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Pendragon
08-02-2007, 04:08 PM
Breakout!

It was not manacles that held me inside of that clammy little oubliette,
The walls were silvered-glass with no breaks, doors, nor windows at all.
Hideous distorted images stared back from every surface and called themselves “me.”
I spent most of my time cowering away from them, curled up into a ball.
What I couldn’t comprehend was that reflecting glass only worked in one direction.
They had carried it before them, and hidden behind it, let their poison leech within.
Those were not the mirror image of me, but how others wanted me to think I’d stay.
With whispers and rumors to deface my image and laugh as the damage set in.
I sat up and wiped away tears and years with a brush of my forearm across my vision.
I reached deep into my chi and called on some strength I’d all but let take its last gasp.
I stood to my feet and let my eyes focus for a single moment on the wall of my prison:
I knotted my fist, knowing what once could demolish concrete would make confetti of glass—
There was a howl of many voices, but the twisted reflections just returned a triumphant shout:
The whole box of mirror-glass exploded into minute mirrored fragments, and this prisoner stepped out…

Dale Harris
© 8/2/07

symphony
08-03-2007, 09:32 AM
Poet, you give agitation a voice so real, vivid and strong--
Your pen works out at ease, those sentiments that otherwise long
To burst out, to explode in a blazing wrath, when words appear
To give in-- too weak to hold these emotions so severe…
But your pen is your magic wand,
You leave us all stunned
By a careless swish of your wand.
So hold your quill in your hand,
And be at the top of your voice
When we read and applaud and rejoice.

PrinceMyshkin
08-03-2007, 09:45 AM
Might I suggest that this would be even more powerful if it were laid out as a prose poem, without the line breaks? The latter led me to look for some of the other conventions of poetry such as rhythm, or that the line breaks enhance the drama.

Pendragon
08-04-2007, 09:51 AM
Poet, you give agitation a voice so real, vivid and strong--
Your pen works out at ease, those sentiments that otherwise long
To burst out, to explode in a blazing wrath, when words appear
To give in-- too weak to hold these emotions so severe…
But your pen is your magic wand,
You leave us all stunned
By a careless swish of your wand.
So hold your quill in your hand,
And be at the top of your voice
When we read and applaud and rejoice.Thank you, SY. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

Pendragon
08-04-2007, 09:59 AM
Might I suggest that this would be even more powerful if it were laid out as a prose poem, without the line breaks? The latter led me to look for some of the other conventions of poetry such as rhythm, or that the line breaks enhance the drama.
Well, actually, Jerry I have had terrible luck with writing prose poems. They usually end up as too long for poetry and not quite long enough for a short story. I will admit that the lines are long for a sonnet form. For myself, the rhythm is there, right enough. You wouldn't believe how much of a weight seems to be off of me since I wrote the poem. I have to see if I can tighten it up a bit, for now, it must remain as it is. I appreciate the comments on the power and drama of the poem. Man, you ought to have felt it!

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

motherhubbard
08-05-2007, 06:38 AM
You wouldn't believe how much of a weight seems to be off of me since I wrote the poem. I


It sounds like a weight was lifted and I am so glad to read this.