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rabid reader
08-26-2007, 11:29 AM
They never know do they?
When I paint my skin,
They think I am one of them.
They think I’m their kin.
I know to be vain, and what to say.
I know their secrets that they hide.
I am their focus, their gem.
Through temptation I am Hell’s guide.

O’ the rolling hills do see,
The holes, and the truth.
The opinionated vineyards,
Know that I’ll never be Ruth.
They will always know me,
Through my never dying youth.
I am safe in my protect of guards.
Safe from nature’s tooth.

I am a Succubus of temptation.
I sit here nude and knowing.
I must never return to nature.
For hell is where we’re going
I am pure of mark or adaptations.
It is my purity that is unholy.
Love me and your soul will fracture.
I feed on the unclean, souly.

Pendragon
08-26-2007, 11:34 AM
Interesting rhyme scheme, great poem. Um, you might want to change the spelling of Succubus in the first line of the third stanza!

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ThumbsUp.gif

rabid reader
08-26-2007, 11:41 AM
Interesting rhyme scheme, great poem. Um, you might want to change the spelling of Succubus in the first line of the third stanza!

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ThumbsUp.gif

the spelling or the capitalization?

Pendragon
08-27-2007, 10:29 AM
the spelling or the capitalization?

Looks great now. I may have jumbled the letters myself, (slightly dyslexic), but I could have sworn you had an extra c in threre. Nive poem, Rabid.

Have a star from an angel you little devilish thing! :lol: :lol: :lol:

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Angelstar.gif

motherhubbard
08-27-2007, 10:39 AM
I thought that was superb! Interesting rhyme scheme and I loved the way you handled the subject. Also some extra yummy lines like


I sit here nude and knowing.

and

It is my purity that is unholy.

rabid reader
08-27-2007, 10:50 AM
I thought that was superb! Interesting rhyme scheme and I loved the way you handled the subject. Also some extra yummy lines like



and

thank you, it was actually a poem I wrote for a picture poetry contest on this site almost a year ago. It was one of my favourites, and I re-did a couple of things, and this is what i have.