Only Women can LOVE truly? [Archive] - Literature Network Forums

Virgil

08-21-2007, 12:34 PM

:lol: I see Lote is back with his provacitve questions. good question, but i think the options are lame. I like Nick's reply to this. I agree with Nick. I wonder which he voted for.

There is little known when it comes to love in psychology.
Love may be better defined in religion, but if the truest is that of God we all fall short.

Men and women love differently and few reach their genders potential.
It's not gender, but individuals and their E.I. (Emotional Intelligence).

SleepyWitch

08-21-2007, 01:52 PM

only women can truly lust after celebrity old guys :D

Lote-Tree

08-21-2007, 01:59 PM

only women can truly lust after celebrity old guys :D

I am beginig to worry about you Sleepy - kissing false teeth does not put you off at all ? ;)

TheFifthElement

08-21-2007, 01:59 PM

How could you know, unless you have been both?...

SleepyWitch

08-21-2007, 02:02 PM

I am beginig to worry about you Sleepy - kissing false teeth does not put you off at all ? ;)

sure it does, which is why I fancy only those who've still got their own set of teeth :)

Lote-Tree

08-21-2007, 02:08 PM

How could you know, unless you have been both?...

If you are loved by one?

TheFifthElement

08-21-2007, 02:10 PM

If you are loved by one?

All that gives you is the appearance of how they love, but knowing how they actually feel...well, that's a different story.

Lote-Tree

08-21-2007, 02:13 PM

All that gives you is the appearance of how they love, but knowing how they actually feel...well, that's a different story.

If we were to actually feel how someone else feels inside then world would be a different place won't it? Murderer would know exactly how it feels to be murdered?

TheFifthElement

08-21-2007, 02:47 PM

If we were to actually feel how someone else feels inside then world would be a different place won't it? Murderer would know exactly how it feels to be murdered?

Yes, and a lover would know how it feels to be loved. A different place indeed.

NickAdams

08-21-2007, 07:29 PM

:lol: I see Lote is back with his provacitve questions. good question, but i think the options are lame. I like Nick's reply to this. I agree with Nick. I wonder which he voted for.

I went with the only possibility: It's lame and bears no truth.;)

only women can truly lust after celebrity old guys :D

I did my fair share of lusting over Ashley Judd and Diane Lane.:blush:

applepie

08-21-2007, 11:46 PM

The ability or inability to love is not confined by the sexes. I've seen many mothers who can't even love their own children. More important to the question what is the quantification of loving truly? Is in unconditional love? If that is the case, then both sexes can have it. The feeling is normally only about a child, though.

kiz_paws

08-22-2007, 01:56 AM

There is little known when it comes to love in psychology.
Love may be better defined in religion, but if the truest is that of God we all fall short.

Men and women love differently and few reach their genders potential.
It's not gender, but individuals and their E.I. (Emotional Intelligence).

I'm in agreement with what Nick so eloquently said here. The only thing that I am not sure on, though, was this Emotional Intelligence thing....

Good thread, Lote (as usual), and hey, love that new avatar! :)

NikolaiI

08-22-2007, 02:09 AM

I think mkhockenbarry was right on target, and I have to disagree with Nick. Now I haven't studied a whole lot of psychology, only a few books, but I think they understand love very well. For one, the psychologists themselves are people who have families and love, and I'm sure it is an inspiration for them and something they are trying to figure out. I learned so much about love and relationships from Dr. M. Scott Peck. He talks about love as a feeling and as an action. Lol I just realized that para was ended very lousy...

Now it would be very valid to say that these are only opinions, observations and notes, and so they're not knowledge. And so ceding that I cede it all, but I would say psychologists can define love well.

Socrates and the old philosophers also talked about love. :) Kind of interesting. But in those days this wouldn't be understood. I think it was more the opposite. For some people of course.

Anyway, I think between the two authors Dostoevsky and Hugo all is said.

Er, actually that isn't clear, so what I think is that both men and women can love equally deeply, yadda yadda. Perhaps the schizophrenic can love deepest of all...

And when I said Dostoyevsky I had White Nights in mind, and when I said Hugo I had Les Miserables, the only book I've read by him, in mind.

Of course men can love deeply. Even if some don't. Others have. And even if we are talking about majorities, and saying a majority is one way or another, capacity is another thing.

Lote-Tree

08-22-2007, 02:43 AM

hey, love that new avatar! :)

Bueno! Beauty is Truth and Truth Beauty :D

NickAdams

08-22-2007, 10:47 AM

I will reply to all once I get home.;)

I'm in agreement with what Nick so eloquently said here. The only thing that I am not sure on, though, was this Emotional Intelligence thing....

