Do you have athing for old guys/ young guys?

[SleepyWitch]

hey, hi, howdy,
this is a thread for girls and gay men only: do you have a thing for old guys or young guys? I mean significantly older/younger than yourself? (+/- ten years doesn't could as "old", "young", provided they're over 18).

does this go only for your celebrity crushes, fave actors etc or is your real life partner older/younger?

please take the poll :) you can pick more than one option and it's anonymous, but if you want to share your stories you're more than welcome :)

come on my fellow perverts, this your the time to come out :) it's now or never :)

as for me: my real life boyfriend and future husband is only one year older than me (27) but all my celeb crushes are old guys: Patrick Stewart, Alan Rickman, Anthony Hopkins, DeForest Kelley :blush:

[Lote-Tree]

as for me: my real life boyfriend and future husband is only one year older than me (27) but all my celeb crushes are old guys: Patrick Stewart, Alan Rickman, Anthony Hopkins, DeForest Kelley :blush:

I wonder what would Freud has to say on this? :D

[SleepyWitch]

I wonder what would Freud has to say on this? :D

yeah.. I don't wanna know, really :) I'm sure it would spoil the fun

[Niamh]

celeb crushes are older than me- Joseph Fiennes for example!:blush:
My boyfriend is older than me
I've gone out with older guys also. (one was 13 years my senior)
and i could imagine going out with older guys!:p

[SleepyWitch]

celeb crushes are older than me- Joseph Fiennes
is that the one whose pic you posted in the Celebrity Crushes thread? his eyes look exactly like those of his bro.
by the way, how do you pronoucne Fiennes? Fines or FeeEness or something totally different?

edit: oops, it was manolia who posted that pic. which one is the one in the pic?

[Virgil]

Given that the average age here is around 20, and going by your +/- 10 years criteria, do you think any 20 year old girl is going for a 10 year old guy? :p

Hey I feel left out of this poll. :bawling:

And then that means that one has to be around 30 to qualify as an old guy. What am I then at 45, a grandfather guy? :bawling: :p

[SleepyWitch]

Given that the average age here is around 20, and going by your +/- 10 years criteria, do you think anything 20 year old girl is going for a 10 year old guy? :p

Hey I feel left out of this poll. :bawling:

And then that means that one has to be around 30 to qualify as an old guy. What am I then at 45, a grandfather guy? :bawling: :p

oh, poor Uncle Virgil. in which way do you feel left out of the poll?
should I have included guys who fancy grannies? i thought this is much less common than the other way round and also I find it inexplicably yucky and don't want to think about it at all (I know I'm very intollerant and it's not fair..)

or would you prefer an option "I fancy Virgil" :D (votes two years after the poll was started: still zero :D) weeeeheeee, sorry :p don't be cross, please

[Niamh]

is that the one whose pic you posted in the Celebrity Crushes thread? his eyes look exactly like those of his bro.
by the way, how do you pronoucne Fiennes? Fines or FeeEness or something totally different?

edit: oops, it was manolia who posted that pic. which one is the one in the pic?
yes he was in celeb crushes.(manolia) Pronounced Fines:blush:

[BibliophileTRJ]

girls and gay men only:

Unlike Virgil I feel very much included in this poll..... thank you.

I've definitely got a thing for older guys.... I've never dated anyone younger than me & rarely dated anyone around my age (and not for very long).

Every significant relationship I've had has been with someone 10-15 years older... this last relationship was an anomaly in that he was only 8 years older.

Younger men are too unpredictable. Give me a man that's been around the block once or twice that knows what he's doing, what he wants, and how to go about getting it.

p.s. salt and pepper hair and specially beards are VERY sexy!

[SleepyWitch]

Younger men are too unpredictable. Give me a man that's been around the block once or twice that knows what he's doing, what he wants, and how to go about getting it.


heehee, my bf (27 y/o) is a model of predictability, reliability, marriageability etc.. but then, he's a housewife, so he doesn't really count, I guess :)

[Niamh]

heehee, my bf (27 y/o) is a model of predictability, reliability, marriageability etc.. but then, he's a housewife, so he doesn't really count, I guess :)

Mines clueless......

[BibliophileTRJ]

heehee, my bf (27 y/o) is a model of predictability, reliability, marriageability etc.. but then, he's a housewife, so he doesn't really count, I guess :)

Does he have a queer brother for me?? I gotta find me one of those!


Mines clueless......

Clueless in what way?

[white camellia]

celeb crushes are older than me- Joseph Fiennes for example!:blush:
My boyfriend is older than me
I've gone out with older guys also. (one was 13 years my senior)
and i could imagine going out with older guys!:p
The older one.

[SleepyWitch]

Does he have a queer brother for me?? I gotta find me one of those!


hehe, friend of mine asked the same question (minus "queer"; she's a girl) and the answer is, nope, he's got a straight sister who is lazy and messy

[papayahed]

Bib, yet again we are on the same page. (I must be a gay man as well)

I have always had a thing for older men. Always. I've dated a guy 20 years older then me, which is weird because he is my Mom's age. The man I have a thing for now is only 3 years older then I am, the one before that was 15 years older.

I once dated a guy younger then me but that didn't last long.

[stephofthenight]

lol, ive never dated anyone under 17. period. its pretty amusing, the newest guy in my life is 15 years older then me.

[white camellia]

lol, ive never dated anyone under 17. period. its pretty amusing, the newest guy in my life is 15 years older then me.
Hi, steph, how do you feel about this big difference of age?

[Granny5]

Men that are 10 years older than me are dead, or might as well be.....Sean Connery is and has always been my guy.
The list of younger men is way too long to post.
I'm sure the only reason we are both still married is because Jon Bon Jovi just hasn't met me yet!!!

(just kidding, Poppy)

[Idril]

I much prefer older to younger. I did date a younger guy once but he was only a year younger so I don't think that really counts. I would be way too self-conscious dating a man who's contemporaries were young hot babes, no thank you. :lol: Older men are more confident, generally speaking, more competent at living their lives, more focused...older is definitely the way to go .

[Madhuri]

Men that are 10 years older than me are dead, or might as well be.....Sean Connery is and has always been my guy.
The list of younger men is way too long to post.
I'm sure the only reason we are both still married is because Jon Bon Jovi just hasn't met me yet!!!

:lol: :lol:

[Virgil]

oh, poor Uncle Virgil. in which way do you feel left out of the poll?
should I have included guys who fancy grannies? i thought this is much less common than the other way round and also I find it inexplicably yucky and don't want to think about it at all (I know I'm very intollerant and it's not fair..)

Well, I can't vote, that's how i feel left out. Well, when I was 23 I dated a girl who was 27. I wouldn't have considered that a granny. And we do have grannys here on lit net, so i would be careful about exposing your intollerance. :p


or would you prefer an option "I fancy Virgil" :D (votes two years after the poll was started: still zero :D) weeeeheeee, sorry :p don't be cross, please
Well, that sounds good, but I don't think my wife would approve. ;) I'm not cross, just pulling your leg. :p Oh by the way, my wife and i are the same age.

