Free Novel to Tear Apart

[MCory1]

Just thought someone here might be interested in this; it's a novel I wrote that (for personal reasons) I've stopped trying to get published. You can get it at my blog mcory.wordpress.com/free-novel-like-glass; it's a PDF file, about 3.5 MB (it's the full novel, ~275 pages + cover art, hence the size).

Any comments or questions are appreciated, either here or through the blog itself.

[cows]

Just want to let you know, I'm gonna read it and I'll be posting.

[Mortis Anarchy]

Yeah...I'll be reading it sometime as well.:D Don't give up!! Go with the little indie book publishers! Thats what a buddy of mine did.

[NickAdams]

After reading the introduction, I was weary of you're confidence as a writer. I read a few paragraps. I had a good chuckle. I'll fit it in with my other commitments.

One other thing: the voice feels like a first-person narration, but it's not. Its to early to tell if its third or omni. It feels very casual and subjective, but I am not being addressed by the protaganist. Maybe I'm getting ahead myself.

[MCory1]

I truly hope you all enjoy it. I know asking someone to read a full novel is a bit imposing, so if you can get to it then great; if not, I understand perfectly.

I've considered going with indie/small presses, but I just can't sell to save my life. I could write the greatest novel ever written, but a query or submission letter would just kill it before it even starts. For what it's worth, even after querying probably over 100 agents and publishers, the MS itself was never rejected. It was never requested either, of course, but...

Confidence is something that comes and goes; some days I'm the greatest writer to ever touch a pen and paper (in my mind, at least); other days I wouldn't feel comfortable writing a shopping list. The only way I feel comfortable trying to ask anyone else to read it (friends and family, even, not just agents or random people on the web) is by trying very hard not to get anyone's hopes up, hoping myself that they'll not only take it but be pleasantly surprised when they do. Every time I've tried other approaches, it just feels arrogant and pretentious.

The narrative is third person, and I don't think it would qualify as omni as it's entirely from Rob's (the main character) POV. The way I looked at it was a first person narrative told in third person (if that makes sense). And it is supposed to be casual; one of the things that's kept me from trying to push it as literary fiction is that it was intended to be more...accessible? Like you're listening to a friend talk over a few drinks instead of reading a novel. Of course, I still haven't quite figured out what constitutes "literary", so I just consider literary to be more formal, more artsy. I'm probably about 90 miles off base with that, but...

I really appreciate the responses so far; if there's any questions or comments, by all means let me know.

[NickAdams]

Don't be so apologetic. Publishers won't think a book could sell, if you're not sure. Stephen King's book On Writing has a nice cover letter for publishers that you can customize. If you don't have it, I can send it to you.

It's one way to handle the third-person limited. Mann did something similiar in Magic Mountain; I found it a bit intrusive, but I guess it's how you handle it. Beckett does it well.

I don't find it imposing, because I like to critic and edit, not to say I plan on doing the former. I guess it's a joy of the failing writer. Makes you feel like you're still connected to art. As Beckett said: "Ever try. Ever fail. Try again. Fail better."

[grace86]

Was a bit intrigued and so I downloaded your novel. It seems pretty good so far. I'm not one who usually reads contemporary fiction but I do like how this starts off (think I am on page four :lol:)

Don't put yourself down okay. Not many people could write 275 pages worth of anything. It's an accomplishment.

[MCory1]

Thanks for the offer Nick, but On Writing is already in my collection and one of my favorites -- just because I like King, if nothing else. When I read it I wasn't terribly concerned about publishing, just wanting to read it and see what he had to say for himself; I may look over it again keeping that in mind (or at least find the letter you're referring to).

Grace: I'll try not to; I've spent my whole life trying to avoid sounding arrogant (and failing quite often I admit), and I've gotten well past the point where I go in the other direction. I keep trying to tell myself almost exactly what you said: writing a novel is an accomplishment in its own right, sold or not, and one not too many people can claim.

This one wasn't hard to write though, it just kinda happened -- I was working from home at the time, and it found its way in when I had breaks (and before long when I didn't have breaks). Before I knew it I wrote "The End"; it didn't feel like I'd really done anything special. (Don't get me wrong; it was a great feeling, but not like I'd just reached the peak of Everest or something.)

Now that I'm trying to write Book #2 though, I am slowly starting to see it in a different light :)

[SleepyWitch]

Hi MCory, wow, 257 pages is quite a lot! i wish I had the sticking-power it takes to actually write a complete novel (no matter how crappy it is :D).
could you post an excerpt here? maybe the beginning?
sorry I'm too lazy to visit your page at the moment :)

[grace86]

I am halfway through your novel and I like your characters very much and the story kind of sticks on you.