Good thread, Lote (as usual), and hey, love that new avatar! :)

I'll post the explanation of EI later too.

Neo_Sephiroth

08-22-2007, 03:32 PM

Pheesh!:p Nah! It's not true.

Maybe men have a harder time showing love than a woman.

Bakiryu

08-22-2007, 03:49 PM

Only women can love truly. Men just want to use women.

Even in a married couple the woman usually loves her husband more than he does her.

Neo_Sephiroth

08-22-2007, 03:56 PM

Not true. Men are capable of loving just as much as a woman can.

There are some women out there that use men and some men that use women.

It goes both ways.

Lote-Tree

08-22-2007, 03:58 PM

Only women can love truly. Men just want to use women.

Even in a married couple the woman usually loves her husband more than he does her.

You know what I am talking about Baki :D

TheFifthElement

08-22-2007, 04:00 PM

Even in a married couple the woman usually loves her husband more than he does her.

I don't think that's true at all - perhaps in an unbalanced marriage, where the woman has low self-esteem (as many women do), and the man is selfish. Perhaps this is why many marriages fail?

Lote-Tree

08-22-2007, 04:04 PM

Perhaps this is why many marriages fail?

Marriage fail because of men! Men can't live without sex. Women can :D

Is the pylon pic from one of your collections :D lol

Virgil

08-22-2007, 04:10 PM

Only women can love truly. Men just want to use women.

Even in a married couple the woman usually loves her husband more than he does her.

I don't think that's fair Baki. I know lots of men who love their wives strongly and quite possibly more than the wife loving him. Sometimes men don't show it as well as women, I'll admit that.

TheFifthElement

08-22-2007, 04:48 PM

Marriage fail because of men! Men can't live without sex. Women can :D

That's because for women, there are always rabbits ;)

Is the pylon pic from one of your collections :D lol

Yes :lol: ! Do you like it? There will be more.

Lote-Tree

08-22-2007, 04:56 PM

That's because for women, there are always rabbits ;)

LOL :D

How can men compete with that !!!!! ;-)

We will just have to wait for the invention of the Holodeck or fembots in the future :D

Yes :lol: ! Do you like it? There will be more.

LOL :D very nice - it looks like a four handed women - like Kali ;-)

NickAdams

08-23-2007, 12:13 AM

We're being attacked Virgil.:lol:

Women, or atleast my wife, needs to hear and see cliched love signals to know we care, but a lot of the things a man does for his wife she will never know- or won't be the right way of showing.

When my wife has to be to work at 5AM, I wake up with her at 3AM to walk her to the train. When she gets out late, I walk to the train station to walk her home. If there is a last anything in the frig, I leave it for her. I do small things that don't scream I love you, but she is happier for it and that's what matters.

There is more, but Virgil knows what I'm talking about.

You know the remake of Texas Chainsaw Mass, when the boyfriend has the ring and his girlfriend doesn't find out he was going to purpose until she finds the ring on his dead body? That's what a guy love is. It's unnoticed and tragic ... and a great idea for a book. :lol:

PS: I will post the psychology and EI stuff tomorrow. As promised. All will recieve their island or kingdom on dry land.;)

jon1jt

08-23-2007, 12:39 AM

[QUOTE=Lote-Tree;431878]Only women can Love truly. Men can't and thats their tradgedy! :D

1. Only women can love truly - I agree 100% :D

women truly love shopping. men truly love women :p

2. Men can't and that's their tragedy! - I agree 100% :D

Men can love truly and that's why women desire them. :p

3. Women's Love is like the Ocean and men's like a little pond - I agree 100%

Men are the Ocean and go skinny dipping in a little pond. :lol:

Neo_Sephiroth

08-23-2007, 02:50 PM

Marriage fail because of men! Men can't live without sex. Women can :D

Whoa, whoa!!! Hold up a minute there...Ain't no reason to jump to conclusion.

Men can live without sex...Of course, it's just more difficult for 'em. Ugh.:sick:

And who ever said women can live without sex?

http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p2/preston029/chipendales.jpg

Your reaction? Is it getting hot in here?

Mortis Anarchy

08-23-2007, 06:18 PM

Whoa, whoa!!! Hold up a minute there...Ain't no reason to jump to conclusion.

Men can live without sex...Of course, it's just more difficult for 'em. Ugh.:sick:

And who ever said women can live without sex?

Your reaction? Is it getting hot in here?

Yeah...I didn't need to see that. Its quite frigid on my end...so cold that Mr. Snow Man can't stand it.

