Death and loved ones..

[Poetess]

Do you have a loved dead person? Someone you really appreciate who died while you were alive? What are the lovely memories?

When my official exams` results turned out, I had to baby-sit my students for their cousin (22 years old) - who was my dear dear close friend- wanted to go out at night. I always enjoyed baby-sitting them with him (the friend) we used to pick up on them (on the kids, they are a 12 year-old twin), play with them, laugh, and really have a blast.
On that day, when I was baby-sitting them alone, all of my thoughts were about him, like I miss him, I wish he were with me and stuff. The parents came back home at 3:00 AM, so I left home. At 3:30 AM my close friend was dead by a car accident.. I didn`t even see him that day, I was thinking hardly about him, I went over the balcony at 2:00 AM to see if he were down there, but I found no trace..
I knew about his death at 9:00 AM.
Now it`s been like 2 or 3 weeks, and I really miss him so much. I really wish I had the chance to serve him dinner before leaving, I wish he could come back to beat me then kiss me like before..
May God bliss his soul in His Heavens..

The celestial creatures bow on this twilight,
For the Angel of death chose the sweetest soul.
Angels will light the way,
Cherubim will hold him flowers of Eden
And the Skies will open the doors.

Shall this merry soul soar with rejoice,
Happiness, and smiles of this only moment.
He will be dressed in white,
And the Skies will have no clouds,
But adorned with his sacred beauty.

The soul of my guy will fly up high,
Beyond the stars and distant worlds.
The planets will wed,
And asteroids will bounce
And the comets will do fireworks.

While we sit so deep inside, in stillness,
We weep and cry, and face painful aches.
But then we forget
And live again
For life is a lot unfair.


I wrote him this one. It describes how his soul leaves this world and heads to the life in skies. The last stanza talks about us (i remember how crazy i went on the first day, his mom is still crazy till now in a real huge shock), how we -alive ppl- feel sorry for those who die, and then we forget and recover of this sadness and live on.

[sam96]

I'm so sorry for what it's worth.:(
No,I didn't lose anyone this close (yet).

[Virgil]

My sympathies Poetess. I don't handle the deaths of anyone close very well. I know how you feel. Like you said, may God bless his soul. :(

[thrisiakaye]

oh. that was so sad..

[Pensive]

It just seemed sso un-understandable that my grandmother could die when I was as young as about seven. I used to ask her to teach me how to knit when I grew up. I used to spend a lot of time with her talking and hearing old tales. Now when she is dead sometimes I feel if only she could live... If I have to go back in time and get something, that would be getting back my grandmother!

[Granny5]

I lost my two best friends from earlier in my life, my Mother and my Grandfather. The pain receeds but never leaves. But as long as I have memories and my children have memories and their children are told of the memories, as long as the things they taught me are taught to generations that came or will come after them, they live on. It's a beautiful poem that touches my heart.

[Haven]

Hi Poetess

Losing a loved one is something that I am familiar with. I don't think I could begin to write just yet about this apect of our lives in direct relationship to me. Just, not yet, maybe someday soon.

Here is a Haiku that I wrote about a friend's lose... think it is a my way of coping, you see it's not really about me.

Coffee and death
________________________________________

Does anyone shed tears?
Friday I watched shed tears; surprised
Emotion, sad Jo

Jo's mother has died
Your friends sip their coffee, guilt
in their eyes. Bad, sad

They had forgotten
that she is gone from Jo's life
whispers, "she told me"

Jo, gone to the loo
to cry in peace, forgiving
her friends who forgot

Sue: I know she...
Jon: was it cancer? My fault...
Me: no, I'm to blame

Euthanasia
Quality not quantity
Of life...take it back

Two years they have passed
But the pain remains with Jo
Her fear? Mother tell

Truth, was it your time?

Truth, it was cancer
Change the subject, she's back...
Jo, are your okay?

She sips her coffee
"So sorry," she whispers
Help wipe away tears

Desperately we
Move on to simpler matters
Than death with coffee

Coffee on Friday...

Haven
June 2007

[Sweets America]

:( I have never lost a loved one, so I cannot say I truly know how it feels. Though when I think of the possibility, my heart shrinks from the despair. Some part of me dreads those awful moments, even though I personally think that a loved one never really leaves. There are always some traces, memories, feelings floating around.

[formality hater]

[/QUOTE=Pensive;421045]It just seemed sso un-understandable that my grandmother could die when I was as young as about seven. I used to ask her to teach me how to knit when I grew up. I used to spend a lot of time with her talking and hearing old tales. Now when she is dead sometimes I feel if only she could live... [/QUOTE]

It happened with me too but I had spent too little time with my grandmother so at her death I was like,"I had to know a lot about her."Lots of things remained unsaid and unheard:(

For me, sometimes death of strangers or even animals seem agonising.I remember myself mourning over my father's dead turkey ,and a few months back I heard about the death of a local Tv anchor,I could not sleep for many days!
Ah, life with an unexpected end to it:(

[Pensive]

It happened with me too but I had spent too little time with my grandmother so at her death I was like,"I had to know a lot about her."Lots of things remained unsaid and unheard:(

But with me it was a bit different. Mother used to visit Nani Amma everyday and sometimes I was left with her. So I remember how I used to make her quarrel with grandfather. I could be a really naughty kid! And then I used to question her about my own mother and uncle and aunt. How they were like. Grandmother also used to buy me ice-creams! (and spoil me in Grandfather's opinion you know.)