[stephofthenight]

Hi, steph, how do you feel about this big difference of age?

lol it doesnt bother me,i like him. and hes more mature then the guys my age there all pathetic slobbering horny jerks...:D he actualy makes me feel beautifull. so it works

[Niamh]

Does he have a queer brother for me?? I gotta find me one of those!



Clueless in what way?

I every way possible. :p bit of a homer simpson.

[Themis]

hey, hi, howdy,
this is a thread for girls and gay men only: do you have a thing for old guys or young guys? I mean significantly older/younger than yourself? (+/- ten years doesn't could as "old", "young", provided they're over 18).

does this go only for your celebrity crushes, fave actors etc or is your real life partner older/younger?


Older guys, definitely. They're much more interesting than guys my age. This goes for celebrity crushes and real life ... men. ;)

[BibliophileTRJ]

I every way possible. :p bit of a homer simpson.

D'oh!! That's not a nice thing to say about the man you love (even if it's true).
You better go home & give him some extra lovin' tonight to make up for your evil ways! ;)

[Niamh]

D'oh!! That's not a nice thing to say about the man you love (even if it's true).
You better go home & give him some extra lovin' tonight to make up for your evil ways! ;)

:lol: now now Tim! :p

[Bakiryu]

Guys my age are immature jerks. Older guys are much interesting nowadays. And can carry out a decent conversation.

[NickAdams]

Hey I feel left out of this poll.

I feel left out too, but you can always go with that both guys are ugly.:lol:

As I mentioned in another thread: I think Ashley Judd and Diane Lane are something to lust after.

I've dated younger and knew, biblical toning down, older women. My wife is two years younger than me. My celebrity crush, Natalie Portman, is a year older.

[Virgil]

I feel left out too, but you can always go with that both guys are ugly.:lol:

As I mentioned in another thread: I think Ashley Judd and Diane Lane are something to lust after.

I've dated younger and knew, biblical toning down, older women. My wife is two years younger than me. My celebrity crush, Natalie Portman, is a year older.

You're married Nick? :eek: You seem so young.

[NickAdams]

I'm twenty-five. A lot of fine authors published their first novel by twenty-five. I've been married 15 months. Writing is as demanding as marriage and focusing on one, neglects the other. As Faulkenr said, "If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate: The 'Ode on a Grecian Urn' is worth any number of old ladies."
Just don't tell my wife.;)

[Virgil]

Ah, that first year of marriage. That was tough. :p Like being in a twilight zone. :alien:

[pellegrino]

Being married is like holding a wolf by the ears: It may not be the optimun situation, but you mustn't let go. Being old myself and remarkably well preserved, I've had the experiences women tend to find exhilirating but none too stabilizing. That love that we experience in novel situations is no marker for happiness, merely the knowledge that we are new to someone and in some sense new to ourselves. But for sustained spiritual growth, you must love one and one alone.

[NickAdams]

Ah, that first year of marriage. That was tough. :p Like being in a twilight zone. :alien:

I find the "terrible twos" to be tougher. We had a terrible argument last night over a hair cut.


That love that we experience in novel situations is no marker for happiness, merely the knowledge that we are new to someone and in some sense new to ourselves. But for sustained spiritual growth, you must love one and one alone.

'Tis why opposites attract temporarily, but commonality is everlasting.

[Virgil]

I find the "terrible twos" to be tougher. We had a terrible argument last night over a hair cut.


You maybe right. One year, two years, it's all a blurr to me. I've been married 16 years. ;)

[NickAdams]

You maybe right. One year, two years, it's all a blurr to me. I've been married 16 years. ;)

16: You're a saint! :lol:

[Lote-Tree]

There is something wrong with stats on this page! 70% of women like Older men? Thats just disgusting!!! :D

[Niamh]

There is something wrong with stats on this page! 70% of women like Older men? Thats just disgusting!!! :D

yes well i'm sure 70% of you men prefare a woman who is slightly younger so it kind of balances out.

[Lote-Tree]

yes well i'm sure 70% of you men prefare a woman who is slightly younger so it kind of balances out.

But stats don't add up Niamh - see for yourself :D

[NickAdams]

You're right. That's way over 100%.

[manolia]

It's a multiple choice poll ;)

By the way, i can't believe that i am the only one (till now) who voted for "I can imagine dating someone much younger" :confused: I mean, not now!! I am only 26, but i am sure that i'll never have a liking for much older guys (when i grow older) ;)

[Themis]

It's a multiple choice poll ;)

By the way, i can't believe that i am the only one (till now) who voted for "I can imagine dating someone much younger" :confused: I mean, not now!! I am only 26, but i am sure that i'll never have a liking for much older guys (when i grow older) ;)

Hm. I think my liking for older guys started with my liking of celebrities who, naturally, were much older than I.
But really, older guys _are_ much more interesting. I know guys my age are boring, younger men must be hell. (Except if they're handsome. I could make an exception for someone handsome - except nobody (my age or younger) is these days. So, older guys it is. ;) )

[Virgil]

Let me start some controversy. Older guys have more money than younger guys. And we all know that women are more attracted to male status, and money is a sign of status.

[Granny5]

Let me start some controversy. Older guys have more money than younger guys. And we all know that women are more attracted to male status, and money is a sign of status.

And older guys are already potty trained!:lol:
I would think that most women, including me, would want a man
who would be responsible and able to take care of himself.
Also, I would think that older men would be ready to
settle down for the right reasons, not just hormones.

[Themis]

Let me start some controversy. Older guys have more money than younger guys. And we all know that women are more attracted to male status, and money is a sign of status.

My, did you have to mention this? We could have pretended to know nothing of such things forever. ;)


But for me, it wouldn't be important. A man could start earning his fortune after he's met me.

[Virgil]

And older guys are already potty trained!:lol:
I would think that most women, including me, would want a man
who would be responsible and able to take care of himself.

You mean take care of you. :p



My, did you have to mention this? We could have pretended to know nothing of such things forever. ;)


But for me, it wouldn't be important. A man could start earning his fortune after he's met me.

Yes I mentioned it and I know it's true. Not important to you? Hmm Hmm. I bet. ;) :D How many women you know marry down financially?

[papayahed]

Yes I mentioned it and I know it's true. Not important to you? Hmm Hmm. I bet. ;) :D How many women you know marry down financially?

yep, I find it to be the same phenomenon as old guys buying sports cars and implants for their much younger girlfriends.:D

[Virgil]

yep, I find it to be the same phenomenon as old guys buying sports cars and implants for their much younger girlfriends.:D

Yeah we all know why guys do that. That's no surprise. But the real story is that women prefer to be taken care of and that's why they go for older men.

[papayahed]

Yeah we all know why guys do that. That's no surprise. But the real story is that women prefer to be taken care of and that's why they go for older men.

It would help me understand why that's the real story if you could explain what you mean by "being taken care of"?

Isn't dating and marriage about taking care of each other?

[Virgil]

It would help me understand why that's the real story if you could explain what you mean by "being taken care of"?

Isn't dating and marriage about taking care of each other?

