The Pain of Being Created

[symphony]

The Pain of Being Created I

Of Music…





The chanting of the pianos environs the event,

The violin accentuates a bewailing plangency,

Rhythmic marimbas tremble and jingle, while

Their rhythm propels, in pain, in percussion.

Heavens quiver; and the air waves

Shudder in these ambient agonies,

Soreness screams, reverberating, in

The excruciating pain of Creation--

Pain of lyrical words being Euphonied.

And yet, ignoring these sheer complaints, stormy

Forces, and forces alone, blow the resenting oboe—

Unforgiving, unbending. The harps continue to gasp,

Singing of the pain--- the unendurable pain--

The pain of being music, of becoming

Tones being Symphonied.


Well...hehe...I DID try to make it in the shape of a single musical note, but this is what came out :blush: (i swear it looked way better than this in the word window!! :brickwall Thought 'code' should do it, but well...apparently not! :rolleyes: ) Anyway so this is my first attempt at Carmen figuratum :D ...

[symphony]

The Pain of Being Created II

Of A Pearl…



The inscrutable blue
Of the dark coiled waves muffles the anguish
Yearning to pierce out, as cries in sharp outbursts of woe;
Benighted creatures, of the deep chambers of the sea, lurk around--
Hearing not, caring nor. In this dark sea-pit, the darkness and the waves
Transude an icy chill; and yet-- in another dark pit, a gem has born to burn,
In aching fits of pain, only to be embraced by the dark, the dirt, the dread---
“Save me”, she weeps, “from what is unendurable, spare me, oh, from Life”,
And in her ears a Voice whispers, “But you are ignorant still, little gem,
Of the grace and honor of your birth! The Queen of gems you are!”
“And a slave at man’s disposal!”, she cries, and thereof lies
In absolute silence, in the obsolete womb ---
In the inscrutable blue.

[ampoule]

No matter what shape they are in, they are beautiful Symphony.

[symphony]

Thanks Ampoule :)
There's a 3rd short one, called "Of a Poem", but I cant find a way to post it with its weird shape and spacing. :( .

[quasimodo1]

To Symphony: A fine poem here; is this your last revision? Your musical backround (?) helps you form and integrate your poems. The format works well to enhance this poem. quasi

[symphony]

To Symphony: A fine poem here; is this your last revision? Your musical backround (?) helps you form and integrate your poems. The format works well to enhance this poem. quasi

Last revision? Erm...i dont know...are there any mistakes u spotted?

And as to symphonies, i really dont have a background on them (being an asian doesnt help either), though my username may give people an impression like that. I just use this username because I love the way it sounds, plus I do love (and worship) music itself.
Thanks for commenting, quasi. :)

[Granny5]

These are lovely to read, symphony. Are you going to post the third one?
I, for one, would love to read it.

[quasimodo1]

To Symphony: No, in my opinion, weworking is not necessary but then that's always a judgement call. It can stand on it's own; one of my favorite methods when attemping OR succeeding in writing anything...(this is not called for here perhaps)...is to take out every concievable word that is not essential to meaning. Sometimes it helps alot. quasi

[symphony]

Granny:
I did want to post the third one too :( I'm still trying to attach it. But its constantly showing upload errors ("Invalid file"!) :( . And I wont be able to post it with its spacings and everything in here. Even "code" seems too difficult to deal with (having to preview how it looks and then put in the spaces, stuff like that). So I guess we shall have to wait until I figure a way out.

Quasi:
Yes I think I'm done with this two. Reworking on it may spoil the original flow. I didnt go back to edit anything in these poems once I've finished them-- spoiling the shape has been one thing I was scared of, plus the fact that after a real long time I was satisfied by what I've written, however they sound or whatever mistakes they bear. :)

[firefangled]

The Pain of Being Created I

Of Music…


Well...hehe...I DID try to make it in the shape of a single musical note, but this is what came out :blush: (i swear it looked way better than this in the word window!! :brickwall Thought 'code' should do it, but well...apparently not! :rolleyes: ) Anyway so this is my first attempt at Carmen figuratum :D ...


Very original, Symphony!

I've tried to make spatial arrangements before, but the coding of these fields is not extremely versatile. I could see 2 linked quavers or eighth notes. Is that what you were looking for?

Word has great formatiing and then here it kinda melts.


Granny:
I did want to post the third one too :( I'm still trying to attach it. But its constantly showing upload errors ("Invalid file"!) :( . And I wont be able to post it with its spacings and everything in here. Even "code" seems too difficult to deal with (having to preview how it looks and then put in the spaces, stuff like that). So I guess we shall have to wait until I figure a way out.



I haven't figured out how to get pictures on the text field, but if you can capture the poem as a picture from Word that might work. If you know how to get graphics (not the links) let me know.

[symphony]

firefangled: the link where you've uploaded the image

And yes, I had the 8th note in my mind. But it would have been better-looking had it been laterally reversed. :(

[CdnReader]

Hey, Symph. These are really great!! :)

About #3, how about printing and taking a digital photo? (just a thought)

[TheFifthElement]

I love 'Of a Pearl', it is both beautiful and clever. These lines make me shiver:


In absolute silence, in the obsolete womb ---
In the inscrutable blue.

wonderful.