I think both sexes can and can't live without sex. Some people just have more self-control than others.;)

Lote-Tree

08-23-2007, 06:20 PM

Mortis Anarchy

08-23-2007, 06:33 PM

Okay, well I've got mixed feelings on the issue. I think sometimes men might love the woman more than she loves him. Sometimes women have a hard time of showing their love...I know I do...and I am of the female gender;)

I have a really hard time of saying "I love You"...I think its different in every person. I've seen plenty of girls just 'play' with boys that are totally infatuated/in love with them...I don't think its fair to say that men are incapable of love. I don't/can't/refuse to believe that. Maybe people just have a harder time to show how much they care for other people...maybe the stuff they do just goes unnoticed...Maybe some people just need more attention than others so then they feel as if they aren't being loved properly. I'm not saying that that is always the case...but I don't think that it falls just on the males.

I've got your back Nick and Virg.:)

And I think females need sex just as much as males do. Thats all I'm going to say about that.

Pensive

08-23-2007, 10:08 PM

Marriage fail because of men! Men can't live without sex. Women can

Can't appreciate such jokes! Sorry, Lote. Or are you really serious?

Lote-Tree

08-24-2007, 04:24 AM

Can't appreciate such jokes! Sorry, Lote.

And if Research should this is the case - would still not appreciate it? :D

NikolaiI

08-24-2007, 01:33 PM

Yes, both men and women have the capacity to love deeply, regardless of whether some men don't show it, or some girls lead on boys who are in love with them. Besides, we can never know what the accurate statistics are, can we?

Redzeppelin

08-24-2007, 10:21 PM

Both men and women are capable of deep, intimate, love. The problem arises out of two important considerations:

1. We define "love" pretty loosely and often incorrectly - e.g.: "I love cats, I love my car, I love my wife." Right - so what does "love" mean? Since love is actually a choice (rather than a feeling) both genders are capable of the same depth of love (though men, through their inherent ability to compartmentalize can more easily isolate it, and women, through their relational wiring, integrate it more fully into their existence).

2. Men and women experience love differently; the old high school maxim that "girls give sex for love and guys give love for sex" is actually fairly accurate. For girls (and this is a generalization ladies, so go easy, OK?), sex is but one possible expression of "love" - but for guys, that often is THE expression of love. In other words, guys feel loved in the act of sex - it is the most powerful experience of "love" we can have - and because women can experience love in many other ways, they are less focused on it than men as a definitive method of communicating love. Yes, I know there are exceptions and such, but I think that both genders are capable of true "love" (whatever that is).

Pensive

08-25-2007, 03:58 PM

And if Research should this is the case - would still not appreciate it? :D

Nope. Researches can be claimed to be made by jokey-jokey ones who don't consider such claims instead of making people laugh annoy them at their choice of jokes/research.

Lote-Tree

08-25-2007, 04:19 PM

Nope. Researches can be claimed to be made by jokey-jokey ones who don't consider such claims instead of making people laugh annoy them at their choice of jokes/research.

But you know from Evolutionary perspective men and women "love" differently? Males try to spread their DNA while female try get the best DNA and once gotten they try to keep the Male interested in her until the offspring is raised?

Pensive

08-25-2007, 04:22 PM

But you know from Evolutionary perspective men and women "love" differently? Males try to spread their DNA while female try get the best DNA and once gotten they try to keep the Male interested in her until the offspring is raised?

And how does this show men are incapable of love? *extremely confused*

*edit to add*

Ah, as a matter of fact, you are admitting yourself 'men' do love too:

By Lote Tree: But you know from Evolutionary perspective men and women "love" differently?

Lote-Tree

08-25-2007, 04:29 PM

And how does this show men are incapable of love? *extremely confused*

It does not. And I never said that. Men and women are capable of "loving" but women are better at it than men.

Pensive

08-25-2007, 04:36 PM

It does not. And I never said that. Men and women are capable of "loving" but women are better at it than men.

So, only women can't love truly! Men can too. :) As for women being more capable of loving, I think I should rather not comment. It looks rather silly to me to make a generalisation on it.

Lote-Tree

08-25-2007, 04:44 PM

So, only women can't love truly! Men can too. :)

Pensy only women can love truly. Think about it. Only women can give birth to new life. Men can't. That's why men invented religion :D

Pensive

08-25-2007, 04:55 PM

Pensy only women can love truly. Think about it. Only women can give birth to new life. Men can't. That's why men invented religion :D

Hmmm and how is this related to your claim that women can love better than men?

