Sail Away

[CdnReader]

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Sail Away

Sail away with me, my darling, to a misty distant land
We'll ride the waves together....walk the beach hand in hand.
There will be no need for artifice, nor pretense set upon
Masks will be tossed away, and new dreams will be spun.

Let the ocean bring us closer than we have ever been before
The relentless motion of the water upon this magical shore
The pale early mornings....the fiery moonlit nights
Dream with me beyond the horizon...let your spirit take flight.

Come with me, my darling....dream with me as we sleep.
Our love will rise unbounded, our roots will burrow deep.
We'll make a home near the water, palm fronds upon bamboo
We'll gather seeds for a garden, tend it lovingly, me and you.

Keep this dream with you, my darling....as we drift upon the waves
For what would we be without dreams to keep the world at bay?
Close your eyes, my sweet....build sandcastles in the air.
Let peace wash through your body....and remember the joy that awaits us there.

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cdn/22mar07
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[ampoule]

I miss the ocean so much. This poem put me there. Lovely.

[CdnReader]

I adore the sea. Thanks, Ampoule. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

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Sail Away

Sail away with me, my darling, to a misty distant land
We'll ride the waves together....walk the beach hand in hand.
There will be no need for artifice, nor pretense set upon
Masks will be tossed away, and new dreams will be spun.

Let the ocean bring us closer than we have ever been before
The relentless motion of the water upon this magical shore
The pale early mornings....the fiery moonlit nights
Dream with me beyond the horizon...let your spirit take flight.

Come with me, my darling....dream with me as we sleep.
Our love will rise unbounded, our roots will burrow deep.
We'll make a home near the water, palm fronds upon bamboo
We'll gather seeds for a garden, tend it lovingly, me and you.

Keep this dream with you, my darling....as we drift upon the waves
For what would we be without dreams to keep the world at bay?
Close your eyes, my sweet....build sandcastles in the air.
Let peace wash through your body....and remember the joy that awaits us there.

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cdn/22mar07
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[Rude Ango-saxon word]! This is so beautiful! You haven't always allowed your lyric voice out, and how much I enjoyed it here. I especially love how "Sail away with me, my darling," is repeated with variations in the later verses. There is something infinitely enchanting in such repetition, like those precious beats of our heart, one after the other... the measure of life itself!

[CdnReader]

[Rude Ango-saxon word]! This is so beautiful! You haven't always allowed your lyric voice out, and how much I enjoyed it here. I especially love how "Sail away with me, my darling," is repeated with variations in the later verses. There is something infinitely enchanting in such repetition, like those precious beats of our heart, one after the other... the measure of life itself!

*blushing* Oh, thank you so much, dear Jer. I don't play with rhyme and balance very often.... I'm delighted that you approve. Guess I should keep my muse, huh? ;)

[firefangled]

Your gypsy soul is no way near threadbare to have written this. I agree with Prince's comment about the repetition. What makes repetition work for you is the timing of it and this is well done.

Reminds me of my favorite Nora Jones, Come Away With Me.

[Niamh]

that was so beautiful. You muse must be a true part of you soul.

[CdnReader]

Firefangled, thank you so much. I love that Norah Jones tune too. :D

Many thanks, Niamh. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

[jon1jt]

duplicate, disregard.

[jon1jt]

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Sail Away

Sail away with me, my darling, to a misty distant land
We'll ride the waves together....walk the beach hand in hand.
There will be no need for artifice, nor pretense set upon
Masks will be tossed away, and new dreams will be spun.

Let the ocean bring us closer than we have ever been before
The relentless motion of the water upon this magical shore
The pale early mornings....the fiery moonlit nights
Dream with me beyond the horizon...let your spirit take flight.

Come with me, my darling....dream with me as we sleep.
Our love will rise unbounded, our roots will burrow deep.
We'll make a home near the water, palm fronds upon bamboo
We'll gather seeds for a garden, tend it lovingly, me and you.

Keep this dream with you, my darling....as we drift upon the waves
For what would we be without dreams to keep the world at bay?
Close your eyes, my sweet....build sandcastles in the air.
Let peace wash through your body....and remember the joy that awaits us there.

.
cdn/22mar07
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i like the sentiment of the poem, your talk of love and the ocean. i like the line, palm fronds upon bamboo. "how" you say it i've heard it all before.

"mine and burrow my way through these hills" -Thoreau

[CdnReader]

i like the sentiment of the poem, your talk of love and the ocean. i like the line, palm fronds upon bamboo. "how" you say it i've heard it all before.

Ahhh.... but no one said it quite like I did. :D

I'm glad you liked the poem, Jon, despite the shortcomings that seem to trouble you. It isn't my intention to write the most original or most magnificent poem in the history of the universe, nor even in the collection of one day's postings at LitNet.... I use poetry and writing to express and explore my thoughts and feelings, and if others gain some pleasure and enjoyment from it, that's just a bonus. :)

[ampoule]

Ahhh.... but no one said it quite like I did. :D

I'm glad you liked the poem, Jon, despite the shortcomings that seem to trouble you. It isn't my intention to write the most original or most magnificent poem in the history of the universe, nor even in the collection of one day's postings at LitNet.... I use poetry and writing to express and explore my thoughts and feelings, and if others gain some pleasure and enjoyment from it, that's just a bonus. :)

Well, at least he complains in English! LOL :flare: **wink wink**

[Virgil]

I agree, very nice Cdn. It does put us there and it is warm and personal. I have to say that this phrase, "build sandcastles in the air" is a cliche. My favorite stanza is the first:

Sail away with me, my darling, to a misty distant land
We'll ride the waves together....walk the beach hand in hand.
There will be no need for artifice, nor pretense set upon
Masks will be tossed away, and new dreams will be spun.
The language is sharper there. Not that the other stanzas are bad, but I think they are just repeating the same thought as the first and the language seems to be more common, even building to that cliche I pointed out. Perhaps the poem needs to go somewhere, if you know what I mean.

[CdnReader]

Thanks, Virgil. I find that (for me) it's difficult to maintain rhyming schemes, and sometimes it's a struggle to make it all fit. The challenge is to get it written with rhymes intact, without sacrificing the message or the beauty of the words. :) Your comments are appreciated.

[Virgil]

You're welcomed Cdn. But I wasn't talking about rhyming schemes. I meant that the poem might progress to an idea rather than all the stanzas having the same idea. But don't worry about it. It's fine the way it is.

[CdnReader]

You're welcomed Cdn. But I wasn't talking about rhyming schemes. I meant that the poem might progress to an idea rather than all the stanzas having the same idea. But don't worry about it. It's fine the way it is.

Sorry, Virgil. I guess I went off on a different tangent there (trust me...not an unusual occurrence for my scattered brain). I understand what you mean now.... :)