Blood Bought

[Pendragon]

Perhaps a bit unrealistic for todays world, so travel back in time...

Blood Bought

Somewhere beyond the sacred shores of innocence,
When the battleground is scarred and running red—
The warrior pauses for a pregnant moment of remembrance—

Wondering how the words whispered in the silence came down to this,
Dreaming of the days when they laughed and played upon the bed.
Somewhere beyond the sacred shores of innocence,

The tears in his eyes, cheeks crimson as if burned by a furnace,
He finally begins to see the path down which their own transgressions lead.
The warrior pauses for a pregnant moment of remembrance—

He sits and holds his head with in his hand trying hard to seek forgetfulness,
He cannot not look at the body without feeling cold with dread.
Somewhere beyond the sacred shores of innocence,

He can smell the scent of blood, not the world's most delicate fragrance:
And he worries now that he may have left her cold and dead.
The warrior pauses for a pregnant moment of remembrance—

But she raises up and takes him softly by the hand, telling him this is how all love begins.
And the newlyweds lie back down among the tangled sheets upon the bed—
Somewhere beyond the sacred shores of innocence,
The warrior pauses for a pregnant moment of remembrance—

Pendragon
© 8/20/07

[white camellia]

Wow, Pen, such an epic beginning of love. I was reading it aloud when the scene emerged. I like the topic and your way of making it an echoing song in my head. It just flows. I love those days when men were warriorlike and women virtuous.

He cannot look at the body without feeling cold with dread.

-Love requires great sacrifice.

Thanks for sharing, Pen.

[Granny5]

Pen, Wow.....as I read, I could see the scene in my mind. I love this because it's beautiful. Great Job!

[dibyendra]

Great Pen ! This really took me back to the time of battle scene and made lost in the battle field. I loved your imagination Pen ! Quite wonderful job. :thumbs_up

[Pendragon]

Thanks, guys. I hesitated to post this one, I wasn't sure how people would take it, would they see what you obviously saw, or think me some dirty old man. That was indeed what I wished to convey, was the days when men were strong and often shaken from battle and to women, virture was precious, to be shared with a life mate only. The shock of first love bringing forth blood probably shocked many unprepared males, and their harsh lives could make them think they had killed their mate. The joy of discovering this was not so, and she understood was pure love. That is my poem. Maybe all could not see it like that, but I come from a race of warriors, both in my Native American blood and in my Celtic.

Pen

[white camellia]

Oh, Pen, you have a Native American blood! Great!

Great.

Now, as I read it again, yes, your poem shows that very fact.

Both bloods, Native American and Celtic, are for warriors.


...the days when men were strong and often shaken from battle and to women, virture was precious, to be shared with a life mate only.

!

[Niamh]

Pen that was wonderful. I felt how the worrior feared he'd hurt his bride, as all he could associate blood with was battlefields and death. Such beautiful imagery!

[ampoule]

I would have never thought of you as a dirty old man with this poem. It's as if you are the director of a fine movie and I was transported back in time to the scene, one that made me a little tense from remembering, but somewhat erotic at the same time. Maybe I'm the 'dirty' one. hehehe

I did stumble over the word pregnant, the same as I did with the word menstrual in another poem. That's not to say it shouldn't be used. It just surprised me.

[CdnReader]

This is beautiful, Pen. Very moving! Thanks for sharing this vision. :)

[TheFifthElement]

I did stumble over the word pregnant, the same as I did with the word menstrual in another poem. That's not to say it shouldn't be used. It just surprised me.

I also paused over the word pregnant, but more because I thought that it was the cliche'd phrase 'pregnant pause', but then as the subject matter evolved I realised that it was anything but. Nicely done.

I did stumble over this line though:


But all that he can smell is the blood and it is not the world's most enjoyable fragrance.

It's just to wordy, and doesn't flow like the rest of the poem, somehow it's a bit too clinical.

Like ampoule I didn't think this poem in any way 'dirty', I think you handled the subject matter gracefully, and like the gentleman you appear to be.

[firefangled]

This is beautiful, Pen. Again an effect use of the form as well. But mainly a very poignant story told.

[Pendragon]

I did stumble over this line though:

But all that he can smell is the blood and it is not the world's most enjoyable fragrance.
It's just to wordy, and doesn't flow like the rest of the poem, somehow it's a bit too clinical.


I thought you made a good point, Fifth. Try it now, I think I fixed that.

Pen

[TheFifthElement]

Yes, I think it flows much better now. Like the use of 'delicate' here, which gives it a light touch.