Neo_Sephiroth

08-25-2007, 04:58 PM

*Grabs some popcorn and get ready to watch*:D

Lote-Tree

08-25-2007, 04:59 PM

Hmmm and how is this related to your claim that women can love better than men?

The very fact that they can bring New Life into the world...men can't.

Pensive

08-25-2007, 05:03 PM

The very fact that they can bring New Life into the world...men can't.

Men are men. Women can't be born as men. (unless they change their genders but still they are not born that way) Should this mean men can love better than women?

By the way, Lote, you seriously need to read Biology!

Lote-Tree

08-25-2007, 05:10 PM

Men are men. Women can't be born as men.

Yes. And men can't give birth to new life. It is this that put's women on a pedestal that no man can reach. And hence it is this ability that makes them love truly.

Pensive

08-25-2007, 05:14 PM

Yes. And men can't give birth to new life. It is this that put's women on a pedestal that no man can reach. And hence it is this ability that makes them love truly.

All I can say is Waah Waah on your reasoning! :p

Lote-Tree

08-25-2007, 05:17 PM

All I can say is Waah Waah on your reasoning! :p

Come on Pensy think serious about this :D

Men can't give birth to new life. They lack this cosmic connection that comes with being able to create new lifeform. That is why men invented religion so that they can have this cosmic connection by having God speak to men only! :D

NikolaiI

08-25-2007, 05:19 PM

Both men and women are capable of deep, intimate, love. The problem arises out of two important considerations:

I agree with this, however;

1. We define "love" pretty loosely and often incorrectly - e.g.: "I love cats, I love my car, I love my wife." Right - so what does "love" mean? Since love is actually a choice (rather than a feeling) both genders are capable of the same depth of love (though men, through their inherent ability to compartmentalize can more easily isolate it, and women, through their relational wiring, integrate it more fully into their existence).

Love is both a feeling and an action. Being in love is a feeling, but it is not the same as the action of love. When we act on love, that is like acts of kindness or friendliness, and when those are returned that is the beginning of love. By the way, we do this with objects, too, it's called 'cathecting,' and is a valid form of love. I think your terminology about the differences of men and women loving is bogus because the process is the same for each. Give love, receive love, grow, etc.

2. Men and women experience love differently; the old high school maxim that "girls give sex for love and guys give love for sex" is actually fairly accurate. For girls (and this is a generalization ladies, so go easy, OK?), sex is but one possible expression of "love" - but for guys, that often is THE expression of love. In other words, guys feel loved in the act of sex - it is the most powerful experience of "love" we can have - and because women can experience love in many other ways, they are less focused on it than men as a definitive method of communicating love. Yes, I know there are exceptions and such, but I think that both genders are capable of true "love" (whatever that is).

This is so localized, generalizing and bland...it is not even a 'rule' since there are probably large percentages in many different categories that are nothing like what you describe here. This is not how the genders are. It is maybe how some are, and even some stereotypes, maybe. But there are different nations, cultures, ages, all different types of people...you say that love is not a feeling, and then you consider an orgy to be the most powerful experience of love. Why not a mutual heroin experience? A love letter? A hug? A shared evening, or shared music? A shared life?

Anyway, at least you agree that obviously both can experience deep love..

Pensive

08-25-2007, 05:21 PM

Come on Pensy think serious about this :D

And I was serious (of course with intended sarcasm though)!

Neo_Sephiroth

08-25-2007, 05:23 PM

That is why men invented religion so that they can have this cosmic connection by having God speak to men only! :D

*Drops bowl of popcorn*

Whoa!!! God speaks to men only?!

applepie

08-25-2007, 05:42 PM

Yes. And men can't give birth to new life. It is this that put's women on a pedestal that no man can reach. And hence it is this ability that makes them love truly.

Take a look at some accounts of women who can give life, but they are still unable to love. How many mothers are guilty of killing their own children? How many abuse and neglect them? Being female does not mean that you are the only one who loves truly. Any parent is capable of loving their child, but both mothers and fathers alike are capable of not loving as well. Being able to bear a child does not place you on a pedestal that allows you to be the only sex that can love. Men may not carry the child, but what woman can become pregnant without men? A child is something that is created together, and while we carry and birth them it doesn't mean that we are somehow better than men. You always hear that only women can create life, but this is a narrow and selfish view held by women who have a need for feeling superior to men. Life is created together and no one sex can claim that miracle for themselves.

Lote-Tree

08-25-2007, 05:53 PM

And I was serious (of course with intended sarcasm though)!

:D

Salam Pensive :-)

Peace
Regards,
Lote.

