What's wrong with envy?

[Bakiryu]

I was nosing around THE NATURE OF SIN THREAD and came upon the concept of envy. Mostly how it never stays just as envy but grows into hatred....

what do you think?

Is envy/jealousy wrong? or it is perfectly normal to be envious?

[NikolaiI]

Hm, well I think envious and jealousy thoughts are any of the other discursive thoughts we have, desire, anxiety, guilt, and probably cause discontentment like the rest of them.

I think it's something that is slightly bad for us and we should let go of if possible, but I don't think it leads to hatred very often at all.

[motherhubbard]

I think that envy is a stronger word than we consider it to be. If you get a brand new car for your 16th B-day and I say 'Oh I'm so jealous!" and even if I feel jealous, but happy for you then that's not really envy. I think that envy is a consuming desire to want what others have, more than what they have, better than what they have and (the kicker here) for them not to have those things. It's got a mean selfishness to it. A envious person can never be satisfied and they have no appreciation for what they already have.

[Bakiryu]

I think it's ok to be a little envious, I mean if you say to yourself "Look, donna got a new car, I want one too" you would work harder to get what she has>

[applepie]

The concept of envy seems to be used a little too lightly. To me, someone who is envious is almost consumed by their jealousy. Jealousy is a normal thing. I am a bit jealous when when I see someone with something I would like to have but can't for some reason or another. It doesn't make me hate them. I'm envious of people with all the help and advantages in the world, but once again it doesn't turn to hate. Envy can only turn to hate if you let it. If you use negative feelings to drive your own ambition and to strive for something better then it can be a good thing. If you allow it to drive you to steal another's husband or harm another, then you have not used it in a positive manner and it is more damaging to all involved. It is perfectly normal to desire what others have. It is how we, as individuals, handle these feeling that determine whether it is right or wrong.

[Bakiryu]

I envy beautiful people and this leads to a propensity to hate then, perhaps this would justify that none of my friends are considered "beautiful" by society. Sometimes society just creates these feelings on you by judging you and comparing you to others so much you hate then and desire to have what they have.

[NikolaiI]

Oh, that sucks. I think you are very beautiful, Baki. I don't care what society thinks, rofl, they're wrong about everything...

[Bakiryu]

um, thanks.

So, should we or shouldn't we be envious of what others have?

[papayahed]

I'm thinking no. Being envious can lead us to strive to do better, work harder to gain certain things, I think we can all agree this isn't a bad thing. On the other hand, one size does not fit all. I'm envious of my friends wall mounted flat screen TV, I could go out right now and get one but will it give me the same pleasure - No. He's a movie fanatic - I'm not. What I'm trying to say that what others have may not make us happy, we need to determine what's "it" for ourselves so wrrying about what everyone else has is a waste of time.

[Pensive]

I'm thinking no. Being envious can lead us to strive to do better, work harder to gain certain things, I think we can all agree this isn't a bad thing.

Maybe you are right or maybe you are not. My father often tries to compare me with friends/relatives who get more marks than me in school and tries to stir up envy inside my heart but to me it doesn't really make a difference. And I find it kind of funny - his attempts. I get good marks, that's all what matters to me but maybe if I get envious, I feel I might get even more marks as I would work more hard. But anyway, this feeling doesn't seem good to me... Maybe sometime in my life I might have experienced it but I really don't remember. Maybe I am too much absorbed in myself that I think no one can have a better life than me (which I think is not the case perhaps) and maybe I think that we can't really measure the happiness inside people's hearts, yes Bakiryu, even those who have pretty faces. Or perhaps I think you are what you are. You get what you have to get. Maybe what others have is not enough for them. Then what's there to envy about? I think I am a bit afraid of putting myself in someone else's shoes...even if I have a gloomy heart maybe they have even gloomier...

But joking, I often use these words 'I am jealous' to appreciate something seeming-ly good happening to my friends. :p

Jeez, I hope I am not the only one who thinks like this. And hey, this doesn't mean I don't feel bad. I might even have experienced even envy sometime without realizing it. *thoughtful*