As You Sleep

[CdnReader]

.
As You Sleep

I love to watch you sleep....

All the worries and all the anxieties
washed away by the drifting sands of sleep.
You have entered a place of peace
where no other can follow.

I gently touch your cheek
with the back of my hand
.....soft soft
so as not to awaken
but only to love you
as you sleep.

Do you dream now?
Of what do you dream?
Of faraway worlds where life is everything
you ever dreamt it could be?

I watch your chest rise and fall
with deeply serene breaths,
and I place my hand there
to feel your life
as you sleep.

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cdn/15apr07
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[Granny5]

This may be my favorite so far. At first I thought of my husband but then I thought of my children then my Mother when she was ill. I think anything that can provoke so many memories and so much feeling is beautiful.
Thank you cdn for sharing this.

[amanda_isabel]

thought provocative.. great job! was able to enjoy.. thanks..

[dibyendra]

Hey cdn, I must be a regular reader of your poems. :yawnb: Really ! your poem are spell bounding. Keep up your good work. I liked the plot of this poem and expression style.

[Pensive]

I have really liked this one! :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

.
As You Sleep

I love to watch you sleep....

All the worries and all the anxieties
washed away by the drifting sands of sleep.
You have entered a place of peace
where no other can follow.

I gently touch your cheek
with the back of my hand
.....soft soft
so as not to awaken
but only to love you
as you sleep.

Do you dream now?
Of what do you dream?
Of faraway worlds where life is everything
you ever dreamt it could be?

I watch your chest rise and fall
with deeply serene breaths,
and I place my hand there
to feel your life

as you sleep.

.
cdn/15apr07
.

Lovely! Would you consider a blank line before that final "as you sleep" (as above) which might give it an extra beat of tenderness, of tentativeness, to mimic the speaker's hushed awe as she watches him?

[Riesa]

Very nice. I do agree with Myshkin's suggestion. I too, first thought of my husband, then of my children, and then was reminded of my husband telling me something along the lines of "you look so innocent and peaceful when you sleep" as opposed to 'guilty and warlike' when I'm awake. ;) there is something so restful in watching a loved one sleep, and this is echoed in your gentle poem. thank you.

my favorite stanza which brought me 'there' and where I most felt the sweet sentimentz:


I gently touch your cheek
with the back of my hand
.....soft soft
so as not to awaken
but only to love you
as you sleep.

[CdnReader]

Thank you so much, Granny, Amanda, Dibyendra, Pensive, PM, and Riesa. I very much appreciate all of your comments. :) LOL at Riesa: "guilty and warlike" when awake. LOL.

[Pendragon]

Love it. Reminds me of Kenny Rodgers' song While She Waits... Beautiful.

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

[motherhubbard]

I've been slacking in the personal poetry section and I'm sorry that I've missed these wonderful poems. Yours does speak to everyone. People can be so lovely when they sleep. I agree with prince about the last line and I wonder what you would think of leaving out the first line- Your love for the sleeper and enjoyment in watching the sleep shines through the lines without it.

[CdnReader]

Thank you very much, Pen and Mother. I will carefully consider all of your suggestions. :)

[formality hater]

Worked for me!(Good descriptions always do;))

[Sweets America]

I really love the theme of this poem. It is so quiet, peaceful... I wish I could just watch my Love sleeping and just stay there, next to him, listening to his breath. I like what you wrote about all the worries and anxieties that are washed away as we sleep. When a loved one tends to have a hectic life, it somehow reassures us to know that at least, when he sleeps, his fears go away and he can rest and dream of happy times.
I love the lines 'and I place my hand there to feel your life', that means so much. And also the lines about gently touching the person's cheek, very gently so that he won't wake up from that peaceful state.
I think this is a very delicate poem which underlines how we can love details about a person and be mesmerized by a human being, in such a way that time seems to have stopped somehow. That makes me think of your other poem 'Now' because both are dealing with seizing something special that could easlily pass by us if we didn't look and listen attentively.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I really love the theme of this poem. It is so quiet, peaceful... I wish I could just watch my Love sleeping and just stay there, next to him, listening to his breath. I like what you wrote about all the worries and anxieties that are washed away as we sleep. When a loved one tends to have a hectic life, it somehow reassures us to know that at least, when he sleeps, his fears go away and he can rest and dream of happy times.
I love the lines 'and I place my hand there to feel your life', that means so much. And also the lines about gently touching the person's cheek, very gently so that he won't wake up from that peaceful state.
I think this is a very delicate poem which underlines how we can love details about a person and be mesmerized by a human being, in such a way that time seems to have stopped somehow. That makes me think of your other poem 'Now' because both are dealing with seizing something special that could easlily pass by us if we didn't look and listen attentively.