In a lopsided sort of way. :p

From Psychology Today:


Women Marry for Money
Your earning power may determine whether or not she'll say "yes."
By Dan Schulman

When a survey popped this question: "Will you marry?" to 700 women living with their boyfriends, one out of four responded, "I won't." And it seems a man's earning power may affect a woman's decision to wed.

Sociologists Pamela Smock, of the University of Michigan, and Wendy Manning, of Bowling Green State University, found that socioeconomic status is a key factor in a cohabitating woman's expectation of marriage. An analysis of a survey of family growth reveals that women living with men of lesser economic means and lower levels of education were less likely to anticipate marrying their current partner.

Smock explained that while the expectation of marriage is almost 80 percent for white and Hispanic women with high levels of education and income who live with men of equally high socioeconomic standing, this probability falls to 50 percent when women of this same status are paired with men of low socioeconomic means. Among African-American women in this same stratum, this probability drops from 70 percent to 42 percent.

Their study finds that experience is also linked to a waning expectation of marriage. Smock and Manning note that a woman who has been married prior to a live-in relationship shows 59 percent lower odds of expecting to wed her current partner; a woman who has cohabitated before is 49 percent less likely to anticipate a walk down the aisle.

The findings come as the number of opposite-sex cohabitating couples continues to climb from 1 million in the late '70s to 4.7 million in this decade. Smock attributes this in part to a growing acceptance of premarital sex.

http://psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20030505-000002.html

[Virgil]

And from Forbes Magazine:


Does Money Make You More Attractive?
Dan Savage Why do beautiful women keep marrying Donald Trump?

Most people--at least most people who aren't billionaires or supermodels--will answer that question with an insult directed at the latest Mrs. Trump. It's an insult that probably can't be printed on this Web site, but it rhymes with "Because she's a bore."

We know why rich men marry beautiful women: for the sex, naturally enough, maybe even the love, as well as the companionship and perhaps the social status that marriage confers on a companion. (Grown men, particularly wealthy ones, can have mistresses, but there's something childish about a billionaire with a girlfriend.)

No one cuts women who marry rich men the same slack. We refuse to believe they honestly find these men attractive--after all, the men they're marrying are usually decades older and long past their looks-good-in-the-light-naked expiration date. Models and actresses who marry obscenely wealthy men, everyone agrees, must be interested in the money alone, and the power and the status it brings. They get through the sex by gritting their teeth or thinking of other, more pleasant things. (Like, say, their new credit limits.)

Maybe I'm filled with the milk of human kindness, or perhaps I have a soft spot for supermodels--I'm a gay man, so I have at least one soft spot for supermodels--but I actually believe that it's possible for a beautiful, young woman to fall in love with an obscenely wealthy older man.

Women are sex objects, the old saying goes, and men are success objects. Women, fairly or unfairly, are judged on their looks, and men, fairly or unfairly, are judged on their money, their power and their status. [Snip]
You can read the rest here: http://www.forbes.com/2006/02/11/savage-money-sex_cz_ds_money06_0214savage.html

[papayahed]

Women Marry for Money
Your earning power may determine whether or not she'll say "yes."

I think your making a huge leap from not marrying below education and socioeconomic level to "wanting to be taken care of". Do you have another article that talks about how many women quit they're jobs and lay around the house eating bon-bons after they get the ring?

[Virgil]

I think your making a huge leap from not marrying below education and socioeconomic level to "wanting to be taken care of". Do you have another article that talks about how many women quit they're jobs and lay around the house eating bon-bons after they get the ring?

I guess I don't, but I know it happens and I know women marry up financially as a general rule. Don't you think that to be true? I'm thinking of all the married couples I know and I can't think of a woman who married down. How many women lawyers or doctors do you know that married garbage collectors?

[Granny5]

Virgil wrote: "You mean take care of you."
I don't need anyone to take care of me. I earn my own living and I do my own laundry. I mean that older men I know go into a relationship not expecting the female to wait on them and just be concern with the man's needs/wants. They seem to understand that it's a two way street.

As for marrying up...that $700 gross monthly my hubby was making sure was a move up when we got married..I was a waitress and made that much in a week.


Poppy, now go fix me a cup of coffee!!

[Virgil]

I mean that older men I know go into a relationship not expecting the female to wait on them and just be concern with the man's needs/wants. They seem to understand that it's a two way street.


Why do you say that? It's my experience that men of all ages expect women to wait on them. ;) Plus younger men fall foolishly in love and repond to women's whims. :p Older men with money know there's always another younger woman with big boobies around the corner. :D

[papayahed]

I guess I don't, but I know it happens and I know women marry up financially as a general rule. Don't you think that to be true? I'm thinking of all the married couples I know and I can't think of a woman who married down. How many women lawyers or doctors do you know that married garbage collectors?

Do you think it's only about money? Couldn't it be about compatability? shared experiences? Social Circles? How often do doctors hang out with garbage collectors? Seriously, a doctor is going to worry about her man being able to take care of her?

[Scheherazade]

I guess I don't, but I know it happens and I know women marry up financially as a general rule. Don't you think that to be true? I'm thinking of all the married couples I know and I can't think of a woman who married down. How many women lawyers or doctors do you know that married garbage collectors?Maybe it is men who are refusing/against the idea of marrying up... Maybe the garbage collector is so insecure in his masculinity that unless he marries someone who is financially 'inferior' to himself, he won't be happy.

Not to mention the compatiblity issues, of course.

[Virgil]

Maybe it is men who are refusing/against the idea of marrying up... Maybe the garbage collector is so insecure in his masculinity that unless he marries someone who is financially 'inferior' to himself, he won't be happy.

Don't think so at all. That garbage collector would say he hit pay dirt if he married a lawyer.


Do you think it's only about money? Couldn't it be about compatability? shared experiences? Social Circles? How often do doctors hang out with garbage collectors? Seriously, a doctor is going to worry about her man being able to take care of her?

Well, according to the Psychology article:

Women Marry for Money
Your earning power may determine whether or not she'll say "yes."
By Dan Schulman

When a survey popped this question: "Will you marry?" to 700 women living with their boyfriends, one out of four responded, "I won't." And it seems a man's earning power may affect a woman's decision to wed.

I guess you're right for about 25% of women. The other 75% go the other way.

[Granny5]

Why do you say that? It's my experience that men of all ages expect women to wait on them. ;) Plus younger men fall foolishly in love and repond to women's whims. :p Older men with money know there's always another younger woman with big boobies around the corner. :D

Oh Virgil, now you've really depressed me. After 33 years of marriage and three kids, the girls just ain't what or where they used to be.:bawling: :bawling: Now I don't know if I should let Poppy go to Wal-Mart by his self.

[Virgil]

Oh Virgil, now you've really depressed me. After 33 years of marriage and three kids, the girls just ain't what or where they used to be.:bawling: :bawling: Now I don't know if I should let Poppy go to Wal-Mart by his self.

:lol: :lol: I'm just having a little fun. But there is an element of truth here. I remember the guys with the fancy cars always had the girls when i was young.

