I guilty if I say no? Well, maybe sometimes....just to go to a show I wanted to see or something.

[dramasnot6]

There is nothing wrong with infatuation, you just have to be careful about how you act on it.

[dramasnot6]

Oh, and lust keeps the species in good numbers! :p

[Sorceress]

Who suffer infatuation the most?
Male or Female?

[*Classic*Charm*]

Infatuation is a form of shallowness. Another word for it is lust.

I disagree. I believe one can be infatuated with another in a completely non-sexual way, and thus with a person of the same gender in a non-homosexual way.