Come

[CdnReader]

.
Come

Come.
My hand awaits.
I will bring you with me
to a place of trust
and beauty....

Join me in this glade
where the trees hold hands
high overhead,
and the wind plays
sweet notes of summer.

Follow me to the sea.
The surf will play with your hair,
and we will lie together
in the sand,
waiting for the water
to wash us away.

Come.
Time is motionless...
The world will stop breathing,
and watch us become
together.

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cdn/07apr07
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[Sweets America]

Oh My God I love this!!! You're becoming one of my favorite poets in here, Cdn!
I love the idea that time just stops and that nothing else matters but the love between two beings.

I have a preference for this stanza:
Join me in this glade
where the trees hold hands
high overhead,
and the wind plays
sweet notes of summer.

The images in this poem are very peaceful. Thanks, Cdn!

[Bii]

Cdn this is lovely. I love the image of the trees holding hands, and the third stanza in particular was incredibly beautiful. One minor niggle, which was in the first stanza 'gentle grasp' feels a little cliche'd but then is swallowed by the sheer beauty of the rest of the poem.

There's certainly something special about this one. Thanks for sharing.

[motherhubbard]

I really liked this one. It was soft spoken and lovely. I know I said this last time, but this one is my favorite. Each poem you write is better than the last.

[CdnReader]

I love the idea that time just stops and that nothing else matters but the love between two beings.

Me too, Sweets, me too. Thanks! :)


... in the first stanza 'gentle grasp' feels a little cliche'd ...

Thank you for this comment, Bii, and I decided that I agree. I sharpened up my cliche-plucker and have since removed the offending phrase. ;) I appreciate your assistance! :)


I really liked this one. It was soft spoken and lovely. I know I said this last time, but this one is my favorite. Each poem you write is better than the last.

Oh, thank you SO much, Mother H. It makes me feel all warm and squidgy to read such comments about my poems. :D I do need to point out, however, that this one came from the vaults....written back in April, so I can't take credit for any kind of gradual improvement. More like hit and miss. LOL!

[Pendragon]

Here is where you rope the reader in for good.



Time is motionless...
The world will stop breathing


Lovely. No hanging harps on willows for you, I think!

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

[CdnReader]

No hanging harps on willows for you, I think!


Nor for you, dear Pen.... nor for you.