Trigger Finger

[HjusOticePlostE]

I can feel the trigger,
Slipping through my finger,
Telling me to pull,
As tight as I can.
But Will I kill an innocent man,
Just because I can,
Or will I stand,
Against this urge
That lies within my trigger finger.

Will I defy a God,
Who made me strong,
Who tried so long,
To make things right.
Should I put up this fight,
So I won't give in tonight,
To the urge,
That lies within my trigger finger.
But this urge is getting stronger,
That lies withing my trigger finger.

The feelings within,
PASSION, FEAR, and HATE,
Tearing me apart, letting go,
I wish my hand would just let go,
So I can show,
You that I am stronger,
So now I can no longer,
Deal with these questions inside,
That break me apart and make me hide.
Inside,
This urge is taking over,
That lies within my trigger finger.

I feel it slip,
With my moistened grip.
And that awful sounds, screams,
As the bullet passes through.
I see it pierce the heart,
As the blood begins to start,
Rolling down the chest,
With 10 seconds left.
I fall to the floor,
My heart feels no more.
As the blood drips through,
My shirt,
I hit the dirt,
My last breath escaping for what its worth.
I'm dead,
With a bullet in my HEART,
Instead of my head.

Now my soul lingers,
Above the cold corpse.
Just because I gave into that trigger finger.

[simon]

A convincing and unpredictable ending, "with a bullet in my heart, instead of my head." Perhaps, if you are looking for constructive criticism, take out the third stanza as it doesn't seem needed. I also like the lone word, "inside" as one line in the fourth stanza.

[HjusOticePlostE]

I took it out, My idea that I was going for in the third stanza was to make it sound like he was going to kill another man, but in actually he is talking to himself about it. That is what I was trying to go for. Most of my poems have some glimmer of hope, but they are shot down...I go for a hopeless ending....

[HjusOticePlostE]

Anymore thoughts....