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aashishameya
09-17-2007, 03:15 AM
She was madly in love with him
And he was longing for lust
A hideous crime occurred on bed
She was a blooming flower
And he acted like a beetle
Parching soul land up in desert
She walked on the path of life
He opened door of death
Time still stinks by rotten redemption
But-
For her heaven descended to earth
And to him earth became hell

ampoule
09-17-2007, 04:37 AM
rotten redemption...I like the way it sounds but I need to mull it over.

I like your poem but the subject makes me growl.

Madhuri
09-17-2007, 04:47 AM
For her heaven descended to earth
And to him earth became hell

I don't know, and maybe it's just a feeling that I have, but these lines sound so familiar, as if, I have read similar lines somewhere else too.

Nice comparison, though. :)

Pendragon
09-18-2007, 09:55 AM
True. A nice comparission.

aashishameya
09-19-2007, 04:21 AM
thnk u again dear poets