The Old Man

[Lote-Tree]

The Old Man

I see my destiny, my ending
In the folds of the skin
In the old man's face,
In the wrinkles
My life's future history
Is written down in the deep
Furrows of his countenance.

When I look into his eyes
I see myself, my own reflection;
A lot of tears he did shed
And in my turn I will too.
In his feeble smile, he seems to
Reveal to me
His years of sadness
The regrets of his life,
Of unfilled desires,
The dreams that never came true.

As he walks on with the aid of his walking stick,
His body moves slowly and with difficulty
And tears come to my eyes!
That man is Me, my fate
And I cannot bear to look at myself!
This frail, weak man with the walking stick
His wrinkled feature maps my destiny.

There is no need for hell, no need for punishment
For sins committed – now or in the afterlife.
Life itself is one long purgatory
And old age is indeed hell.

Though hope exists in the form of death
And it is this hope that I see
Etched in the old man's face.
It has become his dream
And one day it will be mine also…

[PrinceMyshkin]

How sad this would be if it were not for the empathy in it and the bravery, because the courage to see one's eventual destiny is already something of a triumph over it. Beautiful poem. Thank you.

[TheFifthElement]

Really good poem Lote, very strong with emotion, with sadness, and hope mixed into one. Sad to think that one day (if we're lucky) we'll all hope for death.

A couple of suggestions in the second verse:

"When I look into his eyes
I see myself, my own reflection;
A lot of tears he did shed
And in my turn I will too.
In his feeble smile, he seems to
Reveal to me
His years of sadness
The regrets of his life,
Of unfilled desires,
The dreams that never came true."

Loved the opening, and the final verse, and the poem flows well. Excellent :D

[Lote-Tree]

How sad this would be if it were not for the empathy in it and the bravery, because the courage to see one's eventual destiny is already something of a triumph over it. Beautiful poem. Thank you.

Thanks Prince. I am glad you liked it :-)


Really good poem Lote, very strong with emotion, with sadness, and hope mixed into one. Sad to think that one day (if we're lucky) we'll all hope for death.

A couple of suggestions in the second verse:

"When I look into his eyes
I see myself, my own reflection;
A lot of tears he did shed
And in my turn I will too.
In his feeble smile, he seems to
Reveal to me
His years of sadness
The regrets of his life,
Of unfilled desires,
The dreams that never came true."

Loved the opening, and the final verse, and the poem flows well. Excellent :D

Thanks FifthElement for pointing out those mistakes :-) I have corrected them :-)

I left these out:



It was my birth that sealed my doom
Into following life's course
To experience the pain
The torment of existence
No amount of tears can reverse
Or alter this decree of fate


and



life has been cruel to him
I can see it in his hand
Made rough by the years
Of carrying the load of living
The skin on the palm of his hand
Has lost its former elasticity
The dry features, the cracks and the grooves
Marks the painful battles scars of being alive.


to shorten the poem...perhaps it is better shortened...

[TheFifthElement]

Yes, I think it is perfect as it is, sometimes saying less is more.

[Lote-Tree]

Yes, I think it is perfect as it is, sometimes saying less is more.

Thanks Supreme Being.

Problem with me is that I don't know when to stop :D