His Wings

[DraketheFallen]

My eyes glaze, what beauty I see...
I feel a blazed, yet the beauty they are...
I am amazed, at the beauty he shows me...
These feathers of a maze, I'm lost already...
What is to fear? How can you fear the black welcome?
For they are the beauty of his wings...

[Pendragon]

My eyes glaze, what beauty I see...
I feel a blazed, yet the beauty they are...
I am amazed, at the beauty he shows me...
These feathers of a maze, I'm lost already...
What is to fear? How can you fear the black welcome?
For they are the beauty of his wings...There is something off with this poem, Drake. In the first four lines, you seem to want to rhyme the word "glaze", which is fine, except the line "I fell a blazed..." is totally ungrammatical and makes no sense. In line five, you use the word "fear" twice within a eleven word line. That isn't going to work. Use anothe synonym for the second time. I think I'm getting a bit of the picture, accepting the darkness because you feel the light has failed you. maybe?

I wouldn't throw any poem I had written away. If it's worth writting, it's work fixing if it needs tweaking. Good luck!

Pen

[DraketheFallen]

Thank you for the corrections, I'll edit the poem to be more grammatically fitting though I will try to keep the feeling of the poem there. I wrote it 2 years ago and it has been a while since I read it. God how I pray I have improved my grammar.