[Granny5]

You know you're right and I know you're right, I just don't want to think about it!! But it's always been accepted for older men to take trophy wives and it's always been frowned upon for older women to take trophy husbands.
I've always heard that older women and younger men were physically more suited for one another than older men and younger women. But I guess certain drugs have evened the playing field. And I've never seen a young woman married to a successful man leave him for a ner' do well.

[papayahed]

Well, according to the Psychology article:


When a survey popped this question: "Will you marry?" to 700 women living with their boyfriends, one out of four responded, "I won't." And it seems a man's earning power may affect a woman's decision to wed.

I guess you're right for about 25% of women. The other 75% go the other way.

"seems" and "may"? Pretty concrete science you have there.

You've got me there Virgie. Us women only want a man to take care of us, we were only kidding when we marched and protested for the right to vote. All us professional women long for the days of pearls and dresses where our biggest concern was what to make for dinner.

[Granny5]

"seems" and "may"? Pretty concrete science you have there.

You've got me there Virgie. Us women only want a man to take care of us, we were only kidding when we marched and protested for the right to vote. All us professional women long for the days of pearls and dresses where our biggest concern was what to make for dinner.

papayahed, let's go all the way while we are longing.....and be concerned with what the cook will make for dinner. If I'm getting a man to take care of me I want one who will take care of me in the manner I wish I was used to.:lol:

[Virgil]

"seems" and "may"? Pretty concrete science you have there.

You've got me there Virgie. Us women only want a man to take care of us, we were only kidding when we marched and protested for the right to vote. All us professional women long for the days of pearls and dresses where our biggest concern was what to make for dinner.

Hey I didn't conduct the survey. Perhaps 700 is not statistically significant, but it does jive with common eperience. But why is it then that women prefer older men? Certainly a 25 year old male model is better looking, but a 25 year old woman will prefer 35 year old guy. With money of course. :p

[Janine]

Granny and Manolia, I agree with you. I usually am attracted to men from 5 to 10 yrs younger than myself. I dated men up to 10 yrs younger, when I was in my early 30's; might not have lasted, but I had a lot of interesting experiences and I found some of those men quite mature/intelligent at the time. We were just not meant for each other in a long term relationship. I don't look my age anyway, so the whole idea never struck anyone as so unusual. Ok, then I dated guys my own age later in my life, say after 35, till now. You know what? This is what I found out - they are no more mature or ready for commitment. I found that age really did not matter that much.
As you put it Granny, at our age, many older guys, by say 10 yrs, are dead...let me add...or have major health issues, are impotent and consume Viagra in large quanities (actually makes them hornier) or are on their last legs, dying. My sister married an older man and he is no more mature than the younger guys I know. He seems to have more money - but you know what? That too could be gone in an instant since he is not so responsible at times and he gives my sister a lot of grief. She seems far more mature than he does, hands down!

I don't know about you, but I am not really interested in a guy with one foot already in the grave. Also, I found them to be lazy, real 'couch potatoes!' My last boyfriend was one year younger than I am, and he got so he had little incentive at times and was quite set in his ways, never willing to compromise or bend, or even lend me a hand when we ran a business together.

If they are divorced at say age 57 - 67 (my age to 10 yrs older) they don't want to make another mistake and usually they are broke from alimony or child support, if they are a widower, they are overly anxious to remarry and so unrealistic about it; it kills me - compatibility means little to them. I don't get it at all. One guy keeps telling me that 'opposites attract' and that both his deceased wives were complete opposites to him. Well, guess what - won't work for me Mr! He is also a year younger than me. Both guys I knew - he and my former boyfriend - were not financially secure if you came right down to it. They lived from paycheck to paycheck and they also had tons of bills; the older they are the more credit card balances they have acrued that still needed to be paid! Oh yes, they are always working on paying it off...sure thing. They always have a sad story of how the ex took them over or how the deaths cost them so much and they just can't seem to get back on their feet.
Now the man who never married or had a steady relationship may be actually the world's worst! He is super set in his ways and does not want anyone to upset his apple cart.


Well, all this is merely my opinion and my own experience (may sound pretty bitter), but I dont' see a thing wrong with going out with a man who is 5-10 yrs younger than myself. He would only be 52 - 47 - big deal. If he is not mature by that age, then chances are he will never be mature. If I look back to a relationship I had 15 yrs ago, the one I had just 5 yrs ago, does not seem anymore advanced in the final analysis, as far as the guy was concerned and his level of maturity and sense of stability.

Hey Virgil, where are these wonderfully well to do guys with sports cars - the doctors, lawyers, etc? I think you have been watching too many films or too much TV.
Be real - if I want a man with a cane/walker who is consuming large amounts of Ensure and Viagra, yes, great - the older man sounds wonderfully exciting.

Papayahed, I agree with you - other factors are way more important and significant than money. It all depends on where the individual puts his values - money or quality. Some real jerks I know have money - so what? I am no way interested.

[Virgil]

Oh Janine, here I am having fun and you bring in some seriousness. :p Where are those guys with the sports cars? I see them driving around the neighborhood. Here you go:

http://www.carstuckgirls.com/blonde_girl_mustang_convertible_stuck_009.jpg

[NickAdams]

Women are attracted to stability. Women are still coming out of the shadow of men. Sure it worked when the world was more violent and child bearing can disable a womens defense, so a male provider was needed. Things are changing though. Women in the armed forcer are protecting us, although I don't think they are able to enroll in infantry yet. There are women supporting men now. This isn't accepted fully though- by both genders. Either they are satisfying a motherly need or the man is worthless. I see this changing in the future ... far furture. The world just needs time to forget the old ways.

But women are attracted to stability and this is why they can't be knight errants.;) :lol:

[Janine]

Virgil, Well, yep that seems to be the Hollywood jet set image (stereotype), alright... but it's all fluff... airhead bleach blonds in mini shirts, anorexic probably, with high-heels get those guys with a red sports car; of course, the guys are all bald or have a buzz cut and usually are not at all attractive, but they have the bucks. Why do the guys I meet have old lady cars or vans or SUV's?You are killing me now...you're really making me laugh! I think I need to move out west, or to the desert or to Europe....dye my hair/loss weight, work out/maybe lift weights, get a tatoo, a mega tan/even a face lift, maybe some new boobs.... hahahha. Yeah, I will start on my total makeover tomorrow. Sell my books and anything else I won't need anymore (becoming an airhead) and join the jet set. What do you think?

Seriously, if you find someone compatible and you both really 'click' I don't see anything wrong with dating a younger man, having a meaningful relationship with him, or even marrying him.

[NickAdams]

Seriously, if you find someone compatible and you both really 'click' I don't see anything wrong with dating a younger man, having a meaningful relationship with him, or even marrying him.

I'm with you. If she's seventy and he's twenty, I don't mind if their happy. Hey, even if they're not happy, it doesn't have an effect on me, so why would I be outraged.

