He-Man

[ampoule]

He-Man

Who is that standing there I see,
Atlas? Samson? Hercules?
I try to get a closer look,
"Stand back," you say, "it's only me."

You have such fortitude, such mettle,
What do you draw upon?
How do you keep from giving in,
Doing what's always honorable?

Get over here you big he-man
And let me feel your muscles.
Perhaps you'll share with me your strength,
Since mine has turned to sand.

Love is the strongest bond I'm told,
And forgiveness reinforces.
I'm training very hard you see,
A heavy heart to hold.


amp, February Sixth TwoThousandOne

[CdnReader]

"Stand back," you say, "it's only me."

I expected this line to read,
"Stand back," you say, "you could get hurt."

:lol:

I love the way you write, Amp. Always a treat.

[firefangled]

Love is the strongest bond I'm told,
And forgiveness reinforces.
I'm training very hard you see,
A heavy heart to hold.

amp, February Sixth TwoThousandOne

A. - I wish it weren't so, but I love this last stanza. Even when you write of vulnerability, you exude a tremendous inner strength the way you write.

I really enjoyed this.

[AuntShecky]

[QUOTE=ampoule;434829][B][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkRed"]He-Man


Get over here you big he-man
And let me feel your muscles.
Perhaps you'll share with me your strength,
Since mine has turned to sand.


One of the qualities of a good poet is a good, strong voice. The first two lines of this particular stanza show
intimacy and immediacy. "Urgency," which is something the editors of The New Yorker say that they look for. The poem as a whole succeeds because it doesn't try to do too much (nor too little.)

Good job.
Auntie

[ampoule]

Thank you, thank you very much. I was afraid it was too much of nothing and I wondered about my rhyme scheme also. But thank you.