Just a thought....

[dibyendra]

Religion,
no matter what we follow,
speaks the common voice,
only in different forms,
is a philosophy to lead our human life.

God,
no matter what we imagine,
is the supreme being
and the creator of the Universe and everything.
But in reality, maybe vague,
which is out of scope of human understanding.

Human,
no matter how we relate each other,
we are just a living being,
built with flesh and bone,
covered all these by different coloured skin,
having blood coloured red within.

Just a thought.....

This world -
could have become a common place -
if there would be no discriminations -
in the name of God, religion, color, and race.
What this world would be -
if there would be no human made boundaries ?
If there would be no hate upon each other
and everyone living just like brothers and sisters,
there would be no more bloodshed and fears.

Just an another thought....
Imagine -
the walls are breaking;
this world becoming a common place for all;
those dead lands are turning green again;
equal opportunities for everyone;
people living together in perfect harmony...


Think that-
in the end...
with empty hands,
what's yours and what's mine,
everything we have is everything we leave here behind.

[CdnReader]

Well done, Dibyendra. I like this very much. :)

[dibyendra]

Well done, Dibyendra. I like this very much. :)

Thank you Cdn for your quick comment. I'm very happy that you liked this poem.

[godhelpme2]

Excellent, not only for the language
but more importantly for the grandly beautiful mind!!!

[Granny5]

What a lovely poem, Dibyendra. Thank you for sharing.

[dibyendra]

Excellent, not only for the language
but more importantly for the grandly beautiful mind!!!

Thank you so much god for being so nice to me and for your kind words. Thank you for appreciating this poem so much !


What a lovely poem, Dibyendra. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you Granny for your comment and appreciation ! I'm glad that you loved this poem.

[symphony]

U've got some strong points planted in there, with a strong closing line. May be a little touch here and there, to round up the already-very-good poem, and it'll be an excellent one. :)

U've chosen a great theme to work on. :thumbs_up And once these thoughts start gripping ur mind, there's no stopping it, these are thoughts that stimulate minds the most and keep coming back, so I think it will not be awry of me to expect more of these "sudden thoughts" from u? :) If not, I look forward to it. :)

[dibyendra]

U've got some strong points planted in there, with a strong closing line. May be a little touch here and there, to round up the already-very-good poem, and it'll be an excellent one. :)

U've chosen a great theme to work on. :thumbs_up And once these thoughts start gripping ur mind, there's no stopping it, these are thoughts that stimulate minds the most and keep coming back, so I think it will not be awry of me to expect more of these "sudden thoughts" from u? :) If not, I look forward to it. :)

Oh thanks Symph for your valuable comment ! I'm very happy to hear good comments from many people here in Literature Network Forum.

Yes, I'll definitely work on it again covering much more thing in the coming days.

Hoping to hear more suggestion from more people here in this forum. :)

[Pendragon]

Beautiful! And a strong finishing line! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/DaMan.gif

[Miss^Love]

woow

great . . very good friend . . it's enjoyable

i like it :)


thanks

[dibyendra]

Beautiful! And a strong finishing line! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/DaMan.gif

Many thanks Pen for your comment Pen! I'm more than happy after hearing your comment stating this poem as 'Beautful'. Thank you so much for your time Pen.



woow

great . . very good friend . . it's enjoyable

i like it :)


thanks

Thanks Miss for your comment. I'm glad that you liked this poem and enjoyed it. Thank you for your time on reading this poem.

[dibyendra]

After hearing so many comments, I thought that adding few things which were ringing in my head would make this poem a bit more worthy. Your suggestions and comments will be highly appreciated.

Update has been done in this thread at #1. So, please read the first post on this thread.

Thank you !

[ampoule]

A very thought provoking poem Diby, one that might help us make better choices today. Thank you.

[dibyendra]

A very thought provoking poem Diby, one that might help us make better choices today. Thank you.

Wow ! Thank you amp for your kind words.

[dibyendra]

Thank you all for being so kind to me and reading this poem. I'm glad to get so many comments from you all. Thank you so much !

[dibyendra]

I just thought to make a change in last paragraph with some addition to it.

From this paragraph

Think that-
in the end...
what's yours and what's mine,
everything we have is everything we leave here behind.

to


Think that-
in the end...
with empty hands,
what's yours and what's mine,
everything we have is everything we leave here behind.