[Janine]

Nick, that is so true - stability and having ones head on ones shoulders and knowing oneself and feeling right about the person they are as a man is more important to me than all the money in the world! I will never be rich probably, because I think this way. Equality between a man and a woman has no age factor. I would prefer to meet a man, at any age, who truly has his act together and feels right about himself. Needy is not attractive to me. So far it has not happened and if it has the man was already in a good solid relationship and very happy and settled, devoted, which is something I admire in those relationships.

[NickAdams]

Nick, that is so true - stability and having ones head on ones shoulders and knowing oneself and feeling right about the person they are as a man is more important to me than all the money in the world! I will never be rich probably, because I think this way. Equality between a man and a woman has no age factor. I would prefer to meet a man, at any age, who truly has his act together and feels right about himself. Needy is not attractive to me. So far it has not happened and if it has the man was already in a good solid relationship and very happy and settled, devoted, which is something I admire in those relationships.

You can still be rich, by your pursuits and not some silly mans.;)

The misconception is: if women are attracted to stability, how would they know. It's the result of money, but not money. A career. Something that proves their longevity. When a guy has this it shows. by the way he dresses and other ways too.

I'm wondering how my wife became interested in me. :lol:

[Janine]

I always say I am rich in friends, Nick. Your love one should be your best friend. Yes, quality (of the man) and not quanity(monetary). A man has to possess certain traits for me to be interested in him to begin with. I have a criteria and I don't want to be coerced into some relationship just to furfill the needs of that particular man, who I might not feel compatible with at all, in which case I would not be attracted to as a result. This goes without saying, but even if he were rich and established, if not compatible I would not be interested. Compatibility is a big factor for me and it is attractive to me, as well. How else can two people form a lasting bond or communicate effectively? Two people have to meet on equal ground and if I find someone who I feel compatible with and I feel I am their equal in intelligence and appreciation of life, I don't think 'age' will ever be a huge factor. I would probably draw the line at 10 yrs younger than myself; that seems reasonable; now that I am older, realistically I would like a relationship with a man about 5 yrs younger, but I would not limit myself to younger than that either - older can be nice, too, it depends on the man. Either way why not try it out and see? Always keep an open mind and not limit oneself to older/younger or same age men only, why not? Just wait and see, but be open to new possibilities in your life.
Hey girls, your odds increase if you keep an open mind always.

[Virgil]

Tell me she finds him handsome?

http://www.proscriptpm.com/images/photos/oldManYoungWoman.jpg

She finds his bank account handsome. :D

[Lote-Tree]

She finds his bank account handsome. :D

Money is indeed an aphrodisiac!

Just like Power is :D

[Granny5]

But true love is a little more than money or power. I think certain people have a certain chemistry that attracts certain others. At least, I hope it's more than what a man can give a woman in worldly goods. Maybe the money/power attracts but then it grows into something deeper.

[manolia]

Virgil, Well, yep that seems to be the Hollywood jet set image (stereotype), alright... but it's all fluff... airhead bleach blonds in mini shirts, anorexic probably, with high-heels get those guys with a red sports car; of course, the guys are all bald or have a buzz cut and usually are not at all attractive, but they have the bucks. .

Yep, i agree ;) It happens in real life, though ;) I have certain examples in mind..and i believe that people who go after somebody else's money usually are treated badly and i believe thay kinda 'deserve' the treatment they get. It is very bad, in my opinion, to let yourself be dependent.

[papayahed]

Hey I didn't conduct the survey. Perhaps 700 is not statistically significant, but it does jive with common eperience. But why is it then that women prefer older men? Certainly a 25 year old male model is better looking, but a 25 year old woman will prefer 35 year old guy. With money of course. :p

What common experience? It's common that women are gold diggers?? I don't think I like what your implying.

[Lote-Tree]

Maybe the money/power attracts but then it grows into something deeper.

Perhaps very rarely - money is the root of all evil ?

[Psycheinaboat]

Virgil is one of my
celeb crushes. :)

[Granny5]

What common experience? It's common that women are gold diggers?? I don't think I like what your implying.

Oh Virgil...you've really done it now!:lol:

[SleepyWitch]

good old Mr Virgil, always got some entertaining stereotype up his sleeve.. what would we do without him?


riiiight, who of you cowards voted "bah, I'll have to throw up! thanks Sleepy" ;)

[Themis]

Yes I mentioned it and I know it's true. Not important to you? Hmm Hmm. I bet. ;) :D How many women you know marry down financially?

Not that important. I - - won't say anything else because I just realized it will definitely prove your point. ;)

[Janine]

Yep, i agree ;) It happens in real life, though ;) I have certain examples in mind..and i believe that people who go after somebody else's money usually are treated badly and i believe thay kinda 'deserve' the treatment they get. It is very bad, in my opinion, to let yourself be dependent.

Manolia, I totally agree and I have seen it happen before - 'unhappiness' is the result and a state of being 'trapped', for the woman. I could not stand this personally, no matter how much money the guy has or how impressive he is or how secure. I would throw up like Sleepwitch! I should have designated that with a check, too.

And Virgil, I think you are looking at film stars and sterotypes only and not people who have a sense of honor or geniune charater and other qualities. If you take those statistics you keep mentioning I would like to see the ones that counteract those, such as how many of those people actually stay together and have good relationships.

Sorry Virgil, but I agree with Papayhed when she stated: "What common experience? It's common that women are gold diggers?? I don't think I like what your implying." Like I said you are looking at sterotypes and generalizations.

And NO, I could not go for someone who looked like my grandfather!...ick...do they put a bag over their heads when they go to bed?:sick: Please....how can they possibily be attracted to sagging flesh? I can't envision a man 10 yrs older than me being someone I would be attracted to, unless he was really well-preserved (watch next week I will probably meet the man of my dreams and he will be at least 10 yrs my senior!:lol:). There has to be some kind of real physical attraction added into the whole equation, too. Personally I think these babes have cute young boyfriends on the side.;)

I wanted to ask also, why there were no answers like 'same age', or why it said 'much younger' or 'much older'? - there are a lot of possibilities in between.

Wow, this thread is already up to 6 pages long...how funny.:lol:

[Mortis Anarchy]

Virgil is one of my
celeb crushes. :)

Haha...sorry, this made me giggle.

Uhh, okay...whenever I find someone attractive it doesn't mean I'm going to date them...for the most part I've been interested in guys from my age to 22/23...so its not really a big difference in age. I've had CRUSHES on oldER men, but never like, "Wow, thats the guy I've got to marry" or whatever.

Gold diggers? Uh,no! Man, that bothers me. Can men be gold diggers? I think so.

My cousins, or the ones that are married have married men older than themselves...as in 10-15 years older than them.

[Virgil]

Virgil is one of my
celeb crushes. :)
:blush: :blush: Thank you Psych.



Haha...sorry, this made me giggle.