But I was young, I forgot this incident, not that I could wash away her memory but it strikes me now only when I see other people going to their grandmothers' homes and all that. Or sometimes when the talk turns towards Mamu and his children because she used to tell me a lot of stories about him! And funny ones.

And how we used to try to steal clothes from her basket to play our dramas! Dupattas mainly! And her house, yes, we all cousins used to visit it and have fun! After that, I have never had that much fun!

[Poetess]

I lost my two best friends from earlier in my life, my Mother and my Grandfather. The pain receeds but never leaves. But as long as I have memories and my children have memories and their children are told of the memories, as long as the things they taught me are taught to generations that came or will come after them, they live on. It's a beautiful poem that touches my heart.


Thank you. Yes, I do believe in: "Though the body has gone, the spirit will always remain". I believe in the spirit as in the memories too.


Haven, I really like the haiku you have written.
formality hater and Pensive, I am not well wonted to my granny; however, my mother`s granny used to always embrace me and keep me company whenever I went to sleep over. Last year, she died at night, and we had to go to the funeral at that time.
For the first time, I was brave enough to help in giving the death-bath for a dead person.
I just felt like I owe her alot, I wasn`t afraid at all down in the underground dark chamber of one lamp.. but hey, I didn`t feel so much in pain because I didn`t see her as often, I saw her more when I was a kid...


Though when I think of the possibility, my heart shrinks from the despair
Exactly!
In Islam, there are certain stories that describe what happens to a dead person. They are really scary! So when I think of death, I really get depressed insomuch I imagine myself dying..

[kathycf]

Hi Poetess, and sorry for your loss. I have lost several people I care about, one fairly recently, so I know this must be a difficult time for you. Take care of yourself and try to remember happy times spent with your friend. I guess I don't have much else to say without seeming trite, so I will just wish you well.

[browneyedbailey]

I lost a dear friend named Lois last year. Died of a stroke at 77. She was my best friend. My mum was worried about me for a long time. Never had a ture local friend scince.

[pussnboots]

Seven years ago I lost my father, year and half ago lost my father-in-law. Losing them was hard on both sides of the family. I have also lost my grandparents, my favorite aunt and uncle.
I have never lost any close friends.
All I can say is losing someone you love is never easy. I wish there was a grieving pill one can take in circumstances like this. You just have to try to remember the good times and not dwell on the bad ones. It is not easy but over time it does get better, at least for most people.
I remember when my grandfather passed away, we all thought that he would follow shortly thereafter. He missed his wife so much. He went on to live another 10-12 years and passed away at 92.

[Shea]

When my grandfather died, we had a memorial because he was cremated. During it, there was a slide show of all sorts of pictures of him (my family is big into taking pictures). As sad as we all were, most of us were laughing as the pictures came up. He was such a fun and energetic person. The picture I remember most was probably taken in his early 70's, when he was dressed as a cowboy, sitting on a toy horse, holding his hat in the air as he pretended that it was bucking him. He was so much fun!

[TheFifthElement]

I think death gets harder to deal with as you get older. I lost my best friend at the age of 7 and didn't even really understand what was going on. My Dad died 10 years ago, when I was in my early 20's, and it cuts me more now than it did then, especially when I think about how he would have loved my children but in fact he never met them. Recently a work colleague passed away unexpectedly at the age of 44. It's now 5 months since he died and even thinking about him really makes me want to cry. He was one of those people who could turn the darkest days into a sun-filled, rainbow sky. I miss him. It seems so unfair. But then I also feel lucky that he touched my life, and though I miss him terribly I can only do so because he had such a positive effect on me. It is small comfort, but comfort all the same.

[1n50mn14]

I'd say I'm sorry for everybody's losses, but it's such a reguritated line. What I will say is I'm glad for you that you had the chance to know the people you loved so well, and I hope you fare well in life without them and remember them.

FifthElement, I'm glad you can see the comforting side.

My step-grandfather died some years ago, we were extremely close and he was always the one who supported my photography and horseback riding and love of animals. I feel terrible because I didn't visit him for two years before his death; he had cancer and I had a lot of anger at the people who said he was going to die. I didn't want to believe that, so I didn't visit. Anyway. I wonder if he'd be proud of me now and who I am and I look to that for comfort. Because I know that no matter who I am, he'll be proud of me.

[Sweets America]

That is strange, when I first replied to this thread I had never lost anyone. It has changed, I have lost one of the most important persons in my life, my beloved Mabrouck. It was terrible at first, when I saw his dead body, but now it is different, because I feel as if he were still here, I don't feel the loss, I feel as if he were next to me, and I often talk about him in the present tense. He is intemporal anyway.:)