Dandelions

[TheFifthElement]

I wrote this for MY BLOG. I think it's a bit rubbish, because it's something I wrote on the train. Is it rubbish? You decide...


Dandelions

I try to hold you
but you float away
like a dandelion clock
caught in the wind.
Scattered, spinning little angels
disappear in bits and pieces,
blue eyes here, freckles there...

...I should know by now
that poems I start on the train
will never be finished,
they float from my reach
like dandelion clocks
caught in the wind.
But perhaps
from those scattered seeds
other poems may grow,
and one day they too
will lift and float,
like dandelion clocks
caught in the wind.



It is slightly different from the version on MY BLOG.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I like it - a lot! It has that somewhat unpremeditated feel that I cherish at times.

[firefangled]

I wrote this for MY BLOG. I think it's a bit rubbish, because it's something I wrote on the train. Is it rubbish? You decide...


Dandelions

I try to hold you
but you float away
like a dandelion clock
caught in the wind.
Scattered, spinning little angels
disappear in bits and pieces,
blue eyes here, freckles there...

...I should know by now
that poems I start on the train
will never be finished,
they float from my reach
like dandelion clocks
caught in the wind.
But perhaps
from those scattered seeds
other poems may grow,
and one day they too
will lift and float,
like dandelion clocks
caught in the wind.



It is slightly different from the version on MY BLOG.

I agree with Prince. These poems are the ones that almost wwrite themselves (not to detract from your efforts). I like the way you start with the actual unfinished poem. I enjoyed this very much, Fifth.

[quasimodo1]

To theFifthElement; Written on train or not, this is a fine poem, and could have been written on a desk or cruise ship. Sometimes the setting for your writing is seredipitously very usefull. quasi

[Granny5]

I wrote this for MY BLOG. I think it's a bit rubbish, because it's something I wrote on the train. Is it rubbish? You decide...


Dandelions

I try to hold you
but you float away
like a dandelion clock
caught in the wind.
Scattered, spinning little angels
disappear in bits and pieces,
blue eyes here, freckles there...

...I should know by now
that poems I start on the train
will never be finished,
they float from my reach
like dandelion clocks
caught in the wind.
But perhaps
from those scattered seeds
other poems may grow,
and one day they too
will lift and float,
like dandelion clocks
caught in the wind.



It is slightly different from the version on MY BLOG.

Fifth, I think this is a beautiful poem.

[TheFifthElement]

Thanks guys - you are all very kind :D

[Lote-Tree]

Thanks guys - you are all very kind :D

So now no more self-depreciating :D

[symphony]

Loved it, Fifth, esp. the last four lines are \^/O\^/ .

[Virgil]

Perhaps a bit rubbish, but this image is very tantalizing: "like a dandelion clock/caught in the wind." I like that a lot. Save it for a future poem.