And why may I ask? :p :p

[Virgil]

What common experience? It's common that women are gold diggers?? I don't think I like what your implying.
No I'm not saying it's consciously done. I think women are wired to look for men who can support them. Wired to look for men with status. Hey, I don't think that any woman around here is going to marry any man that's on welfare, no matter how good looking. On the converse, men marry poor women routinely, as long as they're attractive. Actually case in point, my friend married an immigrant woman with a son, so a single mother with no money. I'm not saying it's this simple, because all relationships are complex, but she has big boobs. :D


Oh Virgil...you've really done it now!:lol:
Yeah, I know. I thought it was getting boring around here. :)


good old Mr Virgil, always got some entertaining stereotype up his sleeve.. what would we do without him?

Stereotype? Then why do women go for men with fancy cars, corporate executives, and superstar wimpy actors, dumb athletes, and ugly rock stars? :p

[Mortis Anarchy]

:blush: :blush: Thank you Psych.



And why may I ask? :p :p

I dunno, it was funny...my first thought was you...but then I was like, well what if Psych is talking about THE Virgil...but even then, I still thought it was funny.

Don't worry Virgil your my #1 celeb crush too!:D Now Psych has some competition!;) Haha!


No I'm not saying it's consciously done. I think women are wired to look for men who can support them. Wired to look for men with status. Hey, I don't think that any woman around here is going to marry any man that's on welfare, no matter how good looking. On the converse, men marry poor women routinely, as long as they're attractive. Actually case in point, my friend married an immigrant woman with a son, so a single mother with no money. I'm not saying it's this simple, because all relationships are complex, but she has big boobs. :D


Yeah, I know. I thought it was getting boring around here. :)


Stereotype? Then why do women go for men with fancy cars, corporate executives, and superstar wimpy actors, dumb athletes, and ugly rock stars? :p

Watch it with the ugly rockstars. 'Cause, Jim Morrison is TOTALLY not on the list of ugly rockstars.

I can't say that I've noticed men that drive by in cool cars...nope, I haven't. Plus with me, I DON'T want to rely on anyone. Thats been my problem during school, I never ask for help because it makes me feel weak. I LOVE being able to do things without having to rely on anyone! Why do I have to base my security on someone else when I can be the one supporting myself. Isn't that what getting a career is about? Sure not everyone wants to do that, but I don't the majority of women gravitate towards men with more security. Us Women folk are just as resilient and smart and goal oriented and are capable of taking care of themselves with or without men.

GIRL POWER!:D

Now, I don't mind the fact that both men and women rely on each other for help when it is needed or whatever...or for affection, etc. That I understand and support. And I support women that choose to take care of their families, cause thats tough work, I've seen my mother and grandmother...and they are tough cookies!

[Virgil]

Watch it with the ugly rockstars. 'Cause, Jim Morrison is TOTALLY not on the list of ugly rockstars.

I can't say that I've noticed men that drive by in cool cars...nope, I haven't. Plus with me, I DON'T want to rely on anyone. Thats been my problem during school, I never ask for help because it makes me feel weak. I LOVE being able to do things without having to rely on anyone! Why do I have to base my security on someone else when I can be the one supporting myself. Isn't that what getting a career is about? Sure not everyone wants to do that, but I don't the majority of women gravitate towards men with more security. Us Women folk are just as resilient and smart and goal oriented and are capable of taking care of themselves with or without men.

GIRL POWER!:D

Now, I don't mind the fact that both men and women rely on each other for help when it is needed or whatever...or for affection, etc. That I understand and support. And I support women that choose to take care of their families, cause thats tough work, I've seen my mother and grandmother...and they are tough cookies!

Great post Mortis. Perhaps I'm stepping out of my tongue-in-cheek mode, but I completely agree. All except the Jim Morrison thing. :p

[Janine]

Yeah - Girl Power! I fully agree with all you said Mortis A. For me I think for rock star it would have to be Bon Jovi - he is still pretty cute.

I have been thinking today that in this thread - it all depends on where you are standing. If you are young - say 20 - 25 it is totally understandable that you would look towards older men - maybe 5 - 10 yrs older. But if you are where I am at 57, I don't think there is anything wrong with looking at both possibilies. As we age the age gap gets narrower and there is not that much difference in someone 5 yrs different than me either way. I think as we get older we also are more open-minded to whatever works.

I wanted to say that I hope I have not offended any men on here who might be 10 yrs older than me - are there any? I was generalising a bit too and did not mean to bash older men. If I did, so sorry.

[papayahed]

No I'm not saying it's consciously done. I think women are wired to look for men who can support them. Wired to look for men with status. Hey, I don't think that any woman around here is going to marry any man that's on welfare, no matter how good looking. On the converse, men marry poor women routinely, as long as they're attractive. Actually case in point, my friend married an immigrant woman with a son, so a single mother with no money. I'm not saying it's this simple, because all relationships are complex, but she has big boobs. :D


Or is it that women have to date older, more successful men because the ones that earn the same or less are intimidated by our success?

[applepie]

No I'm not saying it's consciously done. I think women are wired to look for men who can support them. Wired to look for men with status. Hey, I don't think that any woman around here is going to marry any man that's on welfare, no matter how good looking. On the converse, men marry poor women routinely, as long as they're attractive. Actually case in point, my friend married an immigrant woman with a son, so a single mother with no money. I'm not saying it's this simple, because all relationships are complex, but she has big boobs. :D

Stereotype? Then why do women go for men with fancy cars, corporate executives, and superstar wimpy actors, dumb athletes, and ugly rock stars? :p

:lol: I have to agree with you Virgil. It may be a stereotype, but I believe women are wired to choose who they think will be the best parent, and provider. Back in the day it would have been based on skill at hunting and such, but, taking into account that times have changed, men no longer have to be a good hunter. You just have to be able to buy it. I'll be the first to admit that marriage didn't even cross my mind until my hubby joined the military and I knew he was financially secure. It isn't materialistic (well I don't think it is), but I needed to know that he could help support us financially. As it is, he's worked his bum off for four years now so I could raise our children and get my degree.

Have you ever heard the phrase that "Like will marry like"? I think it still holds true. People with similar upbringing, values, and social status tend to stick together. It doesn't always happen that way, I didn't stay within my "class" if you want to call it that, but I still married a man who wanted the same type of lifestyle I was already accustomed to. Plus, if you ask any of the men whom I call friend and they will tell you that I don't think like a normal woman most times. Maybe that is where there is the discrepancy;)

[Virgil]

Or is it that women have to date older, more successful men because the ones that earn the same or less are intimidated by our success?

Frankly I don't know any men who would not prefer to have a wife bring in more money than he. Geez, I know engineers who's wives are lawyers or doctors, and they're not complaining. There was a time where my wife surpassed me in salary and position (I've caught back up and passed her :p ) for a few years. So what. I was proud of her.


Have you ever heard the phrase that "Like will marry like"? I think it still holds true. People with similar upbringing, values, and social status tend to stick together. It doesn't always happen that way, I didn't stay within my "class" if you want to call it that, but I still married a man who wanted the same type of lifestyle I was already accustomed to. Plus, if you ask any of the men whom I call friend and they will tell you that I don't think like a normal woman most times. Maybe that is where there is the discrepancy;)

Yes, there is something to that, "like will marry like" but there are enough examples of people who don't economically. I do think people will gravitate to a certain mentality and that mentality usually translates roughly to a lifestyle and cultural disposition. Perhaps that's a better way to phrase it than "class" though I know what you mean.