Just a couple of non structural comments to add here...

I noticed you used the word "diplomatically" a bit much. I like its use because I haven't heard it used in other novels I have read, so I think you have chosen a good word, but maybe the number of times it is used is just much. It was a word I found myself remembering from Rob's other smiles. ;)

And then there is the words loose and lose. I think you might have used them interchangebly. Cannot go and find the sentences to quote right now, but when you wanted to say something like "I don't want to lose my money," you put the word loose in, which is like loose change. Or so I think it goes that way...hmm.

Took a minute to get used to your style of writing. I enjoy the narration very much, I actually probably wouldn't have noticed how you narrated it had it not been for other litnet members. Dialogue was a little harder to understand at first. As Janet said something in quotes, immediately after her line Rob's reaction took the rest of the line. So for a minute I had a hard time figuring out who was the history major and who was the music major. Nothing big though, I think it is just your style.

Hopefully I don't seem nit picky. I rather enjoy your novel very much. Ended up reading quite a bit of it here at work (sssh!).

Rob seems to have such a personality. His personality is so different too when you look at him from the past getting so nervous before the concert, then to the part in the airport with the purple dinosaur Toby.

You are a very good writer.

[MCory1]

Sleepy -- I'm afraid I don't have time to post an excerpt right now, though perhaps tonight or this weekend. Of course, you could download it yourself and have the whole thing to go through... :)

Grace, thank you for your comments. It does sound a little nit picky, but I'm still very thankful for it -- I haven't had any feedback on this since I wrote it, and picking at nits is still great. I don't have much time, but I want to respond to a couple of the smaller points from your post.

First, "diplomatically" -- I'm using it as a short hand for "doing it only because you know it's the 'right' thing to do, and most definitely not because you want to do it." He smiles like that when he doesn't like someone but knows to do otherwise would be rude, basically. It probably was over done, I won't argue that at all.

Loose vs. Lose is something I think I'll always have problems with, but I don't feel terribly bad about it -- the book was run through Microsoft Word's spell/grammar check probably twenty times since I wrote "The End", and it never caught it. A short story I wrote had the same problem, even after I went back specifically to look for that particular error only. For some reason, that extra 'o' just forces its way in and hides from me.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the luxury of a professional editor/proofreader (or an amatuer one for that matter), so you'll probably find quite a bit more similar errors.

I'll need to go back and take a look at what you're referring to regarding the dialog; it doesn't stand out in my mind right now, but I don't doubt that it might be a little rough around the edges.

Thanks again for the comments!

[grace86]

Hope I was not too critical, that was not my intention. Just trying to point a couple things out in an effort to be helpful. Sorry! :)

I like how you go about dialogue (sp??) it is different than what I've seen before. Maybe that does have something to do with how you narrate the novel. But I was just pointing out that at some moments it is a bit confusing....or maybe that's just me. :blush:

[MCory1]

Your comments were definitely appreciated -- like I said, I haven't had any feedback at all since I finished it, so even typos and whatnot are welcome. No worries.

[MCory1]

I hope that last post didn't come off sounding as bad as it looks to me right now; I was at work when I posted it and was trying to hurry. Didn't mean to sound rude.

Sleepy -- I haven't forgotten about you (though I'm sure by now you've either given in and downloaded it or moved on to other interests). I only now had enough time to dig through and find a decent excerpt to throw in.

This is the first scene from chapter two; chapter one has a bit more profanity than I feel comfortable dumping into a message board post (it isn't dripping with swear words necessarily, I just don't want to put them up here).



Rarely was Bill one to try and set Rob up with a date. Occasionally he’d find a girl that might be interested in his younger brother, or that he thought Rob would like, but it invariably became another conquest of his own. Knowing that made this blind date seem all the more interesting as Rob walked in the late April evening to a coffee shop on Los Valles Avenue, tucked away in one of the lower-rent areas of town and only a few blocks from his apartment.

He knew the coffee shop somewhat well; he’d spent a handful of evenings there on the patio outside, sipping the cheapest special they had at the time and smoking while other students came and went. Sometimes he’d sit there with a book or two studying for a test when he got tired of staring at the walls of his apartment; sometimes it was just somewhere to go.