[blazeofglory]

Religion,
no matter what we follow,
speaks the common voice,
only in different forms,
is a philosophy to lead our human life.

God,
no matter what we imagine,
is the supreme being
and the creator of the Universe and everything.
But in reality, maybe vague,
which is out of scope of human understanding.

Human,
no matter how we relate each other,
we are just a living being,
built with flesh and bone,
covered all these by different coloured skin,
having blood coloured red within.

Just a thought.....

This world -
could have become a common place -
if there would be no discriminations -
in the name of God, religion, color, and race.
What this world would be -
if there would be no human made boundaries ?
If there would be no hate upon each other
and everyone living just like brothers and sisters,
there would be no more bloodshed and fears.

Just an another thought....
Imagine -
the walls are breaking;
this world becoming a common place for all;
those dead lands are turning green again;
equal opportunities for everyone;
people living together in perfect harmony...

Think that-
in the end...
what's yours and what's mine,
everything we have is everything we leave here behind.

Dibeyndra,

These lines of yours are really absrobing,

Human,
no matter how we relate each other,
we are just a living being,
built with flesh and bone,
covered all these by different coloured skin,
having blood coloured red within.

Indeed, what we call differences are skin-deep or on the surface only and deep down we are one and the same. We are all have the same blood, breathe the same air, and share the same earth. It is only in our feelings we are different not in substance .

I too am from Nepal, and may I know which place you came from in Nepal?
As to me, I reside in Sinamangal, I think you know the place.

[dibyendra]

Dibeyndra,

These lines of yours are really absrobing,

Human,
no matter how we relate each other,
we are just a living being,
built with flesh and bone,
covered all these by different coloured skin,
having blood coloured red within.

Indeed, what we call differences are skin-deep or on the surface only and deep down we are one and the same. We are all have the same blood, breathe the same air, and share the same earth. It is only in our feelings we are different not in substance .

I too am from Nepal, and may I know which place you came from in Nepal?
As to me, I reside in Sinamangal, I think you know the place.

Thanks Blaze for your comment. I agree on what you have written. I always wonder why the human made religion, race, GOD created such a havoc in this world. I wish if people could start a new step to make this world a better place to live.

And yes Blaze, I'm from Nepal. I stay near by you on Imadole, Lalitpur.

[blazeofglory]

Thanks Blaze for your comment. I agree on what you have written. I always wonder why the human made religion, race, GOD created such a havoc in this world. I wish if people could start a new step to make this world a better place to live.

And yes Blaze, I'm from Nepal. I stay near by you on Imadole, Lalitpur.

Good that we are very near physically and virtually too. I like your poem is very interesting. As you are very close to me, I am really curious to know more about your interest in literature. How did you take interest in literature? Which are your favorite writers? Have you gone through Indian novels in English which are getting worldwide acclaim?

Is Imadole your birth place?

[dibyendra]

Good that we are very near physically and virtually too. I like your poem is very interesting. As you are very close to me, I am really curious to know more about your interest in literature. How did you take interest in literature? Which are your favorite writers? Have you gone through Indian novels in English which are getting worldwide acclaim?

Is Imadole your birth place?

Oh yes, we are virtually close and we both stay on the same valley. Although my profession is different as I work as a software developer but my interest on literature is really intense since school days. Oh I haven't gone through Indian novels but yes I love reading many philosophical articles and literatures. Would you like to list some of your own favorites ?
I'm very much fond of reading philosophical books of Osho and read few books in the past.

[jon1jt]

there is hopelessness in this poem. the speaker is dead already.

This world -
could have become a common place

you speak in would-be's and could-be's, and there's a resignation that smells of the religion it preaches. i strongly disagree with your position on religion and philosophy as well.

in your view, religion is the answer. my view holds that philosophy recognizes that the answer is not religion.

[West]

^ If the answer is not found in religion nor in science, where can humans find definitive answers with regard to the unknown? Do you have any answer? It is easy to dismiss what you disagree with and minimize its importance, but it is not easy to provide an alternative when you have non.