[papayahed]

Frankly I don't know any men who would not prefer to have a wife bring in more money than he. Geez, I know engineers who's wives are lawyers or doctors, and they're not complaining. There was a time where my wife surpassed me in salary and position (I've caught back up and passed her :p ) for a few years. So what. I was proud of her.

I was believing you until you had to put the caveat in that now you were making more then your wife.

And quite frankly I know many men who find out what I do and get "that" look in their eyes and run the other way.

[Virgil]

I was believing you until you had to put the caveat in that now you were making more then your wife.

That's was just from a competive play that she and I had. Like I said, I was proud of her and still am.


And quite frankly I know many men who find out what I do and get "that" look in their eyes and run the other way.
Really? I'll have to ask the female engineers around here what's their experience. What do these guys do? Actually some of that happens the other way around too. I think it's mostly as hockenberry says, being from a different mentality. They'll have to start getting used to it. More women now graduate from college than men. I look in the local paper at the marriage notes and I notice quite a bit of woman collefge graduate professional marrying a blue collar type of guy, especially police or fireman.

[Granny5]

My hubby loves it anytime I get a raise. If I ever make enough, he'll retire and fish all the time. I make more than him, but if he feels threatened, it's all the way to the bank or to the lake. Why would it matter who makes more, it all goes to the same bills anyway!

[Annamariah]

My celebrity crushes are older men, but then on the other hand I'm only 19 years old, so most famous people are considerably older than I am.

I COULD imagine dating an older guy, but I'd rather have someone close to my age. Not much younger, though. Not one who's born in the 90's :D

[Petrarch's Love]

Just to weigh in on this whole Papayahead/Virgil debate as to whether intellectual/powerful women scare off men, I have had personal experience that, with at least a certain percentage of men, this is definitely the case. I often dread telling a guy that I'm studying to be a professor, and sometimes opt at first to say more vaguely that I'm going into teaching because I've had several guys looked distinctly turned off by the notion of dating an "intellectual" woman, and more than one tell me flat out that they don't want to be with a woman who they think is smarter than them (even when they're smart professional men themselves). Having exchanged dating stories with fellow academics who are either professors or in a PhD program like myself, I find that the majority of the men I talk to find that being a "brain" is, if anything, a plus for them when dating, whereas most of my girlfriends have the same experience I do, that a fairly sizeable number of men find it off putting. The women in my program (and other smart professional women friends of mine) and I often talk about feeling pressured to dumb ourselves down in romantic situations, and I never hear my male colleagues talking about that as a problem.

To speak to the topic of the thread, I've never dated anyone more than ten years older. I do, however, think the above problem is one reason I nearly always date men a few years older than me. They're more mature and confident and less likely to feel needlessly intimidated simply because of the profession I'm in. Dating slightly older men certainly has nothing to do with their money in my case (can't speak for others), since I've never contemplated getting married until I was settled in my career and able to support someone if it was necessary. If anything a house husband would be awfully nice once kids came along. ;)

[Mortis Anarchy]

I would consider dating someone older than me...I'm not sure about 10 yrs. older than me...I guess I just want someone that I can have fun with...talk, travel, art, books...make me laugh. I want a little energy...but I wouldn't date anyone younger than me...that would be illegal and I'm not really interested.

My age I could handle, but I guess for now I've just been looking a men that are anywhere around 1-5 yrs. older than me.

I guess I can understand that SOME women marry men that are secure because they need that security, but I just don't believe that every woman is wired that way. My mom told me that I need to marry a man that can stay at home while I work...I think she's been planning my wedding since elementary school:p

But, quick question...it kind of goes along with the same idea...Do guys find it offense or stupid if their fiancee wants to keep their last name? I told my friend that I wanted to and he said that that would be like removing a mans manhood or whatever. (Pah-LEASE, don't be so dramatic Bryan...thats what I told him).

Oh, just a note, my friends boyfriend well he works at a Wal-Mart type store...well he makes
$8.60, when I mentioned that I might take up a job that pays be $13.50, he got all distant and jealous like because I was offered the job without applying and would be making more than him when he is already older. So, there yah go.

[Virgil]

Just to weigh in on this whole Papayahead/Virgil debate as to whether intellectual/powerful women scare off men, I have had personal experience that, with at least a certain percentage of men, this is definitely the case. I often dread telling a guy that I'm studying to be a professor, and sometimes opt at first to say more vaguely that I'm going into teaching because I've had several guys looked distinctly turned off by the notion of dating an "intellectual" woman, and more than one tell me flat out that they don't want to be with a woman who they think is smarter than them (even when they're smart professional men themselves). Having exchanged dating stories with fellow academics who are either professors or in a PhD program like myself, I find that the majority of the men I talk to find that being a "brain" is, if anything, a plus for them when dating, whereas most of my girlfriends have the same experience I do, that a fairly sizeable number of men find it off putting. The women in my program and I often talk about feeling pressured to dumb ourselves down in romantic situations, and I never hear my male colleagues talking about that as a problem.

Like I tried to say before, it happens in reverse too. Non-intellectual women get put off by brainy men. I think you're interpreting it as a gender related thing when I think it's people of different mind set. As Hockenberry says, like attracts like. Perhaps the collorary would be unlike repels unlike. :D




But, quick question...it kind of goes along with the same idea...Do guys find it offense or stupid if their fiancee wants to keep their last name? I told my friend that I wanted to and he said that that would be like removing a mans manhood or whatever. (Pah-LEASE, don't be so dramatic Brian...thats what I told him).

Oh, just a note, my friends boyfriend well he works at a Wal-Mart type store...well he makes
$8.60, when I mentioned that I might take up a job that pays be $13.50, he got all distant and jealous like because I was offered the job without applying and would be making more than him when he is already older. So, there yah go.
Well, is he shocked that you would just get more pay than him because you did it without applying or because you're a girl? I bet it's the former.

Frankly I think a woman should take a man's last name. I think a family should be cohesive and have the same last name and the tradition has been that in this country at least that the woman changes her name over. I guess it would be OK if he changes his instead, but I do think a family should all have one last name. Many women keep their maiden name as a middle name. That seems like a good comprimise.

[Mortis Anarchy]

Like I tried to say before, it happens in reverse too. Non-intellectual women get put off by brainy men. I think you're interpreting it as a gender related thing when I think it's people of different mind set. As Hockenberry says, like attracts like. Perhaps the collorary would be unlike repels unlike. :D



Well, is he shocked that you would just get more pay than him because you did it without applying or because you're a girl? I bet it's the former.

Frankly I think a woman should take a man's last name. I think a family should be cohesive and have the same last name and the tradition has been that in this country at least that the woman changes her name over. I guess it would be OK if he changes his instead, but I do think a family should all have one last name. Many women keep their maiden name as a middle name. That seems like a good comprimise.