Had it not been for Bill’s insistence that this girl was Absolutely Perfect for Rob he wouldn’t have gone; blind dates were not exactly his idea of how to best spend a Friday night. However, knowing that Bill was hardly one to exaggerate when it came to issues of the fairer sex, Rob set aside his books for the night. He put on the single pair of dress pants he owned and a shirt that was only slightly wrinkled, and made his way in a mixture of curiosity, anticipation, and the God-I-can’t-believe-I’m-doing-this self consciousness that stems from blind dates.

While he walked, he tried picturing the “devilishly hot” girl that would be waiting. It was difficult, as “devilishly hot” had been all that Bill had given him to work with. He tried for a moment to think of past girls that Bill had so designated, and knew it was pointless at the size of the list he made with only a moment’s thought: one-hundred pound brunette waifs, athletic blondes, and even a redhead that had been at least twice Rob’s size had all fit that description from his brother at one time or another. He gave up trying and left Ms. Absolutely Perfect to the fates.

He opened the door to the coffee shop, the aroma of cappuccinos and lattes filling the air, suddenly aware that he couldn’t remember the girl’s name—Missy, Trixie, Kristy, something like that. He wasn’t terribly worried though; he knew he could play it off by looking around stupidly and making it obvious that he didn’t know who he was looking for. She’d come up to him and say “Rob? Hi, I’m…” and fill in the blank for him.

The interior of the shop was deserted, save for one rather large guy about Rob’s own age, staring intently at a text book as though it held the secret to the universe. If the guy in the corner was Bill’s idea of an Absolutely Perfect girl, this would most likely be a fairly short-lived blind date.

Seeing no other patrons and no specials marked on the black board above the counter, he ordered a regular coffee from the barista, and briefly considered between the fancy glass ashtrays with the coffee shop’s logo on it and the plain, disposable tinfoil ashtrays. Knowing he’d do best to keep his risks for embarrassment to a minimum, he chose one of the disposable ones. If he did happen to drop it when she arrived (as of course he would, always the lady killer), he figured the tinfoil was less apt to shatter on the concrete than the glass ones. With his smoking paraphernalia decided on, he took a seat outside to begin what he hoped was a short wait.

[grace86]

Your comments were definitely appreciated -- like I said, I haven't had any feedback at all since I finished it, so even typos and whatnot are welcome. No worries.

No worries. ;)

Almost done reading it.

[MCory1]

Been a while -- just wondering if there's any further comments or anything. The book's still up at the URL in the first post; anyone who hasn't taken a stab at it, feel free.

[grace86]

So sorry to keep you waiting. Right now at work I just finished your novel. Goodness it had me in tears! You are a wonderful writer and the ending was beautiful. Please don't stop writing and I hope you get this published one day.

The characters you've created are so real! I loved all of them. As you describe the situations and such, they too seemed so real - as if I were actually there.

Thank you so much for sharing your novel with us. You did a wonderful job.

[MCory1]

Sorry it took so long to get back on here -- it's been a rather hectic couple of months and I kinda forgot about this place.

Thanks for the comments grace; they really mean a lot.

No real news on the book for the past couple of months, though I am looking into self publishing (POD). It's still up on my site for free though, if anyone's interested (the url is http://mcory.wordpress.com/free-novel-like-glass/).

Thanks again grace!

[kiz_paws]

Hey MCory, I went to your link, but it is not available.... Glad that you got a good review from Grace, her positive feedback made me curious. Well anyhow, take care and keep writing! :thumbs_up

[MCory1]

Hi Kiz,
Sorry -- I've actually taken the book down because I'm trying to self publish it. It'll be available in another week or so. I'll try and post a notice here, but my memory isn't what it used to be (if it ever was...). I'll probably put sample chapters back up around that time to so you could take a look. We'll see though.

[grace86]

Hi MCory, glad to see you're still around and that you are afterall trying to get it published.

[MCory1]

Just wanted to drop a quick line and say that the book is now available for purchase -- you can get more info at my blog, http://chocolatefordogs.com (http://chocolatefordogs.com/).

Thanks again for your praise grace -- I really appreciate it. Made a big difference in wanting to get it out.

[Hunnii]

I recently had the fortune of reading your expert from chapter two, and I must say, that I am very drawn in to your style of writing. You have ensembled quite an interesting selection of characters and a very neat plot line.
Congratulation on the publication, and best of luck in the future.
I look forward to reading your second novel :)

[MCory1]

Thanks Hunnii -- I appreciate it. And I look forward to my second novel as well, whenever it makes it's way through (been trying to get the time and the energy to coincide for over a year now, and it hasn't happened very well...)

[xtianfriborg13]

It's not available anymore. How do I get access to it?