Re-posting old stuff

[Koa]

Since I became a damn show-off, I thought I'd post the first stuff I've ever posted here...cos most of the lovely people who spend their lives on the forum now, weren't here at the time, and well... I'd like you to see these, as I'm not in the mood of posting something new...
I'll also provide the link to the old thread, so you can see how the pre-Abdo days where, when we were told off for going off-topic :D (edit: i can't find that bit but I'm sure it happened somewhere...it wasn't the admin, just some random person).
So for all my fans and new friends...:
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I dream of many imaginary men
I need all of them
but when i get dressed
I think of the only one
who has given me so much

But every effort
to get closer
saw us falling from higher to the ground.

And i'm always in a fight
between an impulse to normality
and the eternal madness of my sky...

We'll never understand each other
this human condemnation:
too many sensibilities
too many conceptions of love.


19/10/02
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=745
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I AM THE MOON

I was the sun
I used to shine in the pale-blue sky
laughing happily
every day of my bright life
melting each sorrow
that came to my way
I slowly went down
and I didn't rise again.

I am the moon
I married the night
I've understood that nothing's bright
so i prefer
to stay here in the black sky
where I feel free
where I can hide
where when I need it I can silently cry.

(March 2000)

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=777
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The Voice Of The Loser

I'm the loser
my taste is bitter
and I know you can't understand my reasons
but believe me, I don't understand yours
I'm loveless
you're satisfied
I'm useless
you feel you're always right
I'm a polemist
I can't help complaining
about everything I see
but when I do that
it's not me
it's just the voice of my restless conscience
that comes over me
and wants to overcome you:
it needs affirmation
and it can't get it
cos it belongs to me
and I'm a loser.

23/01/01

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=976
---------------------------

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1388 Maybe some of you have seen this cos it wasn't that long ago, some of you had joined this party already ;)

Hope it doesn't look too pretentious to make a summary of my previous stuff for those who weren't there... Just thought of getting some more feedback, and some more chats with people like amuse and emma and all the others :)

[emily655321]

I am in total awe of the Moon one, Koa. It gave me chills. :D Its understatedness makes it all the more powerful.

And, just for the record, I totally disagree with Abdo on the "placid" versus "impassive" thing. Placid means peaceful and contented, and that's clearly not what you were trying to get across. In the event that you're still doing revisions on that poem (which I liked very much, btw :)) -- I have a convenient little reference program at the bottom of my screen, and it had these (among other, less appropriate/rhythmic) synonyms:

apathetic -- indifferent
indurated -- unfeeling (literally, made hard)
reticent -- reserved; uncommunicative
insensate / insentient -- devoid of human feeling ("insensate as a stone")
inured -- "made tough by habitual exposure"
obdurate -- unyielding; hard-hearted

[Koa]

I am in total awe of the Moon one, Koa. It gave me chills. :D Its understatedness makes it all the more powerful.




underwhat? :D

Thanks for the words, yep that translation is not official...Anyway everytime I translate anything I never keep it so if I need it translated again I should do it all over from the beginning... Which is maybe why I don't translate often :D

[emily655321]

Understated. :) um...simple, subtle; not flowery or complicated.

[amuse]

1.
so what happened is i read "I married the night" and had to go somewhere, there wasn't enough time to properly respond after reading that line, five free minutes to ruminate/reply was not enough. I AM THE MOON is awesome.
"every day of my bright life
melting each sorrow"
those lines are as beautiful as tears...
"and I didn't rise again."
extremely descriptive, layered, wonderful. you were the moon, you didn't rise, you stayed in bed, your spirits drooped. all of it and more - great.
"so i prefer
to stay here in the black sky
where I feel free
where I can hide
where when I need it I can silently cry."
absolutely wonderful...thinking of all of us who cry in the dark, the night, after the door has closed and the other person is too far away to hear. the comforts of silence, solitude and darkness, which also have the power to kill.
also, the offhand way a couple of those lines barely rhymed is nice; i like the understatement, kind of like nice vellum paper. (don't know if that makes any sense. kind of like being transparent and tangible at the same time.)

2.
something about
"and I know you can't understand my reasons
but believe me, I don't understand yours"
captured me. i would have to reread this to fully get it...on the one hand your voice is very strong, on the other it's an inaudible croak. like you're a loser, but only because you believe that.

3.
i like this:
"but when i get dressed
I think of the only one"
and
"And i'm always in a fight
between an impulse to normality
and the eternal madness of my sky..."
something personal about dressing. when people write about that, it's like seeing you in a mirror, wondering what your another sees. or however! it's well put, especially as he, in your case, is a particular imaginary person. very! cool.
i like this fight between sanity and dreams, the wind and the ground, between freedom and terra firma.
"We'll never understand each other
this human condemnation:"
i like "human condemnation." at first, i almost imagine you'll write "human condition", but this is so apt, and the perfect forerunner to
"too many sensibilities
too many conceptions of love."