Uhh, no he is rather...uhm "I'm the man and you are the little Mexican girl" I'm serious, I'm not really friends with him...I don't like him at all...but thats just how he is. He gets put off my people that succeed in life...only because he chooses to be lazy...and dumb. Yeah...

I'm not good with compromises...yeah;) I don't mind adding it on! Like my last name-his last name, I'd even go with his in front of mine or whatever....I like my name! But yeah, I understand what you are saying, I was just shocked at his reaction....so I got curious!

[Granny5]

Virgil, do you pick at scabs, too? You crack me up. I knew you were going to start something here. Anyway, I took my husband's last name because, well, that's just what I did. I married him so why not? He took on my overdue phone bill, so it was the least I could do. My maiden name is my middle name now. I didn't realize how old fashioned I am till I read this thread. lol Anyway, for such a fine poet, and the latest Picture Poetry Contest champion, you sure know how to stir things up!

[Virgil]

Uhh, no he is rather...uhm "I'm the man and you are the little Mexican girl" I'm serious, I'm not really friends with him...I don't like him at all...but thats just how he is. He gets put off my people that succeed in life...only because he chooses to be lazy...and dumb. Yeah...

Well, then he's just childish. And somewhat racists too. My heart goes out to the Mexican people here. They work so hard and are so dedicated to their families. Reminds me of my family, who were immigrants by the way.


Virgil, do you pick at scabs, too? You crack me up. I knew you were going to start something here. Anyway, I took my husband's last name because, well, that's just what I did. I married him so why not? He took on my overdue phone bill, so it was the least I could do. My maiden name is my middle name now. I didn't realize how old fashioned I am till I read this thread. lol Anyway, for such a fine poet, and the latest Picture Poetry Contest champion, you sure know how to stir things up!
:lol: I just thought I'd have a little fun. To be honest I stretched things a bit to stir things up, but there is an element of truth in it all. :)

[papayahed]

My Best Friend and her husband discussed the name change before they got married, he told her he didn't care either way. She decided that she had been Sally Peabody (names changed to protect the innocent) all her life why change now. So she decided to keep her maiden name. As it turns out her husband didn't care about the name as long as she took his. That darn male ego again, why do they always have to claim everything? Label what is "theirs".

[Virgil]

My you do paint a wide sterotypical brush don't you?

In what way? Are you saying Mexican people don't work hard as a general rule?

[papayahed]

Dang it Virgie!! :blush: I edited my post so as to avoid arguing this point, but you beat me to it.

No, my intent was not to say Mexicans do not work hard.

You've labeled a whole group of people with two characteristics, It's not as easy as that. The last thing I'll say about this is that my own experience in this particular matter couldn't be further from the truth, which is probably why I bristle at your generalizations.

[papayahed]

I guess I can understand that SOME women marry men that are secure because they need that security, but I just don't believe that every woman is wired that way. My mom told me that I need to marry a man that can stay at home while I work...I think she's been planning my wedding since elementary school

In grade school I clearly remember a teacher telling us "You can marry a rich man just as easily as a poor man". It seemed very weird at the time.

[Virgil]

Dang it Virgie!! :blush: I edited my post so as to avoid arguing this point, but you beat me to it.

No, my intent was not to say Mexicans do not work hard.

You've labeled a whole group of people with two characteristics, It's not as easy as that. The last thing I'll say about this is that my own experience in this particular matter couldn't be further from the truth, which is probably why I bristle at your generalizations.
I guess I'm confused as to what you're referring to here. Come on Papaya, I'm teasing a bit on this women thing, you know tongue in cheek. You're not really angry at me are you?


In grade school I clearly remember a teacher telling us "You can marry a rich man just as easily as a poor man". It seemed very weird at the time.
:idea: Ha, she was wired that way. :lol:

[papayahed]

[QUOTE=Virgil;433896]I guess I'm confused as to what you're referring to here. Come on Papaya, I'm teasing a bit on this women thing, you know tongue in cheek. You're not really angry at me are you?


Not angry. Certain generalizations sometimes strike a nerve.

[Mortis Anarchy]

Well, then he's just childish. And somewhat racists too. My heart goes out to the Mexican people here. They work so hard and are so dedicated to their families. Reminds me of my family, who were immigrants by the way.


:lol: I just thought I'd have a little fun. To be honest I stretched things a bit to stir things up, but there is an element of truth in it all. :)

To be honest, you are one of a very small group of people that I know that have said this. Its kind of hard to talk about this without going into politics, but yeah...he is childish, he is racists and he is soooooo annoying(and dumb).

But I'm still firm with the idea that every person is different and yes they may have some of the more traditional ideas/whatever 'wired' into their systems, but for the most part, I think people are different. I've never really taken into consideration the security part...I've just grown up thinking that I was going to be the one that was supporting myself, not someone else. Well, obviously during childhood and now since I still live with my parents, but once I'm gone....its me. My mom married my dad and then never really went to college or anything...she did some courses, but nothing formal. So she really regrets not getting a college degree and have the tools or ability to be able to take care of herself. But I think given the circumstance she could, of course. But I think she has just always told me that being able to and actually supporting yourself and not having to rely on someone else is a great thing and should not be ignored. I mean, I'm all for marriage and stuff, maybe not so traditional...(Name changing etc.) but I've always thought of myself having a career, and I don't plan on changing that either. If I marry a man who has a great career, cool. If not, cool. Either way I'm fine! I hope this isn't random or whatever...and my point is made.

Now I'm over analyzing things. So, do people marry for love then? Or do they just marry for security reasons? I don't think my mom only married for security reasons...they seem all lovey-dovey or whatever. I think I'm just tired and rambling now because of it. I'll shutup.:)

[Annamariah]

But, quick question...it kind of goes along with the same idea...Do guys find it offense or stupid if their fiancee wants to keep their last name? I told my friend that I wanted to and he said that that would be like removing a mans manhood or whatever. (Pah-LEASE, don't be so dramatic Bryan...thats what I told him).

I'm planning to keep my own last name if I marry. But I also think that in a family it would be good if everyone had the same last name, so I'll just have to persuade my future husband to take my last name :D

My aunt's husband took her name when they got married.

One of my friends is planning to get engaged with her boyfriend, and they've already discussed the last-name-thing. Both of them would want to keep their name, but they also think that both should have the same last name. Afer discussing about this for a very long time her boyfriend suddenly said (angrily :D): "Okay then, I'll take your name, if it's so important to you." He really loves her :lol:

[babyface123]

I want to marry a man that will love me for me and be faithful and I would take his last name...Heres a hard question, if you have all daughters, wouldnt you want one of them to take down the family's name? Hopefully I'll have a boy and girl some day.

I would date an older man, but I'm not into young guys...

[Dori]

One of my friends is planning to get engaged with her boyfriend, and they've already discussed the last-name-thing. Both of them would want to keep their name, but they also think that both should have the same last name. Afer discussing about this for a very long time her boyfriend suddenly said (angrily :D): "Okay then, I'll take your name, if it's so important to you." He really loves her :lol:

There's one easy solution. They could always hyphenate their last names (take each others names in addition to theirs). I guess then the argument would be whose last name would go first...:lol: