First Poem Posted

[Granny5]

Ok. I'm posting this because I told someone I would. This is the first poem I've allowed anyone to read in over 20 years so.....here goes: :blush:



You look to me with trust,
your happiness in my care,
your care in my hands,
my hands full of your life.
You became a child
filling my life with
no expectations,
but with unconditional love,
again.
Time to share-
Not hope, just time.
Your gift to me so precious,
the time you have
given freely, unselfishly-
Making it bearable to remain
with memories so precious.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Ok. I'm posting this because I told someone I would. This is the first poem I've allowed anyone to read in over 20 years so.....here goes: :blush:



You look to me with trust,
your happiness in my care,
your care in my hands,
my hands full of your life.
You became a child
filling my life with
no expectations,
but with unconditional love,
again.
Time to share-
Not hope, just time.
Your gift to me so precious,
the time you have
given freely, unselfishly-
Making it bearable to remain
with memories so precious.

Yes, parenthood so often gives US so much more than we ever manage to give our kids! I hope you will share this with your child(ren) as well.

[motherhubbard]

As it happens, this is my mother. The poem is about her own mother who she cared for during a long battle with cancer. Isn't it more lovely knowing this is about her own mother instead of her children? She cared for her mother with all of the love her mother had given her and it was everything.

[Granny5]

But, child of mine, it's also about you and your siblings carrying on the cycle of unconditional love.

[PrinceMyshkin]

But, child of mine, it's also about you and your siblings carrying on the cycle of unconditional love.

Learning about this connection between you two wonderful people reminds me of a time when my sons, teen-agers at the time, had got into an animated conversation with a stranger in a line-up. (He was Belgian, I think, which accounts for the way I've spelled out his dialogue.)

When he realized that they were actually brothers, he exclaimed:

"Don't tell me that you two are brozzers? That would be too wonderful!"

Love to both of you and all your little folk as well.

[motherhubbard]

I thought everyone just knew! Seems obvious to me.

[Pendragon]

It seems that poetry, or the creative spark that makes it work, runs in families. Good show, Granny. My own daughter was a published poet, (magazines) while still in high school, and like myself, won severl art awards. My older son writes songs, but he's in to very heavy metal rock and the words make my hair turn sometimes. Both he and his younger brother are budding horticulturists.

Good luck!

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

[browneyedbailey]

well written granny

[Debrasue]

Hey Granny5....I guess it does run in families...your daughter is a beautiful poet...maybe got it from you?...you both have a wonderful way with words....I always look forward to motherhubbard's poems....and now yours!

That was a very touching poem...

[ampoule]

[QUOTE=Granny5;414971]Ok. I'm posting this because I told someone I would. This is the first poem I've allowed anyone to read in over 20 years so.....here goes: :blush:



Well, I thank you for trusting us with it, your poem. It's lovely.

[motherhubbard]

You look to me with trust,
your happiness in my care,
your care in my hands,
my hands full of your life.
You became a child
filling my life with
no expectations,
but with unconditional love,
again.
Time to share-
Not hope, just time.
Your gift to me so precious,
the time you have
given freely, unselfishly-
Making it bearable to remain
with memories so precious.


OK. I've had some time to think about this and I remember how difficult this time was for you. I think others who have cared for loved ones going through terminal cancer will know just where you are coming from. The only thing I see wrong with the poem is there is no title and without knowing that history it doesn't have the same meaning. I think you need a title that speaks about how you cared for you mother

[jon1jt]

posted in wrong spot...sorry

[ampoule]

i'm not sure i'm playing correctly. so i pick a word and then write a poem about it on the spot, is that right?? Um...ok, here goes...the word is,
Vacant


Vacant

I’ve tried everything else. Starbucks served me a slice until a baby
stroller came barreling by, the kid's arm
pointing at me like the tube of a gun. A table of Au Pairs chalked up a weekend of bad dates.
“American men, puh!”
her hair spilled like coins. i sat there like a dark hat, wondering if things had been different between her and me, and those assembled mouths the length of a garage, all at once how they snarled through tiny slits as I walked out as if on a leash, words still in the back of my throat, the wrinkly-paged poems rolled up taut in my t-shirt sleeve like a pack of smokes.

LOL.....JON! NOT HERE! LOL Find the poetry thread called "And the word is". You posted a short little comment for Independence. Can you move Vacant over there?

[Granny5]

It seems that poetry, or the creative spark that makes it work, runs in families. Good show, Granny. My own daughter was a published poet, (magazines) while still in high school, and like myself, won severl art awards. My older son writes songs, but he's in to very heavy metal rock and the words make my hair turn sometimes. Both he and his younger brother are budding horticulturists.

Good luck!

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

Thank you Pendragon for your kind words but motherhubbard is the poet, I just play.

[Granny5]

well written granny

Thank you princess browneyedbailey-boo

[Granny5]

Hey Granny5....I guess it does run in families...your daughter is a beautiful poet...maybe got it from you?...you both have a wonderful way with words....I always look forward to motherhubbard's poems....and now yours!

That was a very touching poem...

Debrasue, thanks for your kindness. Motherhubbard is the true poet in the family. She's just trying to teach me.:)

[Granny5]

PrinceMyshkin, Thank you. motherhubbard told me about you...she thinks you're grand! She has always been a very good at reading good people.

[Granny5]

[QUOTE=Granny5;414971]Ok. I'm posting this because I told someone I would. This is the first poem I've allowed anyone to read in over 20 years so.....here goes: :blush:



Well, I thank you for trusting us with it, your poem. It's lovely.

Thanks to everyone for being so kind....it wasn's so bad after all. I was a little nervous about posting it.

