drunkenKOALA
09-19-2007, 12:59 AM
A very short comedy that I wrote. Welcome any comments/criticisms.
einstein: I like mangoes
sherlock: I prefer strawberries, I believe they taste better. And they are more expensive, so they must be better. And they are red. I like red.
einstein: No, mangoes are better. They have a richer flavor, and they are yellow, which means that they are not red. You can't go wrong with something that is not red.
sherlock: Actually, I believe you are very much misinformed. Mangoes can be quite detrimental to one's constitution. My father told me so, so it must be true.
einstein: But neither you nor your father knows what he is talking about. Mangoes are quite healthy. My dad told me so, so it must be true. Besides, I believe they have lots of sugar, which helps fight cancer.
sherlock: I cannot find within me the moral irresponsitility necessary to agree with anything you have said so far--except that mangoes do cure cancer. I absolutely knew about that before you brought it up. I vouch for it.
einstein: And, perhaps more importantly, as I don't have cancer and don't plan on having one, mangoes simply taste better.
sherlock: I also don't have cancer and don't plan on having one, so mangoes are quite useless. Perhaps they taste better by your standards, but by my more refined, more cultivated, more delicate, more sophisticated standards, strawberries are quite superior in every other way.
einstein: Pray don't jump to conclusions about my standards. You don't even know my ratings on them.
sherlock: But surely einstein, you must rate mangoes a ten! I cannot possibly be at ease until you confirm unconditionally that you do.
einstein: Indeed I do not.
sherlock: But I thought you prefered mango over strawberries? Surely anything conceived misguidedly to be better than strawberries must also deserve misguidedly nothing less than a ten!
einstein: I challenge you to quote me where I said that mangoes are better than strawberries. I have never said such a thing in my life, explicitly or implicitly. Go on, tell me when I said it--it's an impossible task because I didn't.
sherlock: Indeed, I cannot remember your ever having said such a ridiculous thing as that. My apologies. Frankly, from one sherlock to an einstein, I would have been very disappointed in you if you have.
einstein: I would have been disappointed in myself too. Fortunately, I have never said such a thing, and never will, even though mangoes are better than strawberries.
sherlock: It is quite alright as long as you keep your stupidity to yourself. Again, I apologize for assuming that you would betray yourself by expressing your preference for mangoes over strawberries vocally. I must have heard wrong. I often fantasize about your saying stupid things--it makes me feel better about myself.
einstein: I often fantasize about my saying stupid things myself. It makes me happy.
sherlock: Brilliant. You are a genius einstein.
einstein: Thank you. I hear that very often.
einstein: I like mangoes
sherlock: I prefer strawberries, I believe they taste better. And they are more expensive, so they must be better. And they are red. I like red.
einstein: No, mangoes are better. They have a richer flavor, and they are yellow, which means that they are not red. You can't go wrong with something that is not red.
sherlock: Actually, I believe you are very much misinformed. Mangoes can be quite detrimental to one's constitution. My father told me so, so it must be true.
einstein: But neither you nor your father knows what he is talking about. Mangoes are quite healthy. My dad told me so, so it must be true. Besides, I believe they have lots of sugar, which helps fight cancer.
sherlock: I cannot find within me the moral irresponsitility necessary to agree with anything you have said so far--except that mangoes do cure cancer. I absolutely knew about that before you brought it up. I vouch for it.
einstein: And, perhaps more importantly, as I don't have cancer and don't plan on having one, mangoes simply taste better.
sherlock: I also don't have cancer and don't plan on having one, so mangoes are quite useless. Perhaps they taste better by your standards, but by my more refined, more cultivated, more delicate, more sophisticated standards, strawberries are quite superior in every other way.
einstein: Pray don't jump to conclusions about my standards. You don't even know my ratings on them.
sherlock: But surely einstein, you must rate mangoes a ten! I cannot possibly be at ease until you confirm unconditionally that you do.
einstein: Indeed I do not.
sherlock: But I thought you prefered mango over strawberries? Surely anything conceived misguidedly to be better than strawberries must also deserve misguidedly nothing less than a ten!
einstein: I challenge you to quote me where I said that mangoes are better than strawberries. I have never said such a thing in my life, explicitly or implicitly. Go on, tell me when I said it--it's an impossible task because I didn't.
sherlock: Indeed, I cannot remember your ever having said such a ridiculous thing as that. My apologies. Frankly, from one sherlock to an einstein, I would have been very disappointed in you if you have.
einstein: I would have been disappointed in myself too. Fortunately, I have never said such a thing, and never will, even though mangoes are better than strawberries.
sherlock: It is quite alright as long as you keep your stupidity to yourself. Again, I apologize for assuming that you would betray yourself by expressing your preference for mangoes over strawberries vocally. I must have heard wrong. I often fantasize about your saying stupid things--it makes me feel better about myself.
einstein: I often fantasize about my saying stupid things myself. It makes me happy.
sherlock: Brilliant. You are a genius einstein.
einstein: Thank you. I hear that very often.