Speaking both from my own experience of getting positive feedback and as a dear friend of the poster you're responding to, I hope you understand how much pleasure your responses to this and her other poem are likely to give her!

[Sweets America]

Her poems, especially this one, resonate in me, and thus I am glad to give her this feedback. :)
Isn't it amazing how words coming from the depths of one soul can fly and gently lay in another soul? When people write poetry, they never know in whose soul it will resonate, or if it will resonate at all, they just take their words out and hope they will land somewhere in another soul. They hope that another being on this planet will gain an emotion from their words, and most of the time, this other human being exists. There is a magical sense in that. This is delicate communication.

[CdnReader]

Worked for me!(Good descriptions always do;))

Thanks, FH. Much appreciated! :)


I really love the theme of this poem. It is so quiet, peaceful... I wish I could just watch my Love sleeping and just stay there, next to him, listening to his breath. I like what you wrote about all the worries and anxieties that are washed away as we sleep. When a loved one tends to have a hectic life, it somehow reassures us to know that at least, when he sleeps, his fears go away and he can rest and dream of happy times.
I love the lines 'and I place my hand there to feel your life', that means so much. And also the lines about gently touching the person's cheek, very gently so that he won't wake up from that peaceful state.
I think this is a very delicate poem which underlines how we can love details about a person and be mesmerized by a human being, in such a way that time seems to have stopped somehow. That makes me think of your other poem 'Now' because both are dealing with seizing something special that could easlily pass by us if we didn't look and listen attentively.

Thank you ever so much for all these wonderful words, Sweets. You are indeed a very observant and thoughtful reader who feels things deeply. I am honoured that you have shared this response with us. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you.


Speaking both from my own experience of getting positive feedback and as a dear friend of the poster you're responding to, I hope you understand how much pleasure your responses to this and her other poem are likely to give her!

Oh, PM. You are SOOOO right! :) Big hugs for you, my friend, just for knowing me so well.


Her poems, especially this one, resonate in me, and thus I am glad to give her this feedback. :)
Isn't it amazing how words coming from the depths of one soul can fly and gently lay in another soul? When people write poetry, they never know in whose soul it will resonate, or if it will resonate at all, they just take their words out and hope they will land somewhere in another soul. They hope that another being on this planet will gain an emotion from their words, and most of the time, this other human being exists. There is a magical sense in that. This is delicate communication.

Sweets, I love how you've described this. Clearly you have the heart of a poet yourself. What you have said is so true....and my dearest wish is that it would happen more often. Sometimes it seems the words line up in such a way that other hearts are moved. Other times they surprise you! I will admit that this poem "As You Sleep" is one of my personal favourites; yet still the overwhelmingly positive reaction has both surprised and greatly pleased me. When one's words are received so warmly, it creates a special space in the universe where strangers connect.

On the other hand, the poem "Now" -- I very nearly did not post it at all, because I wasn't confident that it was good enough to share. Yet, that too, seems to have moved a few readers here, and I am immensely grateful for all of your kind words over the past couple of days. Trust me -- I have plenty in my collection that no one identifies with but me. :D

P.S. I hope that you will consider adding your thoughts about poetry to PrinceMyshkin's thread entitled "Complete the following: A poem is...." They very much deserve to be there. Hugs. :)