Granny5

08-25-2007, 05:56 PM

I believe that the ability to truely love is a matter of who the person is inside, not if they are male or female. I just don't think that matters. I've known women who have left their children forever and could not care less about their welfare, just as I've know men to do the same. Then I've known parents who have gone through hell to make the lives of their children better. It's the same with a man/woman relationship. (or man/man or woman/woman)
I don't think the sex of a person give that person the ability to love completely. I think it's the heart.

Divine Comedy

08-29-2007, 01:36 PM

I agree to you Granny5.Love is a universal language and if thats philosophy biology blames love on hormones. Basically philosophy and biology prevails in one and all. It does not matter whether you are a man or woman when it comes to love all of us are the same. Its like arguing whether a man or woman dies better.

B-Mental

09-02-2007, 01:11 PM

I can't even comment on this topic without editing every thought. I don't want to have a moderator edit or delete, but why do people start topics like this? Infuriating

Lote-Tree

09-02-2007, 03:51 PM

but why do people start topics like this? Infuriating

To amuse :D and we do desperately need some amusement around here :D

Redzeppelin

09-02-2007, 06:04 PM

I agree with this, however;

Well, of course...

Love is both a feeling and an action. Being in love is a feeling, but it is not the same as the action of love.

The "in love" feeling is known as infatuation. Once infatuation dies down, the true work of "love" begins. Love begins where infatuation ends.

When we act on love, that is like acts of kindness or friendliness, and when those are returned that is the beginning of love. By the way, we do this with objects, too, it's called 'cathecting,' and is a valid form of love.

The Christian concept of "love" makes it clear that it is not something we act upon because we feel kindly or attracted to someone because we're told to "love" our enemies; in that instance, "love" means to do what is in that person's best interest. Sometimes painful things are in someone's best interest.

I think your terminology about the differences of men and women loving is bogus because the process is the same for each. Give love, receive love, grow, etc.

I'm less than half concerned about how you feel about my terminology. Men and women do not experience, process, and understand love the same way because our psyches and emotional makeups are radically different. Psychology has clearly established that. If we both experienced it the same, I doubt we'd have the difficulties we see between couples. Men and women universally struggle in relationships, partly because we do not understand what the other person wants or needs in terms of "love."

This is so localized, generalizing and bland...it is not even a 'rule' since there are probably large percentages in many different categories that are nothing like what you describe here. This is not how the genders are. It is maybe how some are, and even some stereotypes, maybe. But there are different nations, cultures, ages, all different types of people...you say that love is not a feeling, and then you consider an orgy to be the most powerful experience of love. Why not a mutual heroin experience? A love letter? A hug? A shared evening, or shared music? A shared life?

OK, so you disagree. My reading and my experience suggest my conclusions. Your hysterical overstatement of my point about men and sex suggests that you don't really want to take the issue seriously. So be it. Why don't you come up with a counter-argument instead of being sarcastic next time?

Anyway, at least you agree that obviously both can experience deep love..

I suppose so.

NikolaiI

09-02-2007, 07:02 PM

No worries, Red. Have a nice life.

mosimo

09-24-2007, 10:01 PM

Women Love is like the Ocean full of salt and completely on drinkable. Men's like a little pond capable of quenching the thurst of many and never claiming any lives.

You cannot compare the way men and women love. Men and women are like two seperate creatures

A woman will many times show her love though passion and small acts. While men like doing dig physical things. Any man who is truly in love would willingly die for their love by taking the blow. While a woman would die for their love out of sorrow and by trying to nurse them back to life.

drunkenKOALA

09-25-2007, 01:04 AM

"reach their gender's potential" lol

*Classic*Charm*

09-25-2007, 02:32 PM

Only women can love truly. Men just want to use women.

Even in a married couple the woman usually loves her husband more than he does her.

Oh Baki, that's a very cynical thing to say. May I ask what makes you think so?

I have a question for Redzeppelin, if he's still around!! I understand what you were saying to Nik, but what do you think about the "love" a person has for something other than another person, such as an animal? Do you believe that the phyiscal aspect of love prevents one from truly loving anything but another?

Granny5

09-25-2007, 02:36 PM

Oh Baki, that's a very cynical thing to say. May I ask what makes you think so?

I have a question for Redzeppelin, if he's still around!! I understand what you were saying to Nik, but what do you think about the "love" a person has for something other than another person, such as an animal? Do you believe that the phyiscal aspect of love prevents one from truly loving anything but another?

Great question Classic. I wonder about Red's answer, too.
And Baki, a man can love his wife as much as his wife loves him..ask Virgil or Poppy or Pen.