Why hasn’t romance died?

[PrinceMyshkin]

I could have asked Why Hasn’t marriage died, since something like half of them end in divorce anyway and maybe half of those that don’t end in divorce, ought to. But it’s the continuation of our romantic ideals I’d like to discuss with you.

I’m not talking about the gratification of physiological needs. You can have that if it’s all that you want (and you’re a bit ‘luckier’ than I have been lately!).

And I’m not talking about an insurance policy against future loneliness, the guarantee of a date every Saturday night or someone to see that you get a decent burial when the time comes.

No, I’m talking about that prickle in the heart, the craziness, elation, fascination with everything about the other (“You like pickles with your grilled cheese sandwiches - Wow!” “You voted for George W. who? Double Wow!”). I’m talking about that thing that turns your life from a yaaaaaaaaaawn into the most exciting thing since the Flood!

We all have good reasons NOT to believe in it any more. We’ve all been stung. And yet we go on believing in it. We might not want to admit we do, lest we come across as adolescent or gauche, but we do believe in it, hope for it...

Why?

[motherhubbard]

I love the sweet taste in the air around you.
It is electrified and makes my hair stand on end.

My heart beats with more clarity,
Though my mind is consumed with only you.

Even when I pine I like the depth of
my heart ach, reminding me I’m human.

I find this feeling a bit uncomfortable,
but I’m excited, nervous,
wanting a little more, but not knowing
what to expect

It’s like a cold water dip in the blazing dog days,
or ice cream in a soar throat.
It's not without pain or shock,
but there is pleasure in that pain.

I may try not to notice,
but my eyes keep finding you.

Even in your absence
I’m sure we are still connected.

Thinking you might love me
gives me purpose, a meaning I did not previously have.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I love the sweet taste in the air around you.
It is electrified and makes my hair stand on end.

My heart beats with more clarity,
Though my mind is consumed with only you.

Even when I pine I like the depth of
my heart ach, reminding me I’m human.

I find this feeling a bit uncomfortable,
but I’m excited, nervous,
wanting a little more, but not knowing
what to expect

It’s like a cold water dip in the blazing dog days,
or ice cream in a soar throat.
It's not without pain or shock,
but there is pleasure in that pain.

I may try not to notice,
but my eyes keep finding you.

Even in your absence
I’m sure we are still connected.

Thinking you might love me
gives me purpose, a meaning I did not previously have.

Well, that is certainly YOUR answer! And a wonderful answer it is, too - one that I hope you will share with the person who inspired it!

But you know what? I think I would drop the last two lines. They feel prosey by contrast with the directness and simplicity of the two shorter lines that precede it. Sometimes the more briefly a thing is said, the more conviction there is in it. THe heart is sometimes more plainly spoken than the mind.

[motherhubbard]

oh, prince. I just blurbed that out in real quick to answer without really answering. But I'll take the advice. I have a tendency to worry about the baby being tucked in don't I.

Romance feels so good when it's good that I'll take it even though it's sometimes bad. And yes, I've been through the bad, but I want/need to believe that most people are good. I can't let a few whoppers here and there leave me without hope for humanity. Though I am more cautious than I was when I was younger. I think that romance is wonderful, but I didn't enjoy dating. That stinks!

[dramasnot6]

Romance is what shapes the humanity of humans, the product of the most beautiful parts of the human condition and of higher order thinking.

[hedbanger]

I... totally do not get what you're asking. D:

[Pensive]

Why hasn’t romance died?

Why hasn't the human species died? Why doesn't everyone just commit suicide and die? About half of the population in the world is poor and more than half of it is unhappy with the poverty!

[PrinceMyshkin]

Romance is what shapes the humanity of humans, the product of the most beautiful parts of the human condition and of higher order thinking.

What you say is lovely but so much at odds with the last statement in your signature!

[dramasnot6]

What you say is lovely but so much at odds with the last statement in your signature!

:lol: My signature only expresses my love for ee cummings and his taste for irony

[Haven]

Don't you think that 'romance' is a product of society? In the 16th c. we had [okay talking England here and the court of Eliz. I] 'courtly love' wherein the honourable knight could admire the fair lady from afar... during the Restoration 17th c. and the court of Charles II; this ideology within society replaced courtly with cavalier... just a thought.

These days, romance is what? Candlelit dinners, champagne, chocolates and roses. It is celebrated on 14 Feb ... yes, it is a product of the cultural canon of the time and that is why it will never die. ;)

Sorry Drama you answer is so much nicer. I wish, well...

[motherhubbard]

These days, romance is what? Candlelit dinners, champagne, chocolates and roses. It is celebrated on 14 Feb ... yes, it is a product of the cultural canon of the time and that is why it will never die. ;)



That stuff isn't very romantic to me. I think romance is less material and more spontaneous.

[Haven]

yeah, you speak the truth Mother Hubbard, you are right. Romance is in our souls. I know that. :)
My response was purely repartee. ;)
Sorry Prince but got to agree with MH. It is hormonal oh, even that is too simplistic.

Romance and one's response to it, is visceral.

[motherhubbard]

I'm sure there is some kind of chemical thing going on inside of us that is addictive so that even when we know better or when it's bad for us, we want more stomach butterflies called romance.

[Haven]

I love those stomach butterflies :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

yeah, you speak the truth Mother Hubbard, you are right. Romance is in our souls. I know that. :)
My response was purely repartee. ;)
Sorry Prince but got to agree with MH. It is hormonal oh, even that is too simplistic.

Romance and one's response to it, is visceral.

What ISN'T visceral, my dear? Hunger? And if you're hungry do you view with contempt your desire for a fine 5-course meal in preference to the toast slathered with Marmite that might fill you up?

[SleepyWitch]

Don't you think that 'romance' is a product of society? In the 16th c. we had [okay talking England here and the court of Eliz. I] 'courtly love' wherein the honourable knight could admire the fair lady from afar... during the Restoration 17th c. and the court of Charles II; this ideology within society replaced courtly with cavalier... just a thought.

These days, romance is what? Candlelit dinners, champagne, chocolates and roses. It is celebrated on 14 Feb ... yes, it is a product of the cultural canon of the time and that is why it will never die. ;)

Sorry Drama you answer is so much nicer. I wish, well...

yep, I partly agree with you Haven.
the idea of romantic love is said to be a product of (Western) culture.
a politics professor from India once told us in her lecture that in her country or African countries, this idea is totally strange to some people. they don't actually know the feeling we call "love". to them marriage is just a necessity or tradition...
on the other hand, I wonder whether people in those countries really never have a crush on someone...
after all, you can 'objectively' feel those stomach butterflies and measure those chemical reactions and stuff.
but then, maybe we could be lead to feel stomach butterflies about anything (buildings, our fave cake, clouds, whatever) if it was part of our culture?

[Haven]

What ISN'T visceral, my dear? Hunger? And if you're hungry do you view with contempt your desire for a fine 5-course meal in preference to the toast slathered with Marmite that might fill you up?

Hey you asked for opinions and that is what I have given. My opinion. I engaged with your query on two levels. One Romance as a product of the cultural canon and romance as being an inherently visceral response. Your patronizing response is therefore unwarrented.