recovery

[CdnReader]

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recovery


there was a time
when the mere sound of his voice
made me tingle

then i realized that parts of him
weren’t speaking to me at all
and never would

there was a time
when i would drop anything
(everything)
to be at his side
when i could forgive him anything
(everything)

then i discovered
(surprisingly)
that even limitless forgiveness
has boundaries
and tolerance can be exceeded

now
emails lie unattended
phone calls go unanswered
his on-line presence no longer tempts me
and i have returned to
(amazingly)
myself



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cdn/05jul06

[ampoule]

Very interesting. Very nice.

[dibyendra]

This poem speaks my inner voice. I liked this one.

[CdnReader]

Thank you, Ampoule and Dibyendra. Your comments are much appreciated. :)

[Pendragon]

This part actually was what made this poem for me:

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That part speak volumes in what it does not say but makes the reader think. Excellent. And you built one of Fifth's pylons!

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Appaluse.gif

[motherhubbard]

that is one fantastic ending! I can hear it so loudly like a decesion that makes me feel better. it's so over

[CdnReader]

Thanks very much, Pen.

Mother, your post made me smile from ear to ear. You got it beautifully. :D

[PrinceMyshkin]

This by itself



.
then i realized that parts of him
weren’t speaking to me at all
and never would

is worth the price of admission... but I question the wisdom of:



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first, because if it was THAT easy to do, I wonder if it was really worth writing about. As Yeats said, "Out of our quarrels with others we make rhetoric; out of our quarrels with ourselves, we make poetry..."

And second it just seems clever! And passionate-stupid beats clever in poetry every time!

[TheFifthElement]

This is a sad poem Cdn, and whilst there is hope and strength at the end, I wonder if the sadness reigns. I disagree with Prince Myshkin regarding the final lines, I think these are necessary and incredibly open to interpretation, perhaps because of the simplicity which belies the incredible difficulty in taking that step. I wasn't sure about "(surprisingly)" and "(amazingly)" though, although I loved "(everything)", and perhaps that's why the other two didn't feel quite right, I think I was expecting the repetition but that, I think, is just me!

[ampoule]

Oh, I agree with you Fifth, those last lines, as quiet as they are, speak very loudly to me. To me, they made the poem.
I liked the 'everythings' too. I understand. I started to say, and wish I didn't, but that's not true.

[firefangled]

First of all, Cdn, I loved the poem AND the ending.

As far as the following statement goes:




And second it just seems clever! And passionate-stupid beats clever in poetry every time!



Much of what we call Forms, Sonnet, Villanelle, etc. fall in the realm of cleverness. E.E. Cummings, though making his points about syntax and linguistic relationships through his weird conventions, was being clever with language. Just because something is clever doesn't give it a glass jaw to passionate-stupid.

This was very well timed and certainly put a period at the end of the last sentence and it was aptly clever, but I don't see that as a problem. When something is pure cleverness with no substance that's different, but this wasn't that.

[barbara0207]

As Yeats said, "Out of our quarrels with others we make rhetoric; out of our quarrels with ourselves, we make poetry..."

And second it just seems clever! And passionate-stupid beats clever in poetry every time!

Yeats may be right. But then, why shouldn't someone describe the end of their inner quarrel in a poem? The speaker has come to a decision at last, a decision to end a relationship, which is never easy. The reader feels how long the alienation and the inner turmoil took. That is why I would not call it "just clever".
Clever, yes, why not? But "just"?

I loved the poem, and I'm sure many people have felt in a similar way about ending a relationship. So - well done, cdn! :thumbs_up

[CdnReader]

Thank you all for your comments. It's been a pleasure reading through them all this morning. :)


I wasn't sure about "(surprisingly)" and "(amazingly)" though, although I loved "(everything)", and perhaps that's why the other two didn't feel quite right, I think I was expecting the repetition but that, I think, is just me!



I liked the 'everythings' too. I understand. I started to say, and wish I didn't, but that's not true.

Fifth and Amp, when I was writing the poem those extra (lines) came out like quiet inner whispered thoughts that I didn't want to admit, even to myself. I do know what you mean, though, Fifth, about the expected repetition. But perhaps the repetition was more about the buried admissions than about the exact words.


First of all, Cdn, I loved the poem AND the ending. <snip> This was very well timed and certainly put a period at the end of the last sentence and it was aptly clever, but I don't see that as a problem.


The speaker has come to a decision at last, a decision to end a relationship, which is never easy. The reader feels how long the alienation and the inner turmoil took. <snip> I loved the poem, and I'm sure many people have felt in a similar way about ending a relationship.

Fire and Barbara, I think the key to the ending is the pauses between the last three words....and I wasn't sure how to communicate that in writing other than by extra white space. But I'm glad that you both liked it, and I'm glad, Barbara, that the heart-rending journey of the speaker came through.


As Yeats said, "Out of our quarrels with others we make rhetoric; out of our quarrels with ourselves, we make poetry..."


PM, we seem to be at odds over my writings the past few days, but you know I always appreciate hearing your comments whether positive or negative. They always make me look at my poetry differently, and wonder how I could have made it better. You seem to be in the minority about disliking the ending, and that's fine. We all have our own reactions. But, in response to your Yeats quote (and also as Barbara mentioned in her comment), this poem WAS about the narrator's inner quarrel. Perhaps if I read the poem aloud -- the way I hear it in my head instead of the way it looks on a computer screen -- it would come across differently.

Thanks again, everyone. This is such a great forum!