You are the One

[MaryEliFit]

You are the one
That I love with every breath we take
You are the one
I want to spend my whole life with

You are the one
That I want to wake up next to each morning
You are the one
That I want to say I love you to

You are the one
That I want to do everything for
You are the one
That makes my heart beat even more

You are the one
Where I don't ever want to let you go
You are the one
Where I can never get enough of

You are the one
Who makes my smiles grow
You are the one
Who makes my love show

You are the one
Who I want to live with forever
And you are the one
I want to take my last breath with

[ampoule]

From one California girl to another....you are a gonner! I know how this feels. I hope you are still there. I have a feeling you are not looking for a comment on your life, however, but on your poem. I will leave that up to the experts but I like the flow. This could probably be read as an exchange of marriage vows.

[jon1jt]

You are the one
That I love with every breath we take
I want to spend my whole life with
That I want to wake up next to each morning
You are the one
That I want to say I love you to
That I want to do everything for
That makes my heart beat even more
Where I don't ever want to let you go
Where I can never get enough of
Who makes my smiles grow
Who makes my love show
Who I want to live with forever
I want to take my last breath with


as you can see, the poem is much shorter without the ad nauseum repetition. might as well reduce this to one line from which all else follows:

That I want to spend my whole life with


i suggest that you move beyond the cliches and please, please, tell us how you really feel. :)