On My Grave

[Sweets America]

Hello everyone!
Well, here is another poem of mine. As my previous one, it once again deals with love, but in a different way here. I hope you'll enjoy it. If you have suggestions about it, feel free to tell them. I will like any kind of comments. :)

On My Grave

On my dusty grave,
Lay some flowers from which will emanate
The reassuring scent of your body
Caress the rock till it shivers under your touch
Then only ― read my epitaph ―

Without a tear
Read it like the letters I used to send you
Messages now burried in a box

Never stop reading it
For each time you’ll see new words paint
The hard stone of my heart.

Someone has made my flame freeze
But I’ve not been silenced
For the moon will light each single letter
Of each of my prayers

Hear my voice reading the
Sweet lullaby I will hum and
Engrave in your ears,
Before you fall asleep
And join me for the night.

[Granny5]

Sweets, This is so beautiful. As I read I got the image of my grandfather after my grandmother died, standing by her grave. And always telling her goodnight before going to sleep. It moved me and I think it's wonderful.
Thank you so much for posting it.

[symphony]

I like it. I like it. I like it.

[Sweets America]

Granny, thank you for your wonderful answer! I love what you said about the image of your grandfather and grandmother. I'm really happy that you like this poem.

Symphony, thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

I too love this poem, although it is hard for me to divorced my feelings about it from the characteristic sweetness of all your posts.

It is a little reminscent of The Londonderry Air, more commonly referred to as Danny Boy which I almost want to apologize for mentioning to you because if you didn't already know and you go and summon up the singing of it {http://www.ireland-information.com/irishmusic/dannyboy.shtml) it will probably start you and your doggy bawling!

I have a wee quibble:


Hear my voice reading the
Sweet lullaby I will hum and
Engrave in your ears,
Before you fall asleep
And join me for the night.

I find the transition from the gentleness of "sweet lullaby" to "engrave" troo big a leap. I mean, "engraving" to me is a process of cutting or incising, it involves muscle, toughness. On the other hand of course it does serve to prepare us for the thought at the end that he may one day join you in the grave for the "night" of death.

Those last two lines are marvellous in their quietness, their lack of demanding or insistence.

[Sweets America]

Thank you Prince.:) :)

I haven't taken the risk to listen to the song, but I've read the lyrics and I see what you mean.

I personally like he jump from sweet lullaby to engrave because as in my other poem, it shows the mixed up feelings that love conveys. I mean, on one side it is sweet, and on the other side there is a tough side to it. Love can become hurtful when it is too strong. Ah, I don't find the words to express my views here.

Anyway, I appreciated your comment very much! I like when people don't agree with me, because it brings discussions.

Hey, you know that I had not even grasped the meaning you found in the last lines of the poem?? I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote them, I just let my soul write. I love that you help me to understand some of my feelings better. Sometimes I feel things and I'm not even aware of them. How eerie.

[CdnReader]

Sweets, I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said, except for this: I hope you will continue sharing your poems with us. :)

[Sweets America]

Thank you, Cdn. It is a real pleasure to know that my writing can appeal to people. I have laid other thoughts on the paper, but they have not taken the form of poems yet.

[libernaut]

I like this poem a lot. i love the way you described reading the letters again and getting something different out of it the later times around. I know how this is. You are talented. the ending is beautiful.

[Pendragon]

Touching. There is a grave I visit sometimes, hard to find, as there is no real marker. My younger brother. I go and sing there sometimes. Your poetry is lovely, word choice sublime.

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Appaluse.gif

[Sweets America]

Libernaut, thank you a lot for your comment and saying I am talented. Though I think the readers are talented too in finding great meanings to my lines, like what Prince said. Also, I love that each one of you related to this poem and found that it meant something for you regarding your own lives.

Pendragon, your answer is lovely. Thank you very much. :)

[manny2]

glad i stumbled upon this, its wonderfully written.. a lot of people can relate to it, easy to get imagery out of it. nicely done :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

glad i stumbled upon this, its wonderfully written.. a lot of people can relate to it, easy to get imagery out of it. nicely done :)
Manny, if you like that one check out this one as well:

http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29784

[Sweets America]

glad i stumbled upon this, its wonderfully written.. a lot of people can relate to it, easy to get imagery out of it. nicely done :)

Wow Manny, you managed to find this old poem in the depths of the forum! :) I am so happy that you like it! Thank you very much!!!:D

[ampoule]

When I got to the part that 'someone has made my flame freeze', I no longer thought of death of the body, but of that inner spark. Now everyone is probably hitting their heads and saying, 'Well...duh!' Hey, I'm quick. Or maybe I got that because I know about that death. It will be resurrected, stronger than ever. It's not really death anyway, just a stunned sleep. And after all this, did I say I liked your poem? Well, I did.

[stormy sky]

It's a very very beutiful piece.
It'll be on my list of poems I read before turning in.

[Sweets America]

Thanks ampoule. :)
I think my poem was mainly about the death of the body, but yes there is something of the death of the inner spark, but in the meantime I wanted to say that even in death the lovers remained linked. The love remained there.

Thank you stormy sky! :)
It's a very lovely reply that you gave me.