[jon1jt]

^ If the answer is not found in religion nor in science, where can humans find definitive answers with regard to the unknown? Do you have any answer? It is easy to dismiss what you disagree with and minimize its importance, but it is not easy to provide an alternative when you have non.

i didn't say anything about science, hard science. the path to an alternative begins with critical reading and humility---the idea that you don't know everything. i doubt that most, if not all, religious folks would make it past a reading of Genesis if they exercised both. nor would they have "the" answer claimed in this poem. nor would you claim that i'm minimizing its importance. :sick:

[West]

Double Post.

[West]

i didn't say anything about science, hard science. the path to an alternative begins with critical reading and humility---the idea that you don't know everything. i doubt that most, if not all, religious folks would make it past a reading of Genesis if they exercised both. nor would they have "the" answer claimed in this poem. nor would you claim that i'm minimizing its importance. :sick:



You are right about the alternative beginning with the critical reading and humility. Very wise of you. I read the poem and I didn't see where it says all the answers are in it. Perhaps subsequent comments written by others say something like that and I didn't read all of them. I just don't see any issues with the poem.

LOL@the the religious folks not reading past Genesis had they used critical thinking and humility. I can only speak for myself and I don't accept everything unless they are logical or can be explained. And I am not a christian though at a basic level, I affirm the message(in its pure original uncorrupted form) brought by Jesus and by all other Jewish and nonjewish prophets of the past. I am a muslim.

[jon1jt]

You are right about the alternative beginning with the critical reading and humility. Very wise of you. I read the poem and I didn't see where it says all the answers are in it. Perhaps subsequent comments written by others say something like that and I didn't read all of them. I just don't see any issues with the poem.

LOL@the the religious folks not reading past Genesis had they used critical thinking and humility. I can only speak for myself and I don't accept everything unless they are logical or can be explained. And I am not a christian though at a basic level, I affirm the message(in its pure original uncorrupted form) brought by Jesus and by all other Jewish and nonjewish prophets of the past. I am a muslim.

you sound like a wise man, west. nice to meet you. i still don't understand though how you call yourself a muslim yet embrace reason at the same time. wouldn't even the belief in a "pure original uncorrupted form" be illogical on its face?


as far as the poem, i am dumbstruck by the line,
"those dead lands are turning green again;"

what "dead lands" are you talking about? it is quite colorful where i live at this time. :)

[AuntShecky]

Enjoyable and readable. Some suggestions if I may:
1. A different, more specific title. There is actually more than one "thought" in this piece.
2. Some of the verses read more like a prose-poem than a
lyric poem. You could try breaking up some of the lines.
And adding more specific imagery. For instance, you could enhance the "blood" motif that appears a couple of times.
3. I agree with the previous posters that the last verse of this poem is the best part. Perhaps you could fiddle with the verses leading up to the ending and make it even better.
I read many of the poems on the Network, but I don't often offer suggestions. So I hope that you take this unsolicited advice in the spirit of constructive criticism and as mere suggestions.

[dibyendra]

Enjoyable and readable. Some suggestions if I may:
1. A different, more specific title. There is actually more than one "thought" in this piece.
2. Some of the verses read more like a prose-poem than a
lyric poem. You could try breaking up some of the lines.
And adding more specific imagery. For instance, you could enhance the "blood" motif that appears a couple of times.
3. I agree with the previous posters that the last verse of this poem is the best part. Perhaps you could fiddle with the verses leading up to the ending and make it even better.
I read many of the poems on the Network, but I don't often offer suggestions. So I hope that you take this unsolicited advice in the spirit of constructive criticism and as mere suggestions.

Oh, thanks you so much Aunt for your suggestions. It's so kind of you doing that for me. I do agree on your first suggestion about the title and yes, it should be "thoughts" rather than "just a thought" ;) Thanks for that. Actually, I made an addition of another piece of thought after few days. And for your second suggestions, I must thank you for triggering such nice ideas... Thanks Aunt! And, I'm very glad that you all liked the last verse.

Thanks Aunt for your kind suggestions ! I hope I'll be able to come up with new piece of this poem as per your suggestions in the coming days.

[dibyendra]

as far as the poem, i am dumbstruck by the line,
"those dead lands are turning green again;"

what "dead lands" are you talking about? it is quite colorful where i live at this time. :)

Thank you so much jon for your comment. I never thought before that people would take seriously about this poem. But in this poem, they were only my thoughts and I love thinking too much ;).