[motherhubbard]

Motherhubbard is the true poet in the family. She's just trying to teach me.:)

Mother, you are so full of crap. Your poem was wonderful. I can promise that if someone had thought of something to say to make it better you would have heard it, and if it were hopeless you would have heard that as well. And maybe someone will come up with a suggestion, but it is a fantastic poem. I have read other things you've written and you are very good.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Mother, you are so full of crap. Your poem was wonderful. I can promise that if someone had thought of something to say to make it better you would have heard it, and if it were hopeless you would have heard that as well. And maybe someone will come up with a suggestion, but it is a fantastic poem. I have read other things you've written and you are very good.


ATTENTION LOGOS: Some foul-mouthed person has managed to post on here using MH's sign in!!!

[Debrasue]

Roflmao!!!

[Granny5]

Mother, you are so full of crap. Your poem was wonderful. I can promise that if someone had thought of something to say to make it better you would have heard it, and if it were hopeless you would have heard that as well. And maybe someone will come up with a suggestion, but it is a fantastic poem. I have read other things you've written and you are very good.

Watch your mouth young lady. You were raised better than to talk to your elders (well, just a little bit elder) like that. And what were you doing looking at my personal stuff?

[Granny5]

Prince, don't encourage her. She can get out of hand at times.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Prince, don't encourage her. She can get out of hand at times.

If she weren't "out of hand" I don't think I would recognize her.

But seriously, I love that little insight into what an egalitarian, free-speaking relationship you two have. As do I especially with my first-born, to whom I recently sent this little scribble:



Are you the mess
you think you are
or are you the one who thinks
you’re a mess?

to which he very quickly responded:



Are you a butterfly
Dreaming you are Lao Tzu
Or are you a dude
Online in his boxer shorts?

[Granny5]

LOL I'd bet you are the latter! Mother and I have gone from a mother/daughter relationship to one of best friends. I fear the time will come when the mother/daughter thing will be reversed. I just hope she has the gumption to put me in the home then! Actually, she may already have my reservation.

[Granny5]

I don't have a title for it. It just is. Maybe it's Mother and Child or something gushy like that. Or maybe it just is. I had enough drama getting the nerve up to post it. Don't know if I have enough nerve pills to title it.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I don't have a title for it. It just is. Maybe it's Mother and Child or something gushy like that. Or maybe it just is. I had enough drama getting the nerve up to post it. Don't know if I have enough nerve pills to title it.

Frankly, if I might borrow from your daughter's elegant vocabulary, I think "Mother and Child" would be full of crap as a title for that poem, too gushy indeed as you suggest, whereas the opening line might make a fine title. "You look to me with trust" has both the tenderness that characterizes the poem and, as a title, a small element of suspense, i.e., will that trust turn out to be well-founded?

But you must have had plenty of nerve to survive bringing up that hellion?

[Granny5]

Frankly, if I might borrow from your daughter's elegant vocabulary, I think "Mother and Child" would be full of crap as a title for that poem, too gushy indeed as you suggest, whereas the opening line might make a fine title. "You look to me with trust" has both the tenderness that characterizes the poem and, as a title, a small element of suspense, i.e., will that trust turn out to be well-founded?

But you must have had plenty of nerve to survive bringing up that hellion?

I think you're right so, If motherhubbard approves, (she'll fuss if I don't consult her first) I think I'll go with "You Look to Me with Trust". Thank you very much.
And where do you think all my nerves went? Actually, she was a very good child till she graduated at 16 and became very independent!

[PrinceMyshkin]

And where do you think all my nerves went? Actually, she was a very good child till she graduated at 16 and became very independent!

You ain't just whistlin' Dixie!

[motherhubbard]

Watch your mouth young lady. You were raised better than to talk to your elders (well, just a little bit elder) like that. And what were you doing looking at my personal stuff?

mom, I only looked in your personal stuff once, and it wasn't to read your writings. You used to let me read what you had written.


But you must have had plenty of nerve to survive bringing up that hellion?

I beg your pardon! I was much harder on my father who had to drive back to the grocery store to get my imaginary friends who he failed to lift out of the cart and put in the car, or who had to make middle of the night runs for banana popsicles when I was sick - Mom had it easy!

I think that title is fine, but I don't think it really gives away the secret of the poem, and I think that is necessary to really understand it. I want it to say something about caring for your mother.

[Granny5]

mom, I only looked in your personal stuff once, and it wasn't to read your writings. You used to let me read what you had written.



I beg your pardon! I was much harder on my father who had to drive back to the grocery store to get my imaginary friends who he failed to lift out of the cart and put in the car, or who had to make middle of the night runs for banana popsicles when I was sick - Mom had it easy!

I think that title is fine, but I don't think it really gives away the secret of the poem, and I think that is necessary to really understand it. I want it to say something about caring for your mother.

I did all the laundry.
What are your suggestions on the title?

[motherhubbard]

Well, I guess I’m just one of those people who complain about what you think up while offering no good suggestion of my own. I'm thinking and you know how difficult that can be for me!

[ampoule]

Ok. I'm posting this because I told someone I would. This is the first poem I've allowed anyone to read in over 20 years so.....here goes: :blush:



Well, I thank you for trusting us with it, your poem. It's lovely.

I believe I would title the poem, A Time For Us or maybe, In My Hands.

[Granny5]

I believe I would title the poem, A Time For Us or maybe, In My Hands.

Thank you Ampoule! I think In My Hands feels right. Of course, I thought Prince had it with You Look to Me With Trust. Now I'm wondering if I will think that no matter what someone suggests, I'll think it's great. In My Hands feels like I felt when my Mom was sick. So I believe you've hit it on the head.Thanks so much.

[motherhubbard]

OK granny- you've named it. Now we all want to see what you'll write next.

[ampoule]

OK granny- you've named it. Now we all want to see what you'll write next.


Amen.