[Pensive]

The Pain of Being Created II

Of A Pearl…



The inscrutable blue
Of the dark coiled waves muffles the anguish
Yearning to pierce out, as cries in sharp outbursts of woe;
Benighted creatures, of the deep chambers of the sea, lurk around--
Hearing not, caring nor. In this dark sea-pit, the darkness and the waves
Transude an icy chill; and yet-- in another dark pit, a gem has born to burn,
In aching fits of pain, only to be embraced by the dark, the dirt, the dread---
“Save me”, she weeps, “from what is unendurable, spare me, oh, from Life”,
And in her ears a Voice whispers, “But you are ignorant still, little gem,
Of the grace and honor of your birth! The Queen of gems you are!”
“And a slave at man’s disposal!”, she cries, and thereof lies
In absolute silence, in the obsolete womb ---
In the inscrutable blue.

Wonderful style, and a really well-written poem! For sometime, I was really lost in the shape. :)

I think it offers many interpretions, loved this thing about this poem. The gem can be taken as a really nice girl being toyed with by people or as just as a gem which to get people don't even hesitate to take someone else's life. In such a case gem is bound to complain and cry. (Man don't I interpret things strangely!)

[Psycheinaboat]

Symphony, that is a truly beautiful poem. I was excited by reading it, like finding a surprise or treasure.

[symphony]

So here's the 3rd one, excuse the shaky shape of the poem hehe...

http://www.pix-hoster.com/upload/of_a_pd49.jpg (http://www.pix-hoster.com/img.php?id=of_a_pd49)
The Pain of Being Created III

Of A Poem…

A
Swift swish of
Thoughts, in a
Clear corner---
Of the mind
A shiver in the
Surface of the
Parchment----
And the timid
Pen shudders
Along with it---
The parchment
Stain’d with the
Blood seeping,
From the pen--
(In pain & awe
Of birth)as
Ink


I dont have a digi-cam here with me right now, so i went for print screen and then converted the word document to an image. I expect it to work. :)

[Riesa]

I love them all, Symphony. exquisite work.

[Granny5]

it's great. Thanks for sharing with us. I like all three.

[symphony]

Here's how I and II originally looked, thought i should put these up too. :)

http://www.pix-hoster.com/upload/of_musb14.jpg (http://www.pix-hoster.com/img.php?id=of_musb14)


http://www.pix-hoster.com/upload/of_a_pr79.jpg (http://www.pix-hoster.com/img.php?id=of_a_pr79)

[Granny5]

They look Wonderful! Thanks

[symphony]

Wonderful style, and a really well-written poem! For sometime, I was really lost in the shape. :)

Thanks Pensive, I love the way u always tend to find my poems out from the cavern and then compliment them :) I really appreciate ur comments. :) Thanks again.


Symphony, that is a truly beautiful poem. I was excited by reading it, like finding a surprise or treasure.
They are a treasure to me :) Thanks.

I love them all, Symphony. exquisite work.
Ahh thanks Riesa. Ur comments always leave me feeling proud. :p


it's great. Thanks for sharing with us. I like all three.
U wanted to read the 3rd one before. I hope you werent disappointed. :D

[Pendragon]

The Pain of Being Created I

Of Music…





The chanting of the pianos environs the event,

The violin accentuates a bewailing plangency,

Rhythmic marimbas tremble and jingle, while

Their rhythm propels, in pain, in percussion.

Heavens quiver; and the air waves

Shudder in these ambient agonies,

Soreness screams, reverberating, in

The excruciating pain of Creation--

Pain of lyrical words being Euphonied.

And yet, ignoring these sheer complaints, stormy

Forces, and forces alone, blow the resenting oboe—

Unforgiving, unbending. The harps continue to gasp,

Singing of the pain--- the unendurable pain--

The pain of being music, of becoming

Tones being Symphonied.


Well...hehe...I DID try to make it in the shape of a single musical note, but this is what came out :blush: (i swear it looked way better than this in the word window!! :brickwall Thought 'code' should do it, but well...apparently not! :rolleyes: ) Anyway so this is my first attempt at Carmen figuratum :D ...
Actually, I think you did fine! Visual poetry is a difficult thing, for the poem must not suffer to create the picture. Well done!

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/yoda.gif

[Virgil]

Wow, Symph your poetry keeps improving every time. These are wonderful.

Here are some highlights from each poem:

Rhythmic marimbas tremble and jingle, while
Their rhythm propels, in pain, in percussion.


In this dark sea-pit, the darkness and the waves
Transude an icy chill; and yet-- in another dark pit, a gem has born to burn,
In aching fits of pain, only to be embraced by the dark, the dirt, the dread---


The parchment
Stain’d with the
Blood seeping,
From the pen--

[symphony]

It's been 3 years and I'm sorry for bumping this thread up, I wasnt really meaning to :blush2: . But I happened to look this thread up after reading Aunt's post (http://online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56548) in Poems, Poets & Poetry, and I do think this thread should have the pictures of the poems to give off the shapes-- that being what I was attempting at in these particular poems.


http://files.myopera.com/symphonied/blog/Of%20music.jpg

http://files.myopera.com/symphonied/blog/of%20a%20pearl.jpg

http://files.myopera.com/symphonied/blog/of%20a%20poem.jpg


Here's the link for these in my blog. (http://my.opera.com/symphonied/blog/2007/09/13/the-pain-of-being-created)


Ahem. Kindly excuse the redundancy of words in these, I've grown out of the habit of dressing my poems up that way since. I was around 16, probably explains the prettifying. Ahem.

[hillwalker]

I'm glad you found a way to share these with us the way they were meant to be read/pictured.

Personally I enjoyed the final 2 the most - 'Pearl' in particular is a wonderful poem in which one senses the transformation from a grain of sand in an oyster shell to an item of jewellery - a thing of beauty yet a 'slave' to fashion.

H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Well, thank goodness you did bump these as I think they were originally posted before I joined and I'd have missed them. They are beautiful and supple as your works usually are, but--

But I haven't a clue as to the significance of the unhighlighted parts in II?