And for your question, don't get dumbstruck jon, "deadlands" meant those countries which were destroyed from the war created by human beings. I just thought that how it would be if people helping each other to make those countries peaceful and making it alive again. I guess I haven't said anything wrong.

[West]

you sound like a wise man, west. nice to meet you. i still don't understand though how you call yourself a muslim yet embrace reason at the same time. wouldn't even the belief in a "pure original uncorrupted form" be illogical on its face?


as far as the poem, i am dumbstruck by the line,
"those dead lands are turning green again;"

what "dead lands" are you talking about? it is quite colorful where i live at this time. :)



Being a muslim doesn't prevent me from embracing reason. I am as much capable of reasoning as you are regardless of our different views about beliefs. As far as I am concerned, no one has a monopoly on reason and intellect. And It is perfectly fine to me to believe in a CREATOR and also believe in the efficacy of scientific investigation, the two, in my world, are parallel and complement one another, they do not contradict.

Nice to meet too :)

[jon1jt]

Thank you so much jon for your comment. I never thought before that people would take seriously about this poem. But in this poem, they were only my thoughts and I love thinking too much ;).

And for your question, don't get dumbstruck jon, "deadlands" meant those countries which were destroyed from the war created by human beings. I just thought that how it would be if people helping each other to make those countries peaceful and making it alive again. I guess I haven't said anything wrong.


okay, thanks dibyendra, makes sense. :thumbs_up


Adam: fair enough. um...reason AND god? so maybe you can answer this question i keep asking religious folks, the age old and still unanswered question: if god created the universe, what created god? :alien: i don't believe in the notion of a prime mover. :D

[West]

okay, thanks dibyendra, makes sense. :thumbs_up


Adam: fair enough. um...reason AND god? so maybe you can answer this question i keep asking religious folks, the age old and still unanswered question: if god created the universe, what created god? :alien: i don't believe in the notion of a prime mover. :D



Did you address someone else by the username Adam and not me? I am a bit confused.

Anyway, can you point me to where you asked the same question? It would be interesting to see the replies of other faithfuls.

According to islamic teachings, God has no beginning nor does he have an end, he is the first of everything and nothing was before him, and he will be the last. And to quote a passage from a link which I will drop for you to satisfy your curiousity:

"The Creator must be of a different nature from the things created because if he is of the same nature as they are, he will be temporal and will therefore need a maker. It follows that nothing is like Him. If the maker is not temporal, then he must be eternal. But if he is eternal, he cannot be caused, and if nothing outside him causes him to continue to exist, which means that he must be Self-Sufficient. And if He does not depend on anything for the continuance of His own existence, then this existence can have no end. The Creator is therefore eternal and everlasting: 'He is the First and the Last.' He is Self-Sufficient or Self-Subsistent or, to use a Quranic term, Al-Qayyum. The Creator does not create only in the sense of bringing things into being, He also preserves them and takes them out of existence and is the ultimate cause of whatever happens to them.

"God is the Creator of everything. He is the guardian over everything. Unto Him belong the keys of the heavens and the earth." (39:62, 63) "No creature is there crawling on the earth, but its provision rests on God. He knows its lodging place and its repository." (11:6)



God's Attributes

If the Creator is Eternal and Everlasting, then His attributes must also be eternal and everlasting. He should not lose any of His attributes nor acquire new ones. If this is so, then His attributes are absolute. Can there be more than one Creator with such absolute attributes? Can there be for example, two absolutely powerful Creators? A moment's thought shows that this is not feasible. The Quran summarizes this argument in the following verses:

"God has not taken to Himself any son, nor is there any god with Him: For then each god would have taken of that which he created and some of them would have risen up over others." (23:91)

And Why, were there gods in earth and heaven other than God, they (heaven and earth) would surely go to ruin." (21:22)



http://www.islam101.com/dawah/02_concept_God.html



You can read the whole article by visiting the link. It is called the "The concept of God in Islam"




Take Care Now.

[Tournesol]

Hi West, asalamualiakum...
it's good to hear the perspective of a Muslim.
I just gave my view on the 'if God created evil' post, perhaps you can check it out!
bye, Kareemah

[West]

Hi West, asalamualiakum...
it's good to hear the perspective of a Muslim.
I just gave my view on the 'if God created evil' post, perhaps you can check it out!
bye, Kareemah

Hi Kareemah, walaikumasalam :) I will check there out soon. Take care Sis.