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mesoney
09-10-2007, 05:28 AM
I fell in love from beggining to end and now the end has already past and I'm still in love how long will the hurt continue to last it tares me apart everytime I see her I thought she was the one I thought it was for sure. I guess I was wrong I guess I lied I wonder when it ended if she even cried. Crawling alone deep in the dark shattered and beaten fallen apart. Hope is out the window and my heart begins to slow if she still cares this I'll never know. I stay with my friends in thought my hope trandcends but in reality this pain never truly ends. It twist and bends and pulls me apart I'll try a new life a whole new start.

Virgil
09-10-2007, 07:01 AM
Very bad, actually. Sorry, but you asked. There isn't an original piece of writing in this. And it's just it's just a outpouring of whinning and crying. I'm sure the experience hurt, but outpouring of emotion isn't poetry. Expression alone isn't poetry or any form of art. If it were, then an infant crying would be the equivialnnt of Shakespeare's Hamlet.

PrinceMyshkin
09-10-2007, 08:08 AM
I winced when I read Virgil's response, but you did ask for it - by asking what I believe is the wrong question. The answers to your poll could only depress you further or - if positive - flatter your ego, but is it your ego that was hurt when your girl-friend/lover left the relationship, or something more substantial than that?

The real question, I assume is: Why do I hurt so much? What did I do to deserve this hurt? And Will I ever get over it?

Granny5
09-10-2007, 08:26 AM
Well, I'm not much of a writer so I really hate to say anything but it really isn't a poem. It's just ramblings. But maybe it just needs some work on wording and form. Maybe you can work on it and repost it? Read some of the other poems here on the personal poetry forum and see what/how they are worded and the lines are broken and maybe that will help.It helps me. Also, the hurt goes away. It really does. Working on your writting will help it go away faster because you'll be occupied. Good luck!

PrinceMyshkin
09-10-2007, 08:54 AM
Well, I'm not much of a writer

Man! Don't I know that! I mean, how long has it been since you wrote ME?


Also, the hurt goes away. It really does. Working on your writting will help it go away faster because you'll be occupied. Good luck!

How deeply I endorse that! Working on the poem - as art! - might be the best way to transcend the pain. Like Rapunzel, turn the straw into gold!

Granny5
09-10-2007, 09:04 AM
Man! Don't I know that! I mean, how long has it been since you wrote ME?



How deeply I endorse that! Working on the poem - as art! - might be the best way to transcend the pain. Like Rapunzel, turn the straw into gold!

Jerry, it was Rumplestilskin that spun straw into gold wasn't it??? Rapunzel had the long, long hair.
(and I think I wrote you last Kiddo!)

PrinceMyshkin
09-10-2007, 09:08 AM
Jerry, it was Rumplestilskin that spun straw into gold wasn't it??? Rapunzel had the long, long hair.

Should you really be revealing that much about your age, hon? I, on the other, hand was just relying on hearsay. I wasn't actually THERE!

Granny5
09-10-2007, 09:11 AM
Should you really be revealing that much about your age, hon? I, on the other, hand was just relying on hearsay. I wasn't actually THERE!

"Hon"....You're living dangerously when referring to MY age!
Do we really